Gwentmal
24-09-12, 19:38
My story mirrors many others but as I have been asked about it many times in the chat room so here is a quick overview.
Words can frequently be used or overused - panic attack is a good one. Now if you have genuinely had a panic attack you will appreciate that at that particular point it is worse than dying. And I’m speaking from the point of view that I have had a cardiac arrest and still believe a panic attack is worse...........
As a small boy I’m mindful of happy days BUT also over cautious parenting seeing risk in any activity. Diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes I hit my teens and panic attacks presented frequently .. or were they diabetic “hypos”? By late teens I feared driving, cinemas etc. Like all anxiety stories there are contradictions – I went out and made a name in media and yet the anxiety state was ever present. Moving from radio into tv the panic attacks got the most of me and I managed to become freelance, subcontracting more and more work. I got married, have 2 children and once my business failed coupled with meningitis I had a “break down”. Medicated and sedated I lived in a constant panic state for 3 years. I watch a tv documentary on anxiety and contacted the Professor who shocked at my story visited me at home. He prescribed SEROXAT ( you can google many horror stories on this ante depressant), and within 6 weeks it got me out of the house on my own and slowly I built up a life again.
Did anxiety disappear? No BUT I learnt to manage it. I learnt to live with it as it is ever present. This state does on occasions turn to panic and they are still just as painful and horrific but I now know they are mind based – my mind playing games and frequently can be tracked back to a trigger. A few years ago I divorced – trigger. My children are both at uni – trigger. No bitterness, no turning back. I have spent thousands on every therapy under the sun, bought a massive library of books on control and nothing has changed. But I understand what day to day life is. I work and manage to control anxiety in the main. I drive within a distance I feel safe. I get out where I can. I’m on this group as I feel comfortable with speaking about this condition which impacts 24/7 on our lives. I wish I could say “it goes away”, “you will feel better”. I can’t. What I can say is that anxiety / panic cannot kill you. You will ride the panic attack and avoidance just makes the situation worse. And I use avoidance daily! For me cognitive therapy is the most useful input. Challenge your thoughts and look at your situation from another view point.
I’m on here to share my experience and help where I can. Based in South E Wales I’m happy to meet up and talk about you, myself or any subject related to anxiety. I hope that I will meet like minded people here that will not judge. I use Chat a good deal and my location Gwent has made me into Gwen! I don’t mind being Gwent but I’m really a fella called Malcolm. Finally I am very interested to talk with diabetics (type 1) as I believe there is a link --- a Hypo is clinically very similar to a panic attack and I would love to examine how the 2 can be confused in the mind.
I’m still on Seroxat many years later and had surgery to correct my heart.
Take care – good luck on your journey and feel free to message me in person.
Mal
Words can frequently be used or overused - panic attack is a good one. Now if you have genuinely had a panic attack you will appreciate that at that particular point it is worse than dying. And I’m speaking from the point of view that I have had a cardiac arrest and still believe a panic attack is worse...........
As a small boy I’m mindful of happy days BUT also over cautious parenting seeing risk in any activity. Diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes I hit my teens and panic attacks presented frequently .. or were they diabetic “hypos”? By late teens I feared driving, cinemas etc. Like all anxiety stories there are contradictions – I went out and made a name in media and yet the anxiety state was ever present. Moving from radio into tv the panic attacks got the most of me and I managed to become freelance, subcontracting more and more work. I got married, have 2 children and once my business failed coupled with meningitis I had a “break down”. Medicated and sedated I lived in a constant panic state for 3 years. I watch a tv documentary on anxiety and contacted the Professor who shocked at my story visited me at home. He prescribed SEROXAT ( you can google many horror stories on this ante depressant), and within 6 weeks it got me out of the house on my own and slowly I built up a life again.
Did anxiety disappear? No BUT I learnt to manage it. I learnt to live with it as it is ever present. This state does on occasions turn to panic and they are still just as painful and horrific but I now know they are mind based – my mind playing games and frequently can be tracked back to a trigger. A few years ago I divorced – trigger. My children are both at uni – trigger. No bitterness, no turning back. I have spent thousands on every therapy under the sun, bought a massive library of books on control and nothing has changed. But I understand what day to day life is. I work and manage to control anxiety in the main. I drive within a distance I feel safe. I get out where I can. I’m on this group as I feel comfortable with speaking about this condition which impacts 24/7 on our lives. I wish I could say “it goes away”, “you will feel better”. I can’t. What I can say is that anxiety / panic cannot kill you. You will ride the panic attack and avoidance just makes the situation worse. And I use avoidance daily! For me cognitive therapy is the most useful input. Challenge your thoughts and look at your situation from another view point.
I’m on here to share my experience and help where I can. Based in South E Wales I’m happy to meet up and talk about you, myself or any subject related to anxiety. I hope that I will meet like minded people here that will not judge. I use Chat a good deal and my location Gwent has made me into Gwen! I don’t mind being Gwent but I’m really a fella called Malcolm. Finally I am very interested to talk with diabetics (type 1) as I believe there is a link --- a Hypo is clinically very similar to a panic attack and I would love to examine how the 2 can be confused in the mind.
I’m still on Seroxat many years later and had surgery to correct my heart.
Take care – good luck on your journey and feel free to message me in person.
Mal