Em.ma
26-09-12, 23:08
about 4 months ago now i think this guy at work asked if id like to go out with him and another one of his mates ( a girl) i said yes and went she never turned up never found at why so we went to dinner had a few drinks in this bar and then went night clubbing ive never been and was completly out of it all night anyway i woke up the next morning next to him (dont need to explain that bit) well that night i thought did i feel anxious that night and i wasnt so i turned to him and drink as a "safety net" 2 weeks ago roughly now i drunk had a panic attack and now am scared to drink again and will not
ive only been drunk 3 or 4 times but had had small amounts of alcohol in one go
i got checked for stds and so did he and their was nothing
i finally felt like their was someone their for me to fall back on when i felt totally crap
he was/is just a crutch to fall back on when i feel bad and it just makes me forgot we're not together i think thats pretty clear i cant deal with that because i dont let anyone in because i cant trust- i was drunk, his hot lol and it hasnt stopped since then as much id like to let him in will he still want me at my worst when im crying and anxious etc... he knows but i dont think he gets it as he doesnt expiernece it. i just fear it cant and wont work
would he want me at my most worst and most vunerable like now :weep:
i fear he wouldnt be able to cope. it frustartes the hell out of him. the more i back away the more he comes looking for it . told him my parents were out last night and he came round unknowingly after work. im on holiday this week...
i do like him his a good person really i fear ill hurt him in a way im not this happy go lucky girl all the time ... however i always run back to him and that proberly confuses him all the more because i say no yet im their. many of times he has called me "confusing, frustrating etc." but then says he cant stay away
we sometimes work together
at one point i spent 4 weeks working with him in a room in the factory
just a rant really never spoken to anyone about it before
---------- Post added at 22:21 ---------- Previous post was at 22:13 ----------
ps if an admin feels this thread is better of in another section they can move it
dont know were to put it though lol x
---------- Post added at 23:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:21 ----------
i suppose the real question is how do ur boyfriends/girlfriends/wifes/husbands/parters etc
cope and deal with your anxiety/ocd/depression etc?
ive only been drunk 3 or 4 times but had had small amounts of alcohol in one go
i got checked for stds and so did he and their was nothing
i finally felt like their was someone their for me to fall back on when i felt totally crap
he was/is just a crutch to fall back on when i feel bad and it just makes me forgot we're not together i think thats pretty clear i cant deal with that because i dont let anyone in because i cant trust- i was drunk, his hot lol and it hasnt stopped since then as much id like to let him in will he still want me at my worst when im crying and anxious etc... he knows but i dont think he gets it as he doesnt expiernece it. i just fear it cant and wont work
would he want me at my most worst and most vunerable like now :weep:
i fear he wouldnt be able to cope. it frustartes the hell out of him. the more i back away the more he comes looking for it . told him my parents were out last night and he came round unknowingly after work. im on holiday this week...
i do like him his a good person really i fear ill hurt him in a way im not this happy go lucky girl all the time ... however i always run back to him and that proberly confuses him all the more because i say no yet im their. many of times he has called me "confusing, frustrating etc." but then says he cant stay away
we sometimes work together
at one point i spent 4 weeks working with him in a room in the factory
just a rant really never spoken to anyone about it before
---------- Post added at 22:21 ---------- Previous post was at 22:13 ----------
ps if an admin feels this thread is better of in another section they can move it
dont know were to put it though lol x
---------- Post added at 23:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:21 ----------
i suppose the real question is how do ur boyfriends/girlfriends/wifes/husbands/parters etc
cope and deal with your anxiety/ocd/depression etc?