Feel like a bad dad

[Fearthainn]

Not sure if this is the best forum to post this on...

I just feel so guilty lately. I love my daughter so much (she's 2 years old) yet a lot of the time it's so hard doing something with her. I know this sounds terrible but playing with her or going out with her feels like a chore sometimes. I don't have the energy and the good spirits most other fathers I meet seem to have. Other dads seem so creative with games etc, always laughing and just so relaxed about it all.

I feel like I just want to hug my daughter, but obviously she's more interested in exploring the world these days! It depresses me thinking about how quickly she grows up and about how I can't protect her from everything.

A few people have told me that I am a great father, but I honestly don't think I do anything special. Sure, I try my best, I want her to be happy and appreciate her just like she is, but I feel so tired and anxious most of the time and deep down think I really could do better. It makes me want to cry.

And ****ing depersonalisation doesn't help making me wonder if my family is really real. I am so afraid of giving in to these thoughts and just starting to believe them :weep:

Sorry for the long rant, not sure if anyone's felt something similar.

[notsogooduk]

I know exactly what you mean.

I often feel so low, exhausted and down that when my little one wants to play I feel I have no energy or patience to do anything.

I want nothing more than to make her the happiest child alive but I just don't feel like I can. I can't concentrate properly on playing with her or doing anything at home but it isn't so bad if we go out somewhere like swimming.

It is never that I don't want to play or do things I literally can't :(