MoniqueLeah
26-09-12, 09:38
Hi! Im a 24yo from Broome Western Australia. I have had Anxiety and severe panic attacks my whole life, however i was told and led to believe that i was a drama-queen, overacting in situations where everyone else around me was succeeding. I felt alone, and tried every possible way through my youth to fit in. I tried everything from christianity to drug and alcohol abuse to make myself fit in to everyone's normal way of life. I hated allot of people. I hated that everyday they fit into the demographic of being 'normal' while i was outside, looking in, hating who i was. The voice inside me drove me close to insanity with its constant voice of negativity. Telling me I should always be afraid, always have my defenses up, because everyone in he world was against me, even my own family. Now im alot older, and i have been though alot of terrible things, and alot of incredably amazing things and i know im not alone.
I have only recently quit smoking weed everyday (since i was 19) and it seems this has acted as a natural supressor of my anxiety. I needed to stop. I was overweight, lazy and so tired all the time. I felt like my relationship was hanging by a thread so i stopped... suddenly all the anxietly and panic that i had suppressed for years came flooding out at once. I was phisically sick and panicky for days, untill i passed out in my shower. I was only out for a second, but i came to with my face on the shower floor and water in my mouth... scared the s**t out of me. To hospital i went, shaking, sweating vomiting and trying not to scream.
Fast forward 1 week and im sitting here on my computer, realising that i need to connect with others like me so i dont feel so alone anymore. I have a mental health plan in place and am currently on cipramil everyday and diazepam as needed. I constantly feel sick and my stomach is always sore and i have lost 11kg in 2 weeks. But everyday is a fraction better than the last. I understand im not actually phisically ill, its my mind (and the starting of the cipramil) and i am lucky to have a support network of people around me, that want to see me suceed. I love them all dearly. I hope that when i beat this, i can show others the way.
Im a friendly and happy person and would love to talk to anyone that just wants to talk, even about the weather! Im just glad that there are places like "NOMOREPANIC" that provides this kind refuge for us. Thankyou. from the bottom of my heart.
:noangel:
I have only recently quit smoking weed everyday (since i was 19) and it seems this has acted as a natural supressor of my anxiety. I needed to stop. I was overweight, lazy and so tired all the time. I felt like my relationship was hanging by a thread so i stopped... suddenly all the anxietly and panic that i had suppressed for years came flooding out at once. I was phisically sick and panicky for days, untill i passed out in my shower. I was only out for a second, but i came to with my face on the shower floor and water in my mouth... scared the s**t out of me. To hospital i went, shaking, sweating vomiting and trying not to scream.
Fast forward 1 week and im sitting here on my computer, realising that i need to connect with others like me so i dont feel so alone anymore. I have a mental health plan in place and am currently on cipramil everyday and diazepam as needed. I constantly feel sick and my stomach is always sore and i have lost 11kg in 2 weeks. But everyday is a fraction better than the last. I understand im not actually phisically ill, its my mind (and the starting of the cipramil) and i am lucky to have a support network of people around me, that want to see me suceed. I love them all dearly. I hope that when i beat this, i can show others the way.
Im a friendly and happy person and would love to talk to anyone that just wants to talk, even about the weather! Im just glad that there are places like "NOMOREPANIC" that provides this kind refuge for us. Thankyou. from the bottom of my heart.
:noangel: