Abnormal smear! Scared!

[PurpleRain]

Hello,

I had an abnormal smear test result today and im so scared.
I just cant think straight and wanted to post on here as I thought people could really understand my anxieties here.Ive spoken to a close friend about it today, she was lovely and tried to reassure me but unless you live with health anxieties you cant really understand the fear, ive felt pain in my lower back and stomach all day today, usually i eventually convince myself its down to my anxieties and stress but they are just magnified today!

This is my biggest health worry because my mother died of cervical cancer and her mother my grandmother also had it but my grandmother was luckily cured.
This is like my worst fear coming to life and the thoughts "beginning of the end" keep running through my head, I feel I just cant cope with this, I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Im trying so hard to look at the positives here such as they found borderline changes that could return to normal but I find this hard to accept with my family history, I just know eventually I will get it and now this is happening, its like the inevitable has finally happened.

I just want to have a hysterectomy to reduce my chances, I have two beautiful children already and couldn’t ask for anymore, maybe this is the option for me otherwise I will always be living in fear of developing cancer.

I’m so scared right now I just don’t know how im going to cope, im sorry to moan but I just feel so weak, scared and helpless at the moment.
I wonder if there is any point in trying to beat this panic and anxiety that i have to live with everyday now ive had this result.
Im so sorry for being so negative!

Caz x

[lass]

It is so understandable how you feel - even without health anxiety, anyone in your shoes would be worrying.

HOWEVER, try to be positive - they are only borderline changes and this is really common; as you say, they could return to normal and whatever happens, now this has been picked up, things will not be left to advance.

Have you spoken with your GP? I think normally they just suggest a recall in 6 months for borderline smears, but you can't put yourself through a 6 months wait! You really need to speak to someone as soon as possible to find out what happens next, what your options are, etc.

I so feel for you, this is exactly the thing that all of us fear happening, and you are perfectly normal in the way that you are feeling. I'm sorry I can't do anything constructive to help but if you want to chat or anything, I'm always around!

Take care,
Caroline xx

[twiglet]

Hi ya Caz,
i know its hard to do but you got to try and think positive. not only for your own sake but for your two children. it might not be anything bad. have they given you a nother appointment? it maybe just a mix up with the results. dont give up, you cant let the anxiety beat you, sweetheart.
you'll be ok.
take care
love
twiglet

[reddevil]

Hi, do not worry.

My wife went last month, her results were abnormal.

My wife was worried and went back for a chat.

They said not to worry as next time they could be normal.

They do not take it serious until they do the test three times.

[Piglet]

Caz,

All us women would feel as you do at the moment but the test is there to pick up possible abnormal cells as quick as poss so that something can be done.

I have had at least 5 friends in the past 10 years have abnormal smears and all felt just as you do and all have gone on to be fine. A couple even had some minor treatment and are now just fine. In some ways whilst its obviously a good thing that the slightest possible potential problem is picked up it does create an unecessary degree of anxiety. Sometimes a test can even be 'off' because of the conditions it was taken under or the way it was stored were compromised.

I would tell your doctor exactly how you are feeling so they can either do a second test for you and moniter you in such a way as to lessen the anxiety of it.

I think a few of my friends had them done 3-6 monthly and one friend only ever had the one abnormal test before returning to normal.

Big hugs.

Piglet x

[tamla]

hi hun i just want to reasure you on this one i had my first obnormal smear test when i was 22 i am now 41 i remember my doctor telling me i had cancer cells which was borderline you could imagine how i took that news at 22 my whole world came crushing down anyway i was sent to have lazer treatment which is very painless iwas so amased to find the waiting room so packed with women with the same problem the funny thing was my next door neighbour was there waiting to go in i asked her why didnt she tell me she was goin there she looked at me and said i could ask you the same we both laughed and said its something u dont go tellin the neighbours about.anyway hun ive had it three times now and honestly there is nothink to get yourself worked up about please trust me you will be very suprised how many of us have an obnormal smear.i dont want to bore you but my sisterenlaw had her smear results
she wouldnt listen to me she new best and of course hers had to be worse she had the big c but of course she.s fine so hun please dont worry you,ll be fine honest feel free to ask me any questions love tamla

t motown

[jodie]

hi caz

i have had problems with my smears for 9 years every time i got one done it came back with no result they couldnt get cells etc.
then they sent me to a clinic were they did tests and sead i had cin 1 firs stages of cells going wrong anyway as they were looking he just burnt them away and that was that he told me not to wory and i had a test don 6 months it was fine and then another 6 months and agane that was fine i am going in a few weeks for a follow up so i do know how your feeling but i am sure everything will be ok its your anxiety that is the hard bit as it makes us blow things up to be worse than they are .

pm me if you need to love jodie x

[giddy]

Hi there
Please try not to worry, abnormal smears are so common. I had one about 5 years ago and ended up having the cells removed. I now have a smear annually, though I think after this year I go back to every 3 years. Chances are your cells will revert to normal, if not they can be removed quickly and easily and you shouldn't have any problems again.
Take care
love Helen

[PurpleRain]

Hi again,

Thank you to everybody for your kind words! You're all so great! :D

I had a long chat with a good friend this evening and we wrote down all the positives ive really got to try and focus on these.

If there are any problems then hopefully they've been found early enough to be treated successfully, Ive a few friends who have had abnormal smears, one of them had some laser treatment after they found some cancer cells and she is just fine now because they found it early enough, its just my family history and the pains i feel that keep playing on my mind......but must remember the positives!

Im hoping to see my GP tomorrow, i have to wait six months until another smear to find out (fingers crossed) if the cells have returned to normal, its just such a long wait ill have a chat with my doc tomorrow and see what she advices!

Thanks everybody, i really do appreciate your understanding and help!

Caz x

[**whenwillthisend**]

hi caz i can totally sympathise with you im waiting for a smear result at the minute and the wait is making me more anxious, but like everyone has said the abnormal cells have been found in good time and in 6 months may have reverted to normal otherwise you will get treated so dont worry...do you know what i honestley think we give ourselves aches and pains in areas we are worried about, as i have been achey in that area for weeks now cos im worrying...
take care you will be fine

[jackie]

i had this exactly 10 years ago and had to have a colposcopy. it is so good that you are getting this checked. this only means that they have found abnormal cells that they are better getting rid off. these are not cancerous cells they have found but slightly abnormal ones that they are simply better off getting rid off just in caes

i have had a smear every year since then and all have been completely normal

remember that this is a precautionary measure and many people have abnormal smears . once again these cells are not cancerous they are just being extra extra safe in caes in 20 or more years time they might become so. this is a positive i promise

and if you have to get a colposcopy to get them removed which you may not . it is such a simple proceedure that is just like a smear almost

i hope this helps a bit

jackie

[PurpleRain]

Thank you both,

Your positivity means and helps so much so much, thank you.
I done the most stupid thing and googled cervical cancer this evening, i can usually stop myself but i guess im feel weaker right now...i wish i could somehow block all search engines from my pc lol.

I know what you mean whenwillthisend about giving ourselves the pain when we are worried about something, it always amazes me how powerful our thoughts can be! Im sure your test results will be fine, waiting can be the hardest part, thanks for your help!

Caz x

[mia0621]

Hi Purple Rain,

I think the worst thing I have done is Google. I found more frightening and confusing things there. I had an abnormal breast exam once. They found a mass. They watched the mass for a while but nothing changed. The last breast exam I had was normal. I do, however relate to your fear, because I had some extreme pelvic and lower abdominal pain. The doctors gave me a lot of tests to rule out cancer. I was terrified. All came back normal. The only thing they found were a couple of very small tumors in te endometrium. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life. They will probably just test periodically. A lot of positive tests are false too.

Mia

[EebyJeeby]

Hi Caz,

In the past, I had a couple of years when I had abnormal smears. Had 2 minor ops and a cone biopsy but am completely sorted now. My smears have been normal for the last 6 years!

I was on three monthly smears during that time, so you could ask for your next one in three months in order to keep your anxiety in check. Getting anxious gives you all sorts of aches and pains, so try not to concentrate on it too much. Above all, remember the power of positive thinking - your next smear might well be completely clear anyway!

Eeb x

[PurpleRain]

Hi Guys,

Thank you both, ive read up alot about cervical smears recently...trying to avoid the bad when i google!
I suppose if they do find anything then hopefully its found early enough for treatment, i still havnt been able to see my doctor yet, i just havnt felt up to leaving the house the past few days but anyway i'll get to see her soon, maybe she will know more about my results.

Its my family history that i cant stop worrying about, i think i would be able to cope better if i didnt have this playing on my mind, its really adding to the fear.I mean i lost my mother because of cervical cancer, its so hard to stay positive but i am trying so hard!

I am feeling every little twinge and thinking and fearing the worst and trying not to but concentrating so hard on it, probably making it feel worse than it really is but trying so hard not to...but its difficult. I suppose when we are suffering with anxiety our bodies are very sensitive and our thoughts so negative its no wonder that we fear the worst and our pains magnified!

Mia, im glad your results were fine and everything is ok for you! And Eeb, Im glad your smears have been all clear too since having the biopsy and yes im going to ask my doctor if i can have another test after three months.

Thank you both :D

Caz xx

[jackie]

purple rain like i said after a colposcopy from abnormal cells 10 years ago i have been clear ever since, i really think they are being ultra careful with you as you would want them to be, please try not to worry smears are performed for this very reason, to catch things early and before they even develop

its a positive and you are brave for keeping a check on this as i know it may have seemed easier through fear to have neglected it

good for you

jackie

[PurpleRain]

Hiya Jackie,

Thank-you again, im so happy for you that everything is clear, i do fear having smear tests and waiting for the results but i made a promise to my mum that i would be checked regularly, lets just hope its worth it!

The annoying thing is that every year i have worried so much about my results but for some reason i felt more positive they would be ok this time... now only to get bad results...god i cant win!...Maybe i shouldnt trust my instincts after all!

Thank you so much Jackie, i really appreciate your help! :D

Caz x

[angstsoup]

Hi Purple,

I can relate to all you have posted
A year or so ago ( my memory is sometimes a bit fuzzy no, not from my age LOL but anxiety) I got back an abnormal pap smear
I freaked but then again I tend to freak with a lot as I have health anxiety big time
Doc said probably nothing but he needed to see me every 6 mos.
I began using an internal estrogen cream and then all paps came back normal
I should have gone back already for my routine pap but I have been sidelined with two injured feet
You did not mention your age although I have heard of the abnormal paps occuring in both young and older women
Please know that you are not alone
Try and do not allow the anxiety especially the health anxiety to hold you hostage
You are fine and will be fine
Chin up

Hugs,

Soup

" I have developed a new philosophy.....I only dread one day at a time." Charlie Brown

[langlim]

hi there,

my god if only you were around when I had my abnormal smear over a year ago, I didn't have anyone to talk to.

My dad died of cancer 6 years ago so as soon as anything like "cancer" is mentioned I freak out.

In fact, when my doctor told me I had an abnormal smear result I had my 1st ever panic attack then and there, she ended up having to lie me down for 20minutes.

I automatically assumed I had cancer, which I didn't.

I had CIN III which was a very high count. They referred me to hospital for Colposcopy to confirm the result. It wasn't as bad as smear with it being CIN II. After two more weeks I went back in to hospital to have the cells removed. I was put under for having it done as I was very panicky.

Anyway after much worry all for nothing, its not cancer, I've had two perfectly normal smears since the cells were removed.

I have to have another in 6 months time, then 1 a year for the next 8 years.

Think yourself lucky anyway, at least if anything was to happen you know it they will always be keeping an eye on you. Cervical cancer can take upto 10 years to develop anyway, so as long as you keep up your regular smears you'll be fine.

Cervical cancer is very curable

And even if the result was CIN III which mine was it still doesn't mean it will go turn cancer, I could go the rest of my life with it staying the same, but that is something the doctors won't risk.

Please don't worry, your safe and the doctors are there for you to make you better and stop things before they happen.

I was so scared for months, especially my 1st follow up smear, i was so worried the cells had come back, but I've just had my 2nd smear result which is still normal.

If you eva wana chat please contact me at panglim@btinternet.com

regards
laura

[PurpleRain]

Thanks you two!!

Soup- My memory is also so fuzzy because of anxiety, your not alone on that one! It does work well remembering the bad though, i suppose thats not so surprising when thoughts can be so negative!!
Im 29 by the way, but im not sure what effect that has on my abnormal smear, i remember one of my friends having some laser treatment at only about 19 after an abnormal smear, but like you say it could occur in both younger and older women.
I havnt heard of any cream to apply after having an abnormal smear, i'll ask my doctor about that.
I do know that most cervical cancers are caused by a virus that men carry, im wondering if my last boyfriend carried the virus, i was with him last year for a few months and im wondering if he was carrying the virus because i had normal smear results before i was with him.
Anyway im happy everything is well for you!! Thank you!! :D

Laura- Thanks for your reply, and im so sorry to hear about your dad, i know how horrible it is to lose people to this cruel disease, i also fear cancer so much, it really is so difficult!
Im so pleased that things went well for you after your treatment and your last smear result was normal, must have been such a huge relief for you!
I really do have to stop myself googling...but you are right cervical cancer is preventable with regular smears...ive really got to try and focus on the positives, ive been making myself so ill recently and ive started googling again and looking in my medical books..really not doing myself any favours there!!

Thanks for your help Laura, i'll email you soon! :D

Thanks again!
Caz x

[nomorepanic]

Caz

I had an abormal smear many years ago now - I think it was about 9 years and it was at the height of my worst panicky times and then they told me I had to have a colposcopy to get it burnt out!

Well it was a horrid time going to the hospital as I was panicking like mad but knew I had to have it done.

Apart from being a bit humiliating as there were about 4 people in the room watching things going on it didn't hurt atall.

