nick-dudley
26-09-12, 03:12
hi, my names Nick, and i live in sunny(?) wales. I am 41 years old, have suffered on and off with panic and anxiety since the age of 11. i went for around 15 years since my bad episode, on a motorway, now I do everything I can to avoid them... makes a lot of long distance journeys fun i can tell you.. I have not spoken to many people about my anxiety, as i am not really a personal kind of person.
The real panics started up , well reared their ugly head from, nowhere.. had not really had any for years, had a dizzy one, and it physically shook me! me, a 6ft 18st male, butch as they come, reduced to a physical mess!. I was having a lot of stress at the time, at work, unsure job, wife being Ill from an at-that -time unknown condition, having to argue with the boss every month for my salary, the usual things.. Shortly after, i noticed, that during the day my voice would change and get hoarse, and my neck/throat would get tighter and tighter... well i thought the worst... well you do, dont you? looking back I can laugh now, but it was bad at the time.. very bad. It transpired it was a form of globus hystericus, this was 2009, and has not really left me since, i feel stupid , tight throat, more when i drive, feel compelled to keep touching it, and have for the last 18 months developed a wierd neck twitch too, which does on several occasions leave my neck muscles feeling worn out, as it does me, physically. There were a few contributing factors that i think may have made me anxious and panicky, in 1998 and 2006 i somehow picked up something called labyrinthitis, the only way i could describe this is " a long period of out of body experiences" and thats exactly what it felt like, living outside my body. i was unable to hold a normal conversation, and could just about function on a daily basis, it was all in a haze, seeming so unreal, and the darn dizziness that would start, like clockwork, at 11:22 to 11:25 every day... took a few months to recover, 5 months first time, and 14 months 2nd time, helped on with medication, that was in fact not helping, but enflaming the dizzy spells!
Thats enough for me for now, its 3 o'clock in the morning, and as much as i hate going to sleep I am tired.. and my neck muscles are that worn out today, i feel like my head is going to roll off, as i cant hold it up!
Lastly before I go, I was told about this group at the beginning of the year, by a dear friend to the 4x4 club i am a member of. I met the guy at the early part of the year, the guy had been through the mill with hospitals, and was very poorly.. still had time for a chat when i met him, and for some reason, he was that calming , i poured out all my problems and worries, he talked me down, and mentioned this forum to me. After i left his house to begin a 4 hour drive home, I felt that relaxed, i took the motorway all the way home, and on the way, we saw the most colourful bright beautiful rainbow.. silly i know, but i seemed to appreciate everything around me more! Sadly, the guy that Told me about this forum passed away not long after i met him, I never gave it a thought... Until today, when through the rain i again spotted a beautiful , bright colourful rainbow...
Thanks to the forum owners for having this group, and making me feel like i have somewhere to vent, and look up posts, to see if my symptoms match, or if i am dying!
Nick.:shades:
The real panics started up , well reared their ugly head from, nowhere.. had not really had any for years, had a dizzy one, and it physically shook me! me, a 6ft 18st male, butch as they come, reduced to a physical mess!. I was having a lot of stress at the time, at work, unsure job, wife being Ill from an at-that -time unknown condition, having to argue with the boss every month for my salary, the usual things.. Shortly after, i noticed, that during the day my voice would change and get hoarse, and my neck/throat would get tighter and tighter... well i thought the worst... well you do, dont you? looking back I can laugh now, but it was bad at the time.. very bad. It transpired it was a form of globus hystericus, this was 2009, and has not really left me since, i feel stupid , tight throat, more when i drive, feel compelled to keep touching it, and have for the last 18 months developed a wierd neck twitch too, which does on several occasions leave my neck muscles feeling worn out, as it does me, physically. There were a few contributing factors that i think may have made me anxious and panicky, in 1998 and 2006 i somehow picked up something called labyrinthitis, the only way i could describe this is " a long period of out of body experiences" and thats exactly what it felt like, living outside my body. i was unable to hold a normal conversation, and could just about function on a daily basis, it was all in a haze, seeming so unreal, and the darn dizziness that would start, like clockwork, at 11:22 to 11:25 every day... took a few months to recover, 5 months first time, and 14 months 2nd time, helped on with medication, that was in fact not helping, but enflaming the dizzy spells!
Thats enough for me for now, its 3 o'clock in the morning, and as much as i hate going to sleep I am tired.. and my neck muscles are that worn out today, i feel like my head is going to roll off, as i cant hold it up!
Lastly before I go, I was told about this group at the beginning of the year, by a dear friend to the 4x4 club i am a member of. I met the guy at the early part of the year, the guy had been through the mill with hospitals, and was very poorly.. still had time for a chat when i met him, and for some reason, he was that calming , i poured out all my problems and worries, he talked me down, and mentioned this forum to me. After i left his house to begin a 4 hour drive home, I felt that relaxed, i took the motorway all the way home, and on the way, we saw the most colourful bright beautiful rainbow.. silly i know, but i seemed to appreciate everything around me more! Sadly, the guy that Told me about this forum passed away not long after i met him, I never gave it a thought... Until today, when through the rain i again spotted a beautiful , bright colourful rainbow...
Thanks to the forum owners for having this group, and making me feel like i have somewhere to vent, and look up posts, to see if my symptoms match, or if i am dying!
Nick.:shades: