Shepherd
23-09-12, 04:03
Hi all, names Dan, 24.
I've been dealing with anxiety for about 4.5 months now and I'm dealing with a lot of the "what ifs" and a constant fear of passing out and dying..
It all started back in April, and this may sound silly but, whatever...lol. I was setting up a new marine aquarium and all of the supplies I needed as well as decorations(living rock) had to be mail ordered. I was on a deadline and everything came in fine except the most important things, the living rock, needless to say, UPS had lost the 50lb box and the seller was very distant and uncooperative. It took them a week to find it and deliver it..however, in that week I somehow allowed myself to become extremely stressed, more so than ever before(over rocks!).
A day or two before they ended up found, I decided I was going to let it go, I sent a letter to the seller stating everything was ok, if they come great, if not just refund the money or send new rocks.
That same night, I was laying down watching a movie and I felt myself become nervous, I thought to myself, that's weird, what am I nervous about? All of a sudden my heart started racing and my breathing became shallow, I got up and started to pace back and forth, a few minutes later I felt like I was going to pass out. The sensation lasted a few seconds but scared the bleep out of me, I walked back to bed and went to sleep. These attacks happened once or twice a day for about 2 months, mostly at night.
Then, for about a month and a half, the attacks stopped, but I felt dizzy 24/7..all day and all night. There were a couple of instances where I woke up and felt like I was on a small raft in choppy waters. There were a few times where I could just be sitting down and all of a sudden I'd feel like I was going to faint.
The attacks came back about a month and a half ago, I was laying down watching YouTube, then felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, I ended up panicking and that brought the attacks back for a few days, but just as before, the attacks have now gone away and I just reel dizzy, heavy headed, off balance, weak in the knees..all the time.
I saw my doc last week after fearing that this could be due to some horrible heart disease, they gave me an EKG, doc said all good and my heart was strong. we talked about it some more and she decided to put me on 1mg of Ativan daily. When I got home I felt fine, i thought, thank god its not my heart. symptoms didn't come back until I started thinking about being dizzy, then boom, I'm dizzy again. I started the ativan at a half dose in the morning, noon and about an hour before bed which seemed to help, but not much, so I started taking the full dose at the same hours and still don't feel much different, still dizzy, off balance..maybe not so anxious though. Going back to the doc Thursday for blood test results and a follow up to the Ativan use.
I should also mention that i lost my father in June '11. He had a heart attack, passed out and died..while I watched and performed CPR on him to no avail. Would PTSD show up almost a year later?
All in all, I'm having a lot of fears about what if its not anxiety, what if this what if that. I keep telling myself that this didn't start with dizziness, it started with a panic attack after an extremely stressful week..but why the constant symptoms? Because I worry about feeling dizzy? I mean..my mind is on my symptoms almost all day, I know that has to be contributing..I'm also having a lot of flashback thoughts about my dad and what happened that night, which of course makes everything worse..oy.
I've been dealing with anxiety for about 4.5 months now and I'm dealing with a lot of the "what ifs" and a constant fear of passing out and dying..
It all started back in April, and this may sound silly but, whatever...lol. I was setting up a new marine aquarium and all of the supplies I needed as well as decorations(living rock) had to be mail ordered. I was on a deadline and everything came in fine except the most important things, the living rock, needless to say, UPS had lost the 50lb box and the seller was very distant and uncooperative. It took them a week to find it and deliver it..however, in that week I somehow allowed myself to become extremely stressed, more so than ever before(over rocks!).
A day or two before they ended up found, I decided I was going to let it go, I sent a letter to the seller stating everything was ok, if they come great, if not just refund the money or send new rocks.
That same night, I was laying down watching a movie and I felt myself become nervous, I thought to myself, that's weird, what am I nervous about? All of a sudden my heart started racing and my breathing became shallow, I got up and started to pace back and forth, a few minutes later I felt like I was going to pass out. The sensation lasted a few seconds but scared the bleep out of me, I walked back to bed and went to sleep. These attacks happened once or twice a day for about 2 months, mostly at night.
Then, for about a month and a half, the attacks stopped, but I felt dizzy 24/7..all day and all night. There were a couple of instances where I woke up and felt like I was on a small raft in choppy waters. There were a few times where I could just be sitting down and all of a sudden I'd feel like I was going to faint.
The attacks came back about a month and a half ago, I was laying down watching YouTube, then felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, I ended up panicking and that brought the attacks back for a few days, but just as before, the attacks have now gone away and I just reel dizzy, heavy headed, off balance, weak in the knees..all the time.
I saw my doc last week after fearing that this could be due to some horrible heart disease, they gave me an EKG, doc said all good and my heart was strong. we talked about it some more and she decided to put me on 1mg of Ativan daily. When I got home I felt fine, i thought, thank god its not my heart. symptoms didn't come back until I started thinking about being dizzy, then boom, I'm dizzy again. I started the ativan at a half dose in the morning, noon and about an hour before bed which seemed to help, but not much, so I started taking the full dose at the same hours and still don't feel much different, still dizzy, off balance..maybe not so anxious though. Going back to the doc Thursday for blood test results and a follow up to the Ativan use.
I should also mention that i lost my father in June '11. He had a heart attack, passed out and died..while I watched and performed CPR on him to no avail. Would PTSD show up almost a year later?
All in all, I'm having a lot of fears about what if its not anxiety, what if this what if that. I keep telling myself that this didn't start with dizziness, it started with a panic attack after an extremely stressful week..but why the constant symptoms? Because I worry about feeling dizzy? I mean..my mind is on my symptoms almost all day, I know that has to be contributing..I'm also having a lot of flashback thoughts about my dad and what happened that night, which of course makes everything worse..oy.