I was doing well until they asked if I wanted to see the camera on the screen and then I felt really ill and apparently went as white as a sheet!

Anyway, after that I had to go back for 2 more smears within 6 months and then was recalled for the next 5 years every year.

Now I am fine and back to having smears every 3 years.

It was worrying at the time but I knew that I had to do whatever they asked to give myself the best chances and I all clear now.

Good luck with everything.

Nicola

[strawberrie]

hi caz, im really sorry you are having all this worry. To save you googling, i just looked up about the family link in cervical cancer. Everything i have read said it is NOT hereditary.

I thought it might be reassuring for you to know that, as i spent years and years absolutely convinced my only future was breast cancer having lost my mum to it. However, after eventually plucking up the courage to look into it further, i found out that my risk is only very slightly increased if at all.

I think that when you have lost a close relative to cancer, or any illness, it is very easy to assume that the same will happen to you, but in reality, this is not the case.

You can see from all the replies you've had, that loads of people have had abnormal smears, but the reason they do smears is to make sure that they catch anything years before it might be a cause for worry.

I know how you feel because i always jump to the worst conclusion with health issues, but i hope that helps a bit.

take care,
mag xx

[langlim]

hi ya again, these abnormal smears can come at any age. I was 25 when I had my abnormal result. I was very unaware about it all, but until i started talking to people about it you wouldn't believe how many people have actually had abnormal results and had to have the cells removed. I never had any pain there at all but when told it was abnormal twinges started its all in the head! - Anyway a year on now 2 normal results and I'm all good.

CIN III (which I had) was a high count, not cancer, yours isn't that high is it - before I found this website, I knew nothing and felt very alone, sat on google looking for symptoms etc. And looking back now it was all for nothing and ifa result does come back abnormal again, I know it will never be Cancer, just think like that.

They will do it all very quickly, coz i had anxiety and panic they got me up the hospital and did it all very quickly prob within 3 weeks! If they aren't even doing it that quick then it is obviously not too serious or U'd be up the hospital now!

I really didn't know what would happen obviously its all new to you,
1, Colposcopy, they will put a solution on the cervix to show up the abnormal area, the doctor will draw on paper so when you go back they know the area being treated,
2, Appointment made while there, so go back and have cells removed within 2 weeks
3, Went back, depending if you are a nervous person or not, (which I am) they decided to put me to sleep while they did it, or they do it awake, I think it was better being asleep, I was under for 30 mins, woke up and it was all over.
4, Had bleeding (like a period) for about a week after.
5, all over and back 6 months later for a follow up smear.

Please don't worry, you'll look back in a years time and realise it was all for nothing!

I don't even think about it anymore! My worry now is that I have Ovarian Cancer - I know its silly, but thats health anxiety for you!

L
x

[**whenwillthisend**]

hi just wondered if anyone can help?
I had a smear done 5 weeks ago and called my docs yesterday as i havent heard anything, she said it normally takes a couple of weeks, so with it being 5 now she said usually if you havent heard in afew weeks everything is usually normal.....(sorry for waffling)

so today rang cytology dept at hospital and she said they had a backlog and are only just doing the week of 14 july....
my question is..are they only just analysing the smears (nearly 6 weeks after people had their smear) , or are the smears tested straight away, but the backlog is sending results out?

this has got me worried now, does that mean smears are left for weeks before being tested?
and there was me thinking to myself if anything was wrong i would have heard by now....
I dread the post coming every morning as im scared im going to get an abnormal smear result!

[abcd44]

HI caz, Just read your message. I have just recieved my smear result which was abnormal also. I have been frightened to death. But can i just say that we must remember that, smear testing is to prevent cancer cells from growing. Your smear is just letting you know that there are changes only, so they can prevent any cancer from forming. YOU DO NOT HAVE CANCER. It is just an earley warning. Saying that i know just how you feel. Allsorts of thoughts go through your mind, i just want you to know you are not on your own. I going to see my doctor tomorrow for reasurrance. Please do not worry. Gillian

[crunchie01]

hi

i had 2 abnormal smears that were borderline i then had 3 that were normal and i went back to having 3 years smears, it was 2 years between the abnormal and normal.

i didnt have HA when i had theses smears, but when all the jade goody stuff happened i started to think about it again. i went to see my gp who explained it all to me she said; that borderline changes are not normal but they are not abnormal either they are in the middle,it could be caused by many things, a bit of inflammation,discharge etc etc, and they watch to see if they return to normal which more often than not they do. i had had the mirena coil removed 2 month before my smear and she said it could have been related to that.

try not too worry hunny, i know thats easier said than done, but if you are worried go and speak to your gp. im absolutely sure you will be fine