Hello,I'm new here

[pennypanic]

Hello guys,
You can find my story about my panic attacks at the medication section>Escitalopram (I need 3 more posts in order to post a link). As you will see I decided to take meds in order to fight it back, combining it with psychoanalysis and CTB.So far I had one session with my psychologist but she was asking me about my family background, and what might have triggered my panic attacks.Is that a part of CTB.
The problem is that I'm house bound,too afraid to step out of the house unless I have to walk my dog for a short distance. Panic attacks made me agoraphobic,i'm not going to work anymore and I moved to my parent's house. :mad: Anyways my anxiety kept growing up and I could barely sleep for 5 days,couldn't focus on anything not even watch tv and had terrible nightmares. It's been a week and a half now that the only thing I do while on bed reading everything concerning panic attacks and medication from my phone on the internet and became really more anxious.My mother has freaked out seeing me like that.I don't think that I will ever overcome this.I'm so jealous of people fighting it back without meds.My psychiatrist prescribed me Lexapro/Cipralex and today is my fourth day and I feel such a dump and useless.I must add that part of my depression before the attacks was my weight that had changed due to hypothyroidism, and affected my relationship.After my surgery I managed to lose 15 kg,but still need to lose 20.I don't know how am I going to do this as I've seen most people have gained weight while on Ad's. Please, I need some support and friends now. Sorry,for the long thread.

[starlight78]

Hi Penny, sorry that you are having such a tough time. I'm sure you will find this site helpful. Hugs and best wishes x

[loopylu86]

Hi Penny! I can completely relate. I sufered panic and anxiety 4 years ago for about 9 months before I finally seeked help and was put on ecitalopram 10mg. I don't remember much else because the next four years I spent living my life and had no panic or anxiety. When it goes..It goes. 3rd August this year my nan passed away..this was the final straw for me in a long string of emotional events that collectively took their toll on me. I wasn't happy and was so stressed anyway and this huge loss just tipped meover the edge. Three days after my nans passing..the funeral director arrived at my grandads and my anxiety was huge..I felt like I wasn't even in the room. I could feel panic rising and that awful impending doom and drove straight home where I had the biggest panic attack of my life. I was sat on the edge of my bed frozen in fear to the point where I threw up in my lap. In that moment I genuinally believed that I was about to die. As soon as the attack passed that was it...I lead in bed googling and back to the exact place I had been in 4 ears previously..Such a familiar place yet at the same time alien. I tried to remember how I had overcame it the first time and went back to work,I figured that I needed a distraction and that back into a routine is what I needed and it would pass..however...I managed a week of work in a constant state of depersonalisation and was dreading the funeral. I even returned after the funeral and tis one day I became so distant from my surroundings that I just cried at my desk (a first in the 2 years I have worked there) I got signed off work and am currently near the end of week 3. I was prescribed 10mg Citalopram this time and adv work that I will be off while I start them due to side effects. The first week I spent all my time in bed. Unable to concentrate or distract,unable to move and had the beginnings of about 100 attacks a day. Like a constant knot in my belly. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even walk downstairs to do anything because walking didn't feel natural to me. I am now on day 20 and now make an ttempt to leave the house everyday and it IS getting better. I find whenever I feel the stirrings of anxiety to go with it and try not to fear it. It really is just a constant mind battle but eventually it will get easier!!!

---------- Post added at 09:35 ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 ----------

I am also always constantly battling my weight. At this present moment..I am not even worrying about it...although I am aware that it is a large (no pun intended) contributer to my self esteem/negative thinking. I lost 12lb the first week I was off because food made me gag. I have gained about 3lb back as I am eating again. My appetite returning was a good thing for me. Despite being about 2 stone overweight. It was a sign I was on the mend!

[pennypanic]

Oh dear,you are having such a hard time also...I just thank god that my parents accepted me at their home.I have my own place,but returning back there atm makes me more sad since I was living for almost 4 years with my bf,who decided to move to London this October (we live in Greece) and practically lost my support. :mad: He currently lives with his parents now,he went for a visit during holidays and I haven't seen him for a 1 1/2 month.Now he asked me to come back until the day that he is living,but I think that this will lead me again worse and feeling more alone after he leaves.I haven't told him about meds too,because he thinks that this is all in my mind and I'm provoking it so I better solve it on my own. I've been so tired and had so much patience the past year (had problems with work,health,relationship) that I barely can try to overcome my panic attacks. Of course it has been a week and a half that I haven't had one,but I'm not going out and taking xanax as well. My focus is a mess can't do anything atm,hope I'll be better soon.
Do you think ctb combined with meds can have some results?Or will the meds affect my worries and concerns?I wish I had some minor panic attacks but mine exhausted me cause they lasted 3-4 hours and made me so scared,I could barely walk and had to lie down somewhere immediately and visit the toilet as well so that's how I became agoraphobic, because I am afraid of having this outside and alone. I am not afraid when I am with friends,but being alone scares me.