June83
24-09-12, 07:34
I am back in a cit hell at the moment. My drugs hadn't been working for me and my depression/anxiety was returning to how it was before I started. So on Thursday I was told to double my dose to 40mg. Friday morning was incredible I was as high as a kite, overflowing with a manic energy and then passing out at my desk in exhaustion. Anyway I got my hubby to pick me up from work when I started slurring my speech! Since then I have just slept and when I have been awake god the depression is smothering me. Regardless of my diet I am back comfort eating on masses of chocolate - and then i get even more depressed so I am back to trying to cut myself. And spend a lot of time fighting back the tears. The panic is a problem too I was damn near sobbing in the chippy the other day. The long wait to be served, the noise and the heat just started everything building inside. When the questions started - do you want salad/do you want cheese/do you want sauce I felt like I was being so threatened and interrogated I was shaking with panic and trying not to cry until I was outside!
Add to this the fact that I am constantly feeling hung over and oftern experiencing 'out of body' disjointedness - how long does it take to get used to the increased dosage? I have been through all this before when I started cit and it lasted for about a month. I am supposed to be at work today but after the appalling display at the chippy there is no way I could do my job at the moment - I would be in floods of tears after dealing with the first difficult customer! I cannot be at work and I am feeling to scared about being at home on my own - this is so infuriating! Do doctors ever sign you off for just the side effects of drugs? I think I will go back in a few days if there is no improvement as I can only self cert for a week. I just want this to be over!
Add to this the fact that I am constantly feeling hung over and oftern experiencing 'out of body' disjointedness - how long does it take to get used to the increased dosage? I have been through all this before when I started cit and it lasted for about a month. I am supposed to be at work today but after the appalling display at the chippy there is no way I could do my job at the moment - I would be in floods of tears after dealing with the first difficult customer! I cannot be at work and I am feeling to scared about being at home on my own - this is so infuriating! Do doctors ever sign you off for just the side effects of drugs? I think I will go back in a few days if there is no improvement as I can only self cert for a week. I just want this to be over!