Just General Anxiety Today

[Edward_1980]

Today I have been plagued with a few issues which has my Anxiety levels shooting up. The main one of that my partner is now well and truly sick to death of my depressive moods and anxiety. Lately he seems really distant towards me and there really isn't any closeness between the two of us. It like I am waiting every second of the day for him to come out and say that we are finished and that he wants to leave me. It's gotten to the point today that I am anxious in his company and I have been trying today to do as much work as I can to distract me from the thoughts that are swimming around in my head. I am imagining the worst right now. Thoughts of being alone in the world if he leaves me are so daunting and terrible. I've been using my rescue spray all day to try and comfort myself, but I just can't settle today. I feel like I seriously need to escape this situation and I am panicking fairly bad right now. I can't even concentrate on the games.:weep:

[Stormsky]

Be careful what you wish for....so they say.... Believing he may leave, makes you act in a certain way yourself...which only makes it worse....
I see where he's coming from tho, I recall my hubby saying once that ever since he's known me I've been depressed, and made him think its cos he doesn't make me happy.. Not a nice feeling for them.....
You have to put you self in heir shoes once in a while....
If you love him, you need to make some effort to show it.... Sometimes it not all about us...

[Edward_1980]

I do make him feel loved. I have arranged a trip to the cinema tomorrow for his birthday to see his fave film. It's also why I aired my thoughts and concerns here because I didn't want to go upsetting him by making yet another situation about me. I do make him feel loved and I love very much as well.

[Stormsky]

That's good then.
So you need to just work on being happier and calmer around him...as you say he's sick of Anx and depression.

[Edward_1980]

He is sick of it. I know that. That's why I am working hard on conquering these thoughts and fears. I just need a little help now and then.

[Stormsky]

Well I'm here when you need to chat.x
I conquered panic a long ago, yet feeling Anx tonight over job interview in morning!

[Edward_1980]

Thanks Stormsky. Just those paranoid thoughts kicking in again. I'm on Zyprexa for them, but some days I can be subjected to relapses :)

[Stormsky]

You deserve to be happy, just keep repeating that...

[Edward_1980]

Thanks Storm, and good luck tomorrow. I'm sure you will be just fine :)

[Stormsky]

Thanks... It's a job I went for nearly 2yrs ago....at time a girl who'd left to have baby said she wanted to come back parttime, so they told me I'd have to share job, and at that time I wasn't interested in parttime,,anyway they remembered me and sent me email saying jobs come back up and really want me and was I available...

[Edward_1980]

That's great news. I'm going to be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that you get the job :)

[Stormsky]

Thanks ,send me calming vibes at 10am then! X

[Edward_1980]

I will do so lol. I'll be up tomorrow morning anyway so will send you a good luck message ok? :)

[Stormsky]

Ahhhhh thanks xx

[Edward_1980]

You are very welcome XX And tomorrow will be fine. You will get this job :)

[Stormsky]

http://www.paprikashop.co.uk/
This is the shop, it's only 15min walk from my house too...job is asst manager.

[Edward_1980]

I love the retro phones!!!

[Stormsky]

They do lots of fab things, expensive most of it, like lamps at 300 quid!

[Edward_1980]

OK, I wouldn't buy a 300 quid lamp, but the phones are nice. Do you think that you will get the job? I'd say you will :)

[Stormsky]

Fingers eyes, toes crossed then. Lol
Haven't worked for 9 months now.....

[Edward_1980]

I'll keep mine crossed for you anyway :)

I think it will be great if you return to work. Do you actually feel you are able to?

[Stormsky]

Yes I need to get out of house And live in the real world agin

[Edward_1980]

If you are ready then I'm sure you will be ok :)

[Stormsky]

Works a good distraction from thinking all the time. And the money be nice!

[Edward_1980]

I think it will help you. I wish I could work right now, but the way things are it just wouldn't work out. But, I am determined to return to work somewhere down the line :)

[Stormsky]

You'll get there when your ready...x

[Edward_1980]

I'm thinking of going into Psychology, but my partner thinks that I am too vulnerable at the moment and that people's problems could set me off. I've always wanted to help people, and I think that having been through addiction myself I could offer a lot to people who are suffering themselves.

[Stormsky]

I always thought of becoming counsellor, but like said, not sure I can cope hearing everyone's troubles! Having one of those couches they lie on be great! Although prob find me on it and them calming me! Lol

[Edward_1980]

It's something I really want to do. Even if I don't get into Psychology, I think I would make a good addiction counselor because of the history. I'd be the same I would imagine. I can see myself sitting on the couch instead of doling out advice. But, hopefully this will happen for me somewhere down the line.