Questions...Maybe some answers?

[Shepherd]

Hi all, names Dan, 24.

I've been dealing with anxiety for about 4.5 months now and I'm dealing with a lot of the "what ifs" and a constant fear of passing out and dying..

It all started back in April, and this may sound silly but, whatever...lol. I was setting up a new marine aquarium and all of the supplies I needed as well as decorations(living rock) had to be mail ordered. I was on a deadline and everything came in fine except the most important things, the living rock, needless to say, UPS had lost the 50lb box and the seller was very distant and uncooperative. It took them a week to find it and deliver it..however, in that week I somehow allowed myself to become extremely stressed, more so than ever before(over rocks!).

A day or two before they ended up found, I decided I was going to let it go, I sent a letter to the seller stating everything was ok, if they come great, if not just refund the money or send new rocks.

That same night, I was laying down watching a movie and I felt myself become nervous, I thought to myself, that's weird, what am I nervous about? All of a sudden my heart started racing and my breathing became shallow, I got up and started to pace back and forth, a few minutes later I felt like I was going to pass out. The sensation lasted a few seconds but scared the bleep out of me, I walked back to bed and went to sleep. These attacks happened once or twice a day for about 2 months, mostly at night.

Then, for about a month and a half, the attacks stopped, but I felt dizzy 24/7..all day and all night. There were a couple of instances where I woke up and felt like I was on a small raft in choppy waters. There were a few times where I could just be sitting down and all of a sudden I'd feel like I was going to faint.

The attacks came back about a month and a half ago, I was laying down watching YouTube, then felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, I ended up panicking and that brought the attacks back for a few days, but just as before, the attacks have now gone away and I just reel dizzy, heavy headed, off balance, weak in the knees..all the time.

I saw my doc last week after fearing that this could be due to some horrible heart disease, they gave me an EKG, doc said all good and my heart was strong. we talked about it some more and she decided to put me on 1mg of Ativan daily. When I got home I felt fine, i thought, thank god its not my heart. symptoms didn't come back until I started thinking about being dizzy, then boom, I'm dizzy again. I started the ativan at a half dose in the morning, noon and about an hour before bed which seemed to help, but not much, so I started taking the full dose at the same hours and still don't feel much different, still dizzy, off balance..maybe not so anxious though. Going back to the doc Thursday for blood test results and a follow up to the Ativan use.


I should also mention that i lost my father in June '11. He had a heart attack, passed out and died..while I watched and performed CPR on him to no avail. Would PTSD show up almost a year later?

All in all, I'm having a lot of fears about what if its not anxiety, what if this what if that. I keep telling myself that this didn't start with dizziness, it started with a panic attack after an extremely stressful week..but why the constant symptoms? Because I worry about feeling dizzy? I mean..my mind is on my symptoms almost all day, I know that has to be contributing..I'm also having a lot of flashback thoughts about my dad and what happened that night, which of course makes everything worse..oy.

[paranoidtree]

I'm really sorry to hear you have been suffering and for losing your dad last year.

I don't know how PTSD works however what i've been experiencing is that a childhood trauma that wasn't dealt with at the time keeps coming back to my present moment everytime i have a new trauma (like an operation last year) so although it's Sept 2012 if i was to have something bad happen today all my past traumas would come colliding in (my counsellor explains this so much better than me!) so it could be that the worry about your current symptoms are heightened by a fear of what happened to your dad.

Have you spoken to your doctor about anxiety or perhaps to ask for referral for counselling (not sure how it works in the USA)

Hope you feel better soon. :hugs:

[Jules147]

This is so clearly anxiety. I would not class your responses to the death of your father as being PTSD but health anxiety triggered not just by his death but also its cause.

Your fears seem to revolve around your heart and you have said as much in your post above. Stressful situation (delayed aquarium rocks) + dark thoughts about your father's death = anxiety symptoms mimicking heart disease. A vicious cycle develops quickly as you become aware of your symptoms, you become afraid of them so they worsen and you are therefore more afraid of them and so on. Before you know it you are having a full-blown panic attack.

Occasionally a PA may seem to come from nowhere. In reality it doesn't. Your thought patterns will have caused the PA no matter how suddenly it takes hold of you. The amygdala in the brain works fast and responds to automatic thoughts before you even have time to formulate these thoughts into words. t is how we survived being preyed upon by sabre-toothed tigers. You don't think about running, fighting or freezing, you just do it.

The first thing you need to do is be fully aware of this process and cease to fear these attacks for they won't hurt you. It is just your fight/flight response mechanism sounding false alarms.

Secondly you need to practise slow, deeper breathing; in for 7, out for 11. Purse your lips during exhalation in order to slow down the rate as you breathe out through your mouth. Breathe in through your nose. Practise this both when you are relaxed and when anxious several times a day including when you are going a out your daily business like when walking across a parking lot or standing in line, for example. This style of breathing will become an unconscious habit with practice; at least the rhythm and depth of it.

When you feel a PA coming on, think to yourself, "so what, it isn't going to hurt me and I won't ACTUALLY pass out even though it seems that I might do." If you are not fearful of panic attacks they won't haunt you.

They won't hurt you anyway so there is nothing to fear.

[Shepherd]

Thank you for the well written, and well thought out response.

I would however say that my biggest problem right now are the constant symptoms, I haven't had an actual panic attack in about a month, I'm just dizzy/ lightheaded, heavy headed, weak legs making me feel off balance, slightly blurred vision..etc.

The dizziness is taking a toll on me, it makes me feel like I could fall over and die at any minute, and thinking that causes me to feel nervous all day long.

[Jules147]

The breathing exercises I mention will fix the dizziness. You are chronically hyperventilating + need to reset your body's unconscious breathing pattern.

The dizziness is caused by the shallow breathing; your blood is oxygen-rich and carbon dioxide-poor meaning that the oxygen is not being transported to your brain properly. Think of a fuel injector on a car that is taking too much air and not enough fuel because the ECU is faulty. The engine isn't being damaged but it is spluttering and there is a loss of performance.

[Annie0904]

Hi Dan, your story of how your anxiety started is quite similar to mine. Mine was with a bathroom suite that was supposed to be delivered and didn't turn up and they kept changing the delivery date. I was getting stressed about that especially went it turned up a month later on Christmas eve! Then my dad was taken into hospital the day after Christmas day (he is fine now). I became really anxious after that and thought that had been the trigger but my best friend had died 6 months before and I realised that was the main cause of my anxieties. 8 years later I keep having set backs with my anxiety and today I am going for my first grief counselling session (really nervous about it). I find the dizziness hard to cope with but the worst anxiety symptom for me is nausea. sending you :hugs: