Hi I'm Brigid

[Brigid]

OK so i'm Brigid and i have what could be considered at the moment crippling anxiety issues. I hadn't really given it the proper thought until quite recently. I have just escaped an oppressive relationship with my Narcissistic mother and I've been through two years of cancer with my lovely fiance (he's OK now yay:D) but i was shocked when i had a panic attack a little over 2 months ago in my local town shopping center and practically ran home, when i got through the door i was pretty hysterical, shaking, crying having trouble controlling my breathing......fairly typical panic attack so i'm told, but i did not know what the hell was going on, honestly i thought i was mad .

I've been unemployed for roughly four years, between caring for my physically and mentally messed up mum through, illnesses real and fake (some a good mix of both)and my fella with lymphoma i didn't have the chance to work. But recently i've been trying to get back to work unfortunately with little success, the anxiety is unbearable, it's like a wall is thrown up and i just can't do what is needed of me, i feel like an ineffective human being and that i'm letting myself and my fella down.
I'm gonna keep trying though and i hope reaching out to others to can be a part of my recovery.

[Annie0904]

You are not ineffective at all, you have been in a caring position for some time now and anxiety is not a weakness it is a sign of being strong for too long. Maybe counselling or Cognitive behaviour therapy would help you? I found it very helpful sending you :hugs:

[Brigid]

Thanks Annie, i just look around and think, "well everyone seems to be getting on with life.....why can't I?"
I can't help thinking maybe i should lower my expectations of life, you know like people as messed up as me are never gonna be 100% better, aim low and i won't be as disappointed. I was supposed to go to a pub shift tonight at 8pm but i just can't do it, i mean it's just slinging beers but when i think of trying i imagine screwing up in front of a whole pub full of people and that wall goes up.
I just want to be 'normal' or at least normalish......heavy on the ish :)

[nomorepanic]

Hi Brigid

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums, I'm sure you'll find plenty of help here. :)

I know what you mean when you say "well everyone seems to be getting on with life.....why can't I?" The thing is, you really don't know how other people are feeling. They could be struggling but they try to hide it or they don't tell others how they're feeling. I've recently come to realise that anxiety is a lot more common than many people think, it's just that it doesn't get talked about very much.

[Lissa101]

Hi B, also someone with a mum (physical and mental problems) and a boyf (bipolar) that dominates my life. It's very, very hard. The people you care about the most can't be
there for you. Guilt and a sense of responsibility make it hard to care for yourself.

I never thought of myself as having any kind of mental health issues or anxiety until it got so bad I couldn't ignore it.

You'll find lots of supportive people on here to help you through xxx