Anxiety at calling in sick

[Spikie]

Hi all

I have been ill this week, nothing serious, just a bad cold. Yesterday I got up and felt like I was in slow motion, there was no way I would have been able to work and certainly not at an acceptable level. Despite that it took me about half an hour of sitting there before I could bring myself to call in sick.

I had a minor panic attack and, after I'd had a sleep and felt a little better, I had a more prolonged and serious one. The idea that I have called in sick when I could, in theory, have done some sort of work, the idea that everyone at work is saying 'he's skiving' even though I wasn't, just the whole idea made me incredibly uneasy.

So today I felt better but far from well, but I have dragged myself into work. I am making pitifull progress with my work and am having to re-do everything as I am making mistakes everywhere. A rational mentally sound person would, I suspect, take tomorrow off ill if they felt like this (making my 5th day off in 2 years, the first 3 being the bottom of my citalopram withdrawal when I was a mess), but I feel by struggling i today I have made it so I can't do that.

So I am going to try and book a days off holiday, but at such short notice I suspect it will be refused, so then I HAVE to come in tomorrow or it looks like I'm having a sick day in place of a holiday.

Basically a stress! Say soothing things to me? Or even better, come sing 'Soft Kitty' to me to make me feel better. Or just sympathise, that always makes me feel a little better :)

I hate my irrational mind sometimes...

[Laura123]

Aw poor soul, I know how you feel. Suppose you went and said to your boss, I need to go home, I shouldn't have cane back tiday, I feel awful? Then tomorrow you wouldn't feel so bad calling in sick? X

[Spikie]

Hehe, literally as I got to the bottom of your post that lass on the radio sang 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'! :)

I think the anxiety of going to the partner and saying 'can I go home please' would be too much for me at the moment. I think I will have to risk asking for holiday and, if it comes to it, calling in sick and chalking it up to 'well I did my best to use holiday instead of sick'.

But whether I will remain that rational by then...

Thank you for your kind words.

[Annie0904]

I know how you feel, I am off work with a fractured foot and feel so guilty for not being there :hugs:

[kittikat]

You see, that's how the anxious mind tricks us....you think everyone is going to say you are skiving and you feel guilty, so don't. You are obviously not well, your colleagues can see that. I agree with Laura, go home early today saying you feel awful and should have stayed at home in bed. That way, they probably won't expect to see you tomorrow anyway.

I won't sing to you, probably make you feel worse lol...but I hope you feel better soon. And don't be so hard on yourself.

Good luck, Kitti :)

[Laura123]

I think you are very brave going to work today, you faced your demons. Tomorrow is Friday, maybey you could manage to go to work then spend the weekend chilling and getting better? You can always talk to us tomorrow, we will help you get through the day :) I love how I am so brave for you but if it were me I would be locked in the bog sobbing lol x

[electrical_stormgirl]

The most important thing is to look after yourself. Your colleagues can see you're still not well so it won't be a huge suprise if you call in sick tomorrow and you clearly haven't got a history of skiving. At least you made the effort today. Take tomorrow off sick if you need to, then you can start afresh on Monday :)