View Full Version : Dumped my girlfriend again UPDATE
Hi all,I am in such a state. met my girlfriend a year ago, and i keep finishing with her then regretting it, last time she said next time would be final, guess what i did it again, yesterday by text as she was driving to get her mum out of hospital miles away. I wanted to be with her on this trip but circumstances did not allow for this on my side, i was stressed out and angry that she left earlier than i thought(hospital fault not hers) so to stop myself being angry i said we where through, now she is holding me to this.
2 years ago i was on a course of Amitriptyline for severe depression and anxiety, she does not know this even now, could this be an underlying problem with my attitude towards her, i do love her very much as she does me that i know.
I broke down with my friend this morning explaining what happened and he said i have whats called tunnel vision, and agreed i was a prat.
Does anyone think i should tell her about this GAD?and the tablets i was on, Not even told my family this, it does seem that when i get insecure i cut it out to make it better but as soon as ive done that i regret it, i ask her to pop in later so i could explain this for 10 mins, but not sure if she will. and dont know where to start. wish i could turn the clock back 24 hours. any advise would be welcome thanks
gerry
Hello Gerry, I'm no expert but if you love each other, maybe honesty will win the day?
Dave
Thank you Dave777 i hope she gives me the time to do it, didnt want to wake up this morning i dreamt we made up, woke up happy for a few mins, drifted back did the same about 3 times, all this in the space of an hour.
If she gives me the time i think i will but up to now thought i was coping with it.
Thanks anyway
Gerry
Hi I think you should tell her the truth.I have been in situations where i have been forced to admit i have anxiety problems and have been suprised at the positive reaction people give when they know the problem. Good Luck kaz
thanks Kazzie but if this was your boyfriend who kept dumping you when things got a little heavy,its only been 3 times in over a year tho. would you listen and take him back
Gerry
I think you should be up front with her and tell everything, no one should have secrets, partners should be there for the bad times as well as the good. If she loves you she will help and stand by you, and hopefully forgive you.
Good luck
suzanne x
s shaw
its nice to get a female view on this, and i hope all these positive respones will happen, if she gives me the time then i will tell her, but she is ignoring my txt, i feel as tho im hassleing her now, espeicially as she is with her mum, perhaps i should give her breathing space, but a simple yes or no would have done for me, feeling right now hearing nothing is making my anxiety worse.
Thanks
gerry
sophieunderscore
03-08-06, 14:34
I think you should definately tell her - if you want this to be a long term relationship then you need to be honest - if she can't cope with it and isn't willing to support you then she isn't the right girl for you. Don't be embaressed by your problems. I'd be relieved more than anything, she may be inturpreting the way your acting as something completely different than it is, telling her it's anxiety could actually help the relationship :)
Sorry for rambling - I've been in this sort of situation myself
wow theres a new aspect, never thought of that one, or i could be mis-interpretting her as well, thamks for that one. does anyone think i should let her cool off, i must have appeared very persistant especially as she tending her mum, writing this down is making me aware of what a complete and selfish prat ive been, I am not used to how women think i seem to get it all wrong, but when we are together its magic i am so chilled with her, but i will think of that interpretting thing.
Gerry
wow theres a new aspect, never thought of that one, or i could be mis-interpretting her as well, thamks for that one. does anyone think i should let her cool off, i must have appeared very persistant especially as she tending her mum, writing this down is making me aware of what a complete and selfish prat ive been, I am not used to how women think i seem to get it all wrong, but when we are together its magic i am so chilled with her, but i will think of that interpretting thing.
Gerry
One other thing, perhaps. It might be a good signal to her, and a worthwhile thing for you to do, if you could tell her you were doing something positive about the attitudinal problem you identified in your first post. For example, you can get some counselling on the NHS, at least if you had booked some you could tell her that. It would show you understand you have done something 'wrong', you are willing to address it, things might get better in future. It would suggest you are committed to a better relationship. Just a thought.
Very good luck.
Jason
Yes that thought had crossed my mind jason i will get onto that its obvious that i need help in some way or another, i am still awaiting a reply from her hopeing she will see me when she gets back, but still waiting, THanKS everyone for your advice i will keep you informed of the outcome, whatever happens of to mope now, and bury my head in the sand.
well she gave me the 15 mins tonight for which i told her everything, she said she could live with the anxiety and being insecure but it was a copout, i showed her the tablets, still she said it was a copout. what can i say im gutted but what helps is the fact that she did not love me enough which hurts even more, i will cope will have too, THanks for all the advice you gave, thats another thing i screwed up.
Gerry
Hi Gerry,
I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you. Anxiety is definately NOT a copout. It's so dificult to get that mesage across and for a non sufferer to understand though huh!
TRY TO BE STRONG,
Take Care,
Warm Wishes,
Pip's x
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