Spikie
27-09-12, 11:51
Hi all
I have been ill this week, nothing serious, just a bad cold. Yesterday I got up and felt like I was in slow motion, there was no way I would have been able to work and certainly not at an acceptable level. Despite that it took me about half an hour of sitting there before I could bring myself to call in sick.
I had a minor panic attack and, after I'd had a sleep and felt a little better, I had a more prolonged and serious one. The idea that I have called in sick when I could, in theory, have done some sort of work, the idea that everyone at work is saying 'he's skiving' even though I wasn't, just the whole idea made me incredibly uneasy.
So today I felt better but far from well, but I have dragged myself into work. I am making pitifull progress with my work and am having to re-do everything as I am making mistakes everywhere. A rational mentally sound person would, I suspect, take tomorrow off ill if they felt like this (making my 5th day off in 2 years, the first 3 being the bottom of my citalopram withdrawal when I was a mess), but I feel by struggling i today I have made it so I can't do that.
So I am going to try and book a days off holiday, but at such short notice I suspect it will be refused, so then I HAVE to come in tomorrow or it looks like I'm having a sick day in place of a holiday.
Basically a stress! Say soothing things to me? Or even better, come sing 'Soft Kitty' to me to make me feel better. Or just sympathise, that always makes me feel a little better :)
I hate my irrational mind sometimes...
I have been ill this week, nothing serious, just a bad cold. Yesterday I got up and felt like I was in slow motion, there was no way I would have been able to work and certainly not at an acceptable level. Despite that it took me about half an hour of sitting there before I could bring myself to call in sick.
I had a minor panic attack and, after I'd had a sleep and felt a little better, I had a more prolonged and serious one. The idea that I have called in sick when I could, in theory, have done some sort of work, the idea that everyone at work is saying 'he's skiving' even though I wasn't, just the whole idea made me incredibly uneasy.
So today I felt better but far from well, but I have dragged myself into work. I am making pitifull progress with my work and am having to re-do everything as I am making mistakes everywhere. A rational mentally sound person would, I suspect, take tomorrow off ill if they felt like this (making my 5th day off in 2 years, the first 3 being the bottom of my citalopram withdrawal when I was a mess), but I feel by struggling i today I have made it so I can't do that.
So I am going to try and book a days off holiday, but at such short notice I suspect it will be refused, so then I HAVE to come in tomorrow or it looks like I'm having a sick day in place of a holiday.
Basically a stress! Say soothing things to me? Or even better, come sing 'Soft Kitty' to me to make me feel better. Or just sympathise, that always makes me feel a little better :)
I hate my irrational mind sometimes...