PLEASE HELP, my mind is telling me to jump

[Arose]

Please can you read this and reassure me, i'm so scared.

I came off my prozac back in Feb, and within a month i went a bit nuts. I just got really depressed, suicidal (but no plans and didn't want to actually kill myself) and anxious. I was laying in bed sobbing and I don't know what came first, the severe panic attack or the voice in my mind telling me to jump out of my bedroom window. But I felt an urge to escape and the window was the first thing i could think of. I felt like i was possessed or something and I had to jump. I was terrified. My doctor put me back on 20mg prozac.

Fast forward to now, it has started again. The last few days i've been taken 40mg prozac which my doctor told me to do. I can't sleep at night because my bed directly faces my window. My mind keeps telling me to jump out of the window, which freaks me out and i get constant full blown panic attacks. I don't know if this is normal or not. I'm scared incase i'm schizo or something. I saw a psychiatric nurse recently and he did an assessment and told me that i'm hearing voices in my mind because of my high anxiety levels. He said not to worry, I wasn't schizophrenic or anything. But I don't know. Does anyone else have similar experiences?

[BobbyDog]

I was in a similar situation about 6 months ago and my doctor introduced Amitriptyline to the medication I was already taking, which is Mirtazapine; and that stopped the obsessive thoughts.
I would go back to your GP and explain that the symptoms have returned, it sounds like it could be OCD, I think they call it pure O, but not entirely sure as it is not something I have been diagnosed with.

[Elle-Kay]

Don't ever forget that you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

[hanshan]

Hi Arose,

Be reassured and not scared. Most of the people on this board have been where you are and come through it.

Get help from a psychiatrist, if that is not your current doctor.

If at any time you feel like self harm, reach out for help. Call an ambulance, go online - the help is there.

Take care.

Hanshan

[Lissa101]

Arose, this is very normal with severe anxiety. Many people on here will have had strange urges when their anxiety peaks. No-one ever acts on it. In fact I bet anxious people are the most boring around because we're so constantly worried about acting 'normal' that we never do anything out of the ordinary.

Try and change your focus from your thoughts to the root cause of your anxiety.

[kt79]

Oh bless you, you sound like your going through a really bad time of it. It sounds to me like bad intrusive thoughts , i would suggest telling your doctor so they can give you the reassurance you need. I get them and it really helped me hearing my doctor saying your not mad! ha ha ha. I am currently on week 2 of citilapram and my anxiety is bad at the moment but that is the norm with any SSRI's so actually how your feeling is completely normal. :)

[Stormsky]

Intrusive thoughts are just that, thoughts, not actions.... I used to have them every time I picked up a kitchen knife...scared me to death....but. I didn't want to die! So I stopped being afraid of the thoughts. It's the fear of the thought that keeps them coming.... When you get them, just say, I'm not interested, I want to live, so your a false thought caused by my Anx...as soon as you give these thoughts no power, they do go away.

[Paul H]

Hello Arose

You're not schizo. Neither are you, necessarily, OCD. You simply have an intrusive thought which happens to everybody at some stage. I'll put my hand up and say that I sometimes have the most horrible thoughts pop into my mind. The trick is to accept them for what they are - mere thoughts which everybody experiences from time to time.

Stormsky's advice is sound. You might also try giving the voice a name and saying something along the lines of "hello again john. I know your game" - treating it like a mischievious child rather than as something to be feared.

Another technique is to repeat what the voice says in a ridiculous voice - aloud or in your head as you like - which again reduces its power. Play with the voice itself - heliumising its tone or making it sound like mickey mouse etc.

You mention in your post that the bed faces the window. Sleep with your head at the opposite end. If you've spent a few nights establishing an unpleasant routine then change it. Sleep facing the other way. Change the way and order in which you brush your teeth, get undressed, get into bed. Break this routine.

If and when the thoughts next become problematic try the following breathing technique at the same time as following the other suggestions:

Gently push out your tummy to the count of three. You will automatically inhale as you do this. Do so through the nose. Hold the breath to a count of three and then exhale to the count of six - through the mouth. Repeat until it works. It does and will. Actually, begin this breathing exercise as soon as you hit the hay, because you'll probably be going to bed worrying that the same thing will happen tonight. Go to bed telling yourself that you now have the tools to beat this thing and defy it to try to bother you. Take control before the voice appears. Dare it to try to worry you. Once you have it licked then imagine yourself doing something you enjoy whilst carrying on with the breathing. If the voice intrudes again then don't react, simply acknowledge it and continue with whatever it is you're doing in your mind. Sleep well.

Once you have it beaten about a bit and you've mastered the anger and fear which the voice evokes it will diminish in frequency. You'll be able to merely observe the voice in a calm manner and brush it away.

Do mention this to your doctor when you next visit. I expect, however, that you’ll be able to say that “I had a problem with… but I learned how to deal with it.”

Best wishes

Paul

[Arose]

Thank you to everyone. I slept sound last night and no panic attacks since yesterday morning. I'm so happy!

[Paul H]

:yesyes:

Good work!

[Edward_1980]

I'm delighted that you slept last night :-)