I can't do this anymore

[Sue W]

Hi everyone, Im new to this site but not new to panic attacks and anxiety, ive had it for many years on and off but 4 weeks ago it came back with a vengance and it's taken over my life again I feel I can't cope.

When the panic takes over I feel faint like I'm going to pass out, dizzy, shaky, hot or cold, like I'm going to burst into tears, jerky movements, sick, diareah and a helpless doom takes over. I can't keep having these it is destroying my life and I'm worried and anxious all the time and all thoughts are just focused on myself and my illness.

Please can anyone give me any advice cause if these feelings carry on for much longer I dont know what I'm going to do. I'm 41 and have had enough :(

Thank you

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sue W

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[MRS STRESS ED]

I no exactly where your coming from,I:hugs:suffer the same as im sat writing to you Im dizzy sick my arms and legs are weak the list goes on my hearts like a drum banging so I no and its hard to cope ,I try to keep busy I read ,do puzzle books and relax with some music I no its hard but it can help it just takes time I hope you feel better soon xxxx

[ChrisScotland]

Hi Sue.Sorry to hear you're feeling like this.I know how you feel though.I'm the exact same, I've had enough of anxiety without it getting any better after so many years.

I wish I could give you some answers, but I haven't found any myself yet.

Welcome.I hope things pick-up soon for you.

[Annie0904]

I had really bad anxiety, then I was anxiety free for almost a year and it has come back again. I just keep telling myself that I have overcome it before so I can do it again. I feel better when I try to think more positive and make myself do things that I don't feel like doing to distract me. I hope you feel better soon :hugs:

[Supersal1984]

I read the sticky comment on anxiety and it had some tips on here to reduce anxiety, I hope you find it helpful too.

[Elle-Kay]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it, but I wanted to say welcome to the forums - I'm sure you'll find lots of support here. Try to remember that you are a strong person - anxiety and panic are signs of having been strong for too long, not signs of weakness.

[Laura123]

Hi, sorry you are having such a bad time right now, but you know what, you came through it before, and you will come through it again, your mind is just exhausted, you need to try and relax and let your mind rest, that's what causes us all of these hideous symptoms, exhaustion, it's your body's way if saying I have had enough and if you won't listen then I am going to scare you into listening. These forums have been good for me. I hope you find the same sense of relief I do from no more panic. Big hug xxx

[Sue W]

Thanks guys for sending a response, it's great to not feel alone although it doesn't lessen the symptoms, I've just booked an appointment at the doctors, I feel like I'm loosing the plot and want to curl up in bed and cry but I can't because I have a 3 year old daughter who is asking for my attention all the time and I feel so guilty cause it's all I can do to hold it together.

Laura, is that right that I'm exhausted which is why I'm having these attacks? And is this how a body reacts when they are exhausted. It makes sense cause I feel like my mind and body is so exhausted I could sleep for a week, I find everything hard to concentrate on, I have no memory anymore and no enthusiasm to do anything. It's a struggle at home when I'm looking after my daughter and it's a struggle at work as I feel lost and like I'm just putting on a brave face so not to show anyone how I'm really feeling.

[Laura123]

Sue it absolutely is! It's your body and mind telling you "I am knackered love" I believe the way to recovery is not to be scared of the feelings, allow them to be there, and if you can master this it will all gradually ease. Not saying I am there, far from it lol, in fact I am a wreck at the min too, but there is an end to it I know this because I have managed to get over it this way before. The mind can play done funny tricks on you when it's stressed and the great thing about here is that when you are in this state of mind and cannot think rationally, all these lovely people do it for you. Hang in there, see your gp, big hug xxxx

---------- Post added at 16:31 ---------- Previous post was at 16:29 ----------

I am reading "at last a life" by Paul David, it's helping me a lot today. Xx

[Sue W]

Hi Laura, that made me laugh when you said my body is saying 'I'm exhausted love' I could just imagine that! You are absolutely right about letting your feelings be there and to not be scared about them but I'm absolutely terrified of them. When I used to have them they stopped because I eventually just said to them 'come on do your worse' and even thought if I have one today I can practice more acceptance. But now, for some stupid reason I can't take my own advice, I can't accept them and certainly don't welcome them to practice with, I really don't understand why I can't get past this.

I'm continuously thinking about my health and worrying about every symptom I have. I'm forever at the doctors and am sure they think I'm a noucence, if that's how it's spelt.

How are you getting on, how's your day been today?

---------- Post added at 17:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:06 ----------

Ps thanks so much for the recommended book, I'm always reading to try and help myself do will have a look at that one. A favorite of mine is by dr Claire weeks - self help for your nerves xx

[Laura123]

I am better now, had a shaky start this morning because I was worried sick about going to the hairdressers tomorrow, cancelled my appointment because I am such a big woose lol but feel better, I have to drive 30 mins there and back and I have had vertigo for about 4 months so I just freak if I have to drive anywhere. It's funny how sometimes we can give the best advice and think so clearly for other folk but when it comes to helping ourselves we just turn to jelly, you have to laugh I suppose :) I am always reading too, but I think I am looking for a quick answer and I believe there is not a quick fix, think how gradually you got worse and worse, only makes sense that you will gradually get better. It's a cruel and horrible thing to go through but just keep it in your head "it's just feelings" and we can cope with them. Go me, I am almost convinced, are you lol xx

---------- Post added at 18:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:58 ----------

I think my doctor takes a Valium before I go in I swear it, and I too feel like a right plum Cos I am always there for one thing or another, some if my illnesses are real sometimes too lol, but it's her job to help me and not judge me and I pay for the right to make her life a misery so that's what I will do. :) x

[Sue W]

Your funny lol but talk a lot of sense too and like you I find I'm great at giving advise but not listening to it myself! I'm worried about taking my daughter swimming tomorrow cause every time I go I have a panic attack, I've decided not to go cause I'm feeling particularly rubbish today/tonight. Intact I'm going to bed cause my head is killing me so going to try and get a decent nights sleep. Saw the doc today and he is going to do a blood test for lots of things to put my mind at rest and he also wants me to up my dose of tablets to 20mg cause I've been on 10mg for years and he thinks it will help to get me over this hurdle and then to come down to 10mg after Christmas.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Night xx

[Laura123]

That's a good thing then, perhaps a change in meds will help, what are you on? Don't worry about letting your daughter down with swimming, in my experience there is always a suitable bribe when you just can't do the thing they really want, I was supposed to go swimming with my 2 last week and couldn't cope with it so we ended up at the park with ice cream instead. X

[Sue W]

Im on citolapram, been on meds for years, all different ones but this one for a long time. Don't really want to up the dose cause was hoping to come off them not increase them so bit disappointed really. Swimming was a lesson which already paid for so feel bit guilty she's not getting her lesson. She doesn't seem that keen on the lessons anyway, she sits on the side crying some of time :( are you on any meds? Xx

[Stormsky]

Hi, Anx does seem to come back stronger...I've felt everything you are, more than once over the years! I took meds for 10yrs but don't think they helped me.infact in some ways made me worse.. I stopped them over a year ago now...and battle on every day...but glad to be off them...it's good you have your daughter to keep you focused on, we all need a reason to just get us up every day! Don't be afraid of panic attacks..it's the fear that keeps them alive, which I'm sure you know... I've always believed we have an attack and then we panic..as in you feel the heart racing,and other symptonms, and then we panic!