over analysis

[beastman1103]

hi

not too sure whats wrong with me - i have been to docs who spent 5 mins and then told me i was anxious and gave me diazepam and cit

i have a really analytical job and tend to think in a specific way - this can be either analysing existing problems or interpreting situations in avance before they become problems - this can be anything from staffing problems to IT problems. i have done this for over 17 years and become pretty good at seeing things people dont see and having solutions for all eventualities.

the problem is that when i have a compelling event in my personal life like job change or moving house this causes chaos. i see problems before they exist and look for answers - this spirals out of control and gets ridiculous. Once i have overcame a particular problem (which may have been not as bad as i thought) i fixate on something else.

the most recent stresser has been moving house, i need to move house
and have had problems selling etc (sold in 1 day but had building standards problems) once these problems were resolved i then had other problems and am now fixating on things like mortgages and even a tree thats in my garden (i know it sounds ridiculous). Cant stop these thoughts from snowballing and getting worse.

Physically i have dropped nearly 2 stone in 3 weeks, not eating not sleeping, being sick, tremors, irritation, feel out of body sometimes

havent had the courage to use the cit as i looked at the side effects and have convinced myself that i will get them all. i will visit doc again tomorrow and will most likely ask for CBT - i am able to keep working and dont notice too much of a dip in my performance but i know i am not the same

i have good family life and am able to get some perspective from that but
theres only so many times someone can say 'nobodys died - chin up' to me

unfortunately not moving is not an option for me - hope i can get better soon - was tempted to use the cit before coming on here - even looked at the box

thanks

[Annie0904]

Moving house is a very stressful time and can easily set off anxiety symptoms. That is a good idea to ask for CBT, it has certainly helped me. I am also doing the CBT4panic which there is a link to on this site. I hope you start to feel better soon...Think positive :)

[beastman1103]

thanks Annie

i know i have a lot to be positive about just cant seem to help fixating on things - jumping from one thing to another and then getting lower and lower. i have seen a huge change in myself over the last four weeks. i have read some of the posts on here and feel the state i have got myself into is ridiculous in comparison to some others peoples issues.

send my heart out to others who are working their way through their issues and what they have had to deal with

[Annie0904]

I know it isn't easy, but don't think your problems are minor compared to others...I was awake all night anxious about if I would be able to work the new touch screen phone I am getting next week! When you are anxious, even the slightest little thing can make you feel worse (and things always seem worse for me in the middle of the night!)

[Anxious_gal]

I think CBT might help, good luck with that.
From what you said it does sound at least like stress.

[beastman1103]

thanks for your response

hopefully the doctor will help tomorrow - not sure about the differences between stress and anxiety. Hopefully the doctor will agree to the cbt as i dont think this will go away. physical symptoms not great i dont get panick attacks but just been sick - must not be a good day

still so confused and then up and down - fed up with bouncing from one problem to another and trying to solve them before they arrive

wish it was tomorrow but do feel humble in this forum

wish i could help other people

[NoPoet]

Grr, why do doctors always seem to be unhelpful morons? It's not like they're working for minimum wage, some of them are on 100K, they could at least be in a good mood about it. Maybe "people skills" should be taught at doctor college instead of the less-useful "crap handwriting training". It sounds stupidly obvious that they should do this, so therefore they probably won't.

Definitely stand up for yourself on this one. I think CBT will help as the symptoms you describe seem debilitating, so they need to be dealt with.

[beastman1103]

couldnt agree more with your view on the docs

unfortunatley i had a locum and it was their first day and first appointment
suppose i was a pretty bad start. I had no idea what was wrong with me but she kept asking about depression - had to explain that i am perfectly happy with my life, marriage kids etc but just that i cant get things out of my head and keep jumping from problem to problem about the house move - had this before when i changed job and it lasted 6 months.

One minute im fine then next minute im not - very bizarre - is helping posting on this forum and speaking with family - think it gets much worse when im on my own - was almost reaching for the cit at 8pm but resisted
- still worried about those side affects -

going to read your cit survival guide now :D

[beastman1103]

well day didnt get off to a good start

went to docs and explained where i was at - after 15 minutes and hearing about how they had moved 3 times and you worry about breaking things i knew it wasnt going to end successfully

tried to explain that i an not anxious about normal stuff like breaking ornaments but that i am anxious about everything and jump from one thing to another. Had convinced myself that i had sold my home and wouldnt have anywhere to go until i got a mortgage (which i have convinced myself that i wouldnt get)

anyways end result was i got a prescription for more CIT which i explained i was too anxious about the side effects to take - but i spose it got me out of the office

day then started to get better - phoned lawyers and was assured that i havent infact sold anything as i havent signed anything (silly eh) and that everything is on hold until i get my mortgage offer formally

day then got slightly worse when i phoned mortgage advisor who couldnt talk to me and said they would call me back. Of course they didnt phone me back which made me more anxious (do they know something i dont) -so texted and phoned and got no response - definately made me worse

went into work - had a meeting - felt like i was on a magic cloud somewhere - occassionally coming back to earth for a comment - hopefully a valid one

spoke to my boss after meeting who was fantastic - actually offerred that i could live with them if i had infact sold my house - which i had started to convince myself again

got a leaflet and referred myself to employee councilling service - made me feel better and then worse when i found out its not until end october

went home, felt bad, spoke to my sis who reassured me i am not homeless - felt better - ate some dinner (big step forward) and took first inositol tablet. Feeling good just now - no intrusive thoughts and know i havent sold my house and am not going to be homeless - feel stupid for convincing myself otherwise - wonder what lawyer thinks - just remembered that i went to kfc for lunch (again big step forward) - cant remember if i was on my cloud at the time though :D

[beastman1103]

had a bit of a strange day today - up and down a bit

started off badly - struggled to get out of bed (very strange for me) and was then told to give myself a shake - took this badly - thought it was referring to how i was feeling but just found out this evening that it actually referred to me getting up

took 650mg of inositol - felt a bit better, pretty cloudy and something going on with my vision - some dark spots at the top - cant remember being too anxious early in the morning but got email from bank saying my mortgage progressing and saying that they are comissioning survey (in scotland just means they want to see home report) - definatly set me off - spoke to mortage advisor who advised this was a good sign and that we are nearly there - we indeed. He the proceeded to try and sell me life insurance - yeah great timing dude

got home at lunch ate soup - took inositol - went back to work - had meeting but cant remember much about it - came home - other half wasnt happy as i forgot to mention how good her hair looked - dammit - should have noticed

feeling bit better again after third tablet and reading some of the stuff on forum

[Meewah]

This all sounds rather normal for me. Anxiety only becomes a problem when its a problem. If that makes sense. You sound Like me, I am in IT. Examining a fault is my job diagnosing and thinking logically about how to cure it. The problem is when you feel different or you have some strange symptom you almost always want to examine it and solve the problem. This is when it becomes the problem because life and the human body is not in our control and sometimes we just have to put our mind at rest that it is just anxiety and stop fighting the symptoms. Stop documenting them. We moved to the other side of the country and still rent our original house which would not sell. I remember feeling on the cloud and soon realised that this is your bodies way of removing you from too much anxiety. It felt good and what I remember about it were not that anxiety provoking as at that point I felt that doom feeling and felt that everthing was going to end and I was going to die . Strange thing was that everything in life becomes a little less stressing and important and all you can focus on is your symptoms. That was three years ago now, still here, still suffer with anxiety but I have made a little room for it to play and dance. We are born worriers and that is it. Our minds were designed for bigger things. When you get to the stage of accepting the symptoms you will feel a lot better.

Take Care
Mee

[beastman1103]

many thanks for the reply and i think you are spot on

i have done a lot of self examination over the last few days and can definately say that a big factor is that i am not in control. Problem with building and planning and i go and study the builng and planning regs for hours on end - problem with the lawers and i go read up on the legalities - get myself into a muddle when im actually paying people to do it for me - go figure

i wonder if in our industry and because of what we do are we predisposed to thinking in this way - have we taught ourselves to think in this way and then became good at what we do or is it becaused we think this way that it lends its self to this industry and is therefore why we are good ?

chicken or egg ?:shrug:

might be overanalysing again d'oh :yesyes: