WHATE IF ???

[Jenny]

My daughter and her partner are down in Newquay Cornwall till Sunday. She has just phoned to say they have arrived safe and sound, and she will phone again probably tomorrow, BUT she is going to switch her phone off for now because the battery is running low. PANIC !! I can't get in touch, what if I need to speak to her. My mind started to run a riot. 'Come on Jen calm down.' I know I won't need to call her so why does this happen. My husband has been invited to a Golfing day out and meal afterwards in Stoke, and I really want him to go and have a good day, but the thought of it is absolute dread. These are the sort of things that I am finding so difficult. I have only to see my sister and her husband drive off in the car, and I start to think 'where are they going' I can't get in touch with them. (she lives next door to me) I know all this is stupid, but I have this fear of being left all on my own and the what if I need my husband, daughter, sister enters my head. The funny thing is I do like my own company. I am going out more to many different places on my own and with others. I am sure if I could just conquer these horrible feelings of being totally left sometimes, I would be able to get on with my life much better.

Any ideas or exercies to help with any of this would be much appreciated. If any of you out there had these feelings What helped you?

Thank-you
Jenny xxxxxxx

[ceecee]

hi jenny sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.this is what us anxious people do isn,t it,worry about anything and everything!your daughter will be absoultley fine and her partner will take good care of her,i,ve got 2 girls aged 9 and 15 and i worry constantly about them, but at least i,m with them all the time i would imagine it gets worse as they get older as you can,t be with them 24 hours a day!just try and keep calm i,m seeing a cbt therapist and she recommends writing down my fears and thiughts and then try to rationalize them!!!hope this helps and just think to yourself it,s thursday now so its only 4 days until your daughter is back again!take care rachelxxx

[Jenny]

Thanks Rachel
I know she will be fine. I have calmed myself down now. Did some meditation. It also helped to put it down on paper, it got ot out of my system .

Thanks again.
Jenny xxxxxxxxxxxx

[ksmith]

Hi Jenny

I like you enjoy my own company yet panic when I am alone, even to the point of going to events I don't like, sometimes with people I don't like, just so that I won't be alone. I watch the neighbours to see who is in and who is out just in case I need someone and make family members keep their mobiles on 'just in case'. Never used to be like this!! I am alone at the moment typing this and use this website, chatroom etc as reassurance for times when I feel panicky. Also, I re-read passages in the Claire Weekes book as a comfort blanket and re-read certain passages I have found to be particularly reassuring. I make sure I have taken my vitamins, spray Bach Flower Remedy onto my tongue, (take my prozac) and then I also feel that I have done everything possible to make myself well (even if this is only an illusion, it does help).

I know its hard but you'll get through it.

Regards

Kay

[Jenny]

Hi Kay Thanks for that. I have two of Claire weeks books. Is there a certain passage that you read when you have these feelings of being left.

Jenny xxx

[ksmith]

Hi Jen

There's a bit in the back of the Essential Help for your Nerves book which relates to loneliness, not necessarily for those who live alone but also for those who are left on their own (eg., housewives etc). The bit I like is
'However, you are not quite as alone as you have been in the past. As I have mentioned, earlier understanding now stands beside you' ....... pg. 333
Understanding does stand beside us, particularly if we have taken on board the information provided here on this site and read some of the books that are out there to help.

Cheers

Kay x

[Jenny]

Hi Kay

I have just read pages 332 and 333 in 'Essential help for your nerves' and yes I agree with you about the understanding and knowledge. I also like the bit about 'A habit is harder to lose in loneliness, because one's talking is mainly to oneself, and nervously ill people are especially
poorly equipped to take their own advice.

So next time I will give myself a real good talking to !!
Thanks Kay

Best wishes
Jenny xxxxx