Sparkle1984
01-10-12, 22:48
Over the last couple of weeks I've begun a CBT course and I've also started listening to mindfulness and rational thinking MP3s. I've found it very useful so far. I still get negative/anxious thoughts coming into my head, but I feel more able to respond to them in a rational way.
Here's an example. In the past, if I wasn't invited to a party or if I was left out of some event, I would think to myself "It must be because I'm so boring that no-one wants me around them!" I now realise this is an exaggeration as there are several people who do like to be with me.
This morning, as soon as I woke up, thoughts entered my head about an outing in January next year which I haven't been invited to. (It's being arranged by a member of my social club, but I don't see her as a close friend).
As I was waking up, I started to think about it more rationally - this woman said that she only has room for 10 people, whereas the club has about 80 members, so she couldn't possibly invite everyone. She has probably invited the people she feels closest to, and there are several people in the club that she has known for much longer than me. I then remember telling myself "I can't possibly be one of everyone's best friends, or one of everyone's favourite people. It's unrealistic to expect that and I would only be disappointed if I did. I can't expect to be perfect. In any case, I don't need to be everyone's best friend. I have a circle of close friends who do like to be with me, so I don't need to worry about the actions of people like this woman who aren't so close to me. If I do ever feel closer to this woman, maybe she will begin inviting me to her activities, but if not, it doesn't matter as I have plenty of other things to do and people to be with who make me happy."
Another situation I had today was that in our area the bus service changed about a week ago. They've changed pretty much everything - the timetables, the routes, the route numbers, the colour coding and even the bus stops! As you can imagine, there have been some teething problems. Tonight I had to wait longer than usual for my bus to arrive, but I saw multiple buses going to certain other destinations. I immediately started to think "What a mess this new system is! There are too many buses for some destinations and none for mine." Then I thought to myself "Oh well, this new system is only a week old, so I have to expect there will still be some problems with it while the drivers get used to all the changes. Hopefully things will settle down over the next few days and weeks." Then I didn't feel so bitter about having to stand and wait for a longer time than usual.
I do think I'm making progress at training my mind to think differently about things, and I hope this will continue. :) Has anyone else got any similar situations they'd like to share?
Here's an example. In the past, if I wasn't invited to a party or if I was left out of some event, I would think to myself "It must be because I'm so boring that no-one wants me around them!" I now realise this is an exaggeration as there are several people who do like to be with me.
This morning, as soon as I woke up, thoughts entered my head about an outing in January next year which I haven't been invited to. (It's being arranged by a member of my social club, but I don't see her as a close friend).
As I was waking up, I started to think about it more rationally - this woman said that she only has room for 10 people, whereas the club has about 80 members, so she couldn't possibly invite everyone. She has probably invited the people she feels closest to, and there are several people in the club that she has known for much longer than me. I then remember telling myself "I can't possibly be one of everyone's best friends, or one of everyone's favourite people. It's unrealistic to expect that and I would only be disappointed if I did. I can't expect to be perfect. In any case, I don't need to be everyone's best friend. I have a circle of close friends who do like to be with me, so I don't need to worry about the actions of people like this woman who aren't so close to me. If I do ever feel closer to this woman, maybe she will begin inviting me to her activities, but if not, it doesn't matter as I have plenty of other things to do and people to be with who make me happy."
Another situation I had today was that in our area the bus service changed about a week ago. They've changed pretty much everything - the timetables, the routes, the route numbers, the colour coding and even the bus stops! As you can imagine, there have been some teething problems. Tonight I had to wait longer than usual for my bus to arrive, but I saw multiple buses going to certain other destinations. I immediately started to think "What a mess this new system is! There are too many buses for some destinations and none for mine." Then I thought to myself "Oh well, this new system is only a week old, so I have to expect there will still be some problems with it while the drivers get used to all the changes. Hopefully things will settle down over the next few days and weeks." Then I didn't feel so bitter about having to stand and wait for a longer time than usual.
I do think I'm making progress at training my mind to think differently about things, and I hope this will continue. :) Has anyone else got any similar situations they'd like to share?