View Full Version : wedding anniversary and don't want to go out
Today is my wedding anniversary, hubby usually works away through the week but is coming home tonight. I hardly slept last night, have the headache from hell today and feeling weepy. I know he wanted to take me out for dinner and I don't want to go. He will understand but I just seem to wreck so many special days. he is always so good and supportive and doesn't deserve a wreck like me (although he says he wouldn't want anyone but me) :weep:
:hugs: Annie. You must do what is best for you - it's no use taking a step too far, and feeling worse because of it. I would suggest you have a sit/lie down with some camomile tea, lavender oil on your temples or something to see if you can get shut of that headache, and just to have some "you" time, then assess how you feel again later. If you don't feel up to going out, don't beat yourself up - it may be your wedding anniversary today, but you could postpone and go out at the weekend or something, when you would be able to celebrate feeling better, as well as your marriage :)
I think I am trying so hard to feel good for him getting home that I am making myself feel even worse. I just wanted to make today special for him, he is always so good to me and supportive. I have just put a lavender wheat bag in the microwave to put on my head.
I agree with Elle-Kay. You can't force yourself..You will only feel worse. You may feel alittle better and up for it later...If not then you can always post-pone. You could always cook a nice meal or have a cosy night in. I always find just togetherness no matter where you are lovely on special days. Give hubby a lovely massage. I am sure he will appreciate it :winks: xx
Happy anniversay Annie :) Listen, who says anniversaries are meant to be out for dinner occasions, why dont you have a take away at home, light some candles, have an epsom bath LOL, you know what i mean, what matters is you spend it with him, feeling comfoirtable and happy, going out for dinner isnt important. He will undersatnd, you know he will! xxxx
Granny Primark
03-10-12, 13:16
Congratulations!!!!:D
Stop putting yourself down Annie.
You must be a special person to have such a special husband that obviously love you very much.
Why not cook him a special meal or have a takeaway if you are certain you cant manage to go out?
Hope you have a lovely day and an even better evening.:hugs:
I think it will have to be a take away and he will be happy with that, nothing in to cook a meal and I can't drive yet with my foot and I can't stand long enough to do a massage :) I know he will be happy just being home with me but I just feel like I let him down sometimes. I just need to stop worrying about feeling good then I will probably feel good :doh:
---------- Post added at 13:20 ---------- Previous post was at 13:19 ----------
Thanks for all your kind message :)
Exactly!! You need to stoip the guilt and worry. All your wonderful husband will want is to spend time with YOU. It doesn't matter whether that be out or in the comfort of your own home. Just as previous posts have stated..You are obviously a very special lady Annie (we knew this anyway) and you will be able to make it upto your husband in many ways when your foot is better and your anxiety leaves for good! Maybe a nice weekend away to somewhere he will love. My sister goes away on regular weekends to Dublin becasue her partner has a huge thing for all things Guiness related..They go to the factory etc lol. Something like that maybe? :) xx
I know we haven't had a break (apart from in my foot!!!) for a while. When he was staying in a hotel a few weeks ago I phoned and booked him in the spa there for a massage as I felt bad I can't do them at the moment. Had to cancel our holidays this year and had to cancel last year as he had to have an op! Had to go all the way to Cardiff for it (from Durham) as it was the only place we could get it done.
Well you are in need of a well deserved break! Something to look forward to when you are back up and running (literally lol) xx
Well I have decided that since he has a 5 hour drive home, I will have a nice relaxing bath ready for him, order a takeaway and snuggle up to watch a DVD. It is awful weather here today anyway so much better to stay home :D Thank you all for helping me to calm down, you are all such lovely people :hugs:
Annie Happy anniversary
i must say i am so like you, we have been invited to some ones birthday party
a week on saturday,I won't know a soul there.
i heard hubby on phone saying we could come, some work mate he used to work with, I wonder if i can get out of it? cos i have been waken since 4am this morning
worrying. I will have to say something.
Anyway Annie, best bet is takeaway, if you don't feel up to going out
all the bestx
Hi Magic...Thank you. That is my next hurdle my cousins birthday 50th birthday in 2 weeks..I am determined to make it though, hopefully I will be feeling a bit better by then, trying not to think about it until the day :)
Hey don't feel bad about this. Would you blame him if he wasn't well? The main thing is that you spend some quality time together, great if you can do it today, if not, there are many more days you can do it.
Also agree with others- why do dinner out - there are tonnes of things you can do instead!
Hey don't feel bad about this. Would you blame him if he wasn't well? The main thing is that you spend some quality time together, great if you can do it today, if not, there are many more days you can do it.
Also agree with others- why do dinner out - there are tonnes of things you can do instead!
He was ill for 4 months last year and no I never blamed him and I know he won't blame me :) He has just got home and I have got the bath ready for him to relax in...have even put some soap petals in for him lol...going to order take away now. At least my headache has gone! :)
Have a nice evening Annie :)
Zingything
03-10-12, 18:01
Happy Anniversary Annie :flowers:
I agree with others, a take-away, bottle of wine, DVD and cuddles. I'd much prefer that than going out to dinner. How lovely for you, have a great evening. xx
Thanks everyone...just waiting for the takeaway to be delivered :)
nicola1980
03-10-12, 18:44
Happy Anniversary :D i couldn't face going out on our anniversary in august and it was our 1st but hubby didn't mind and we just had a take away instead, hope you both have a lovely night xx
Had our takeaway and I wish I hadn't...it has upset my stomach straight away (I only got salad with baked potato and cheese but I think it was that cheap processed cheese). I am upstairs now on the bed and hubby is downstairs watching TV...oh well he enjoyed his bath and is still happy. Hopefully my tummy will settle soon.
---------- Post added at 21:38 ---------- Previous post was at 19:26 ----------
Why can't I have just a normal evening...so the takeaway was 30 minutes later than they said so I was getting anxious, when it arrived they sent the wrong desserts and I called them and they said it was because they didn't have what I ordered and wouldn't do any thing about it. That got me more anxious. As soon as I had eaten I started to feel nauseous and running to the loo, don't know if it was the food or anxiety. I have had to come up to bed and have taken 1 of my emergency diazipam, feel like I have ruined the evening, crying again, I am so fed up of everything! Hope the diazipam takes effect soon..I just want to sleep and at the moment feel like I never want to wake up again.
bernie1977
03-10-12, 21:44
Bless you Annie. You're feeling like this because you feel you have let your hubby down, but you haven't. He's probably sat downstairs happy because he can watch what he wants on the TV! Please don't be sad you are a lovely lady and it shines through in the kind posts that you make to people offering them help and encouragement. You WILL feel better tomorrow, things seem bad now because you have felt under pressure today and that's caused you to feel more anxious. Sending you lots of hugs :hugs:
Had our takeaway and I wish I hadn't...it has upset my stomach straight away (I only got salad with baked potato and cheese but I think it was that cheap processed cheese). I am upstairs now on the bed and hubby is downstairs watching TV...oh well he enjoyed his bath and is still happy. Hopefully my tummy will settle soon.
---------- Post added at 21:38 ---------- Previous post was at 19:26 ----------
Why can't I have just a normal evening...so the takeaway was 30 minutes later than they said so I was getting anxious, when it arrived they sent the wrong desserts and I called them and they said it was because they didn't have what I ordered and wouldn't do any thing about it. That got me more anxious. As soon as I had eaten I started to feel nauseous and running to the loo, don't know if it was the food or anxiety. I have had to come up to bed and have taken 1 of my emergency diazipam, feel like I have ruined the evening, crying again, I am so fed up of everything! Hope the diazipam takes effect soon..I just want to sleep and at the moment feel like I never want to wake up again.
Aww sorry your evening went bad. I get anxious waiting for delivery too. I think you have gotten all worked up under the pressure of the day. I like to do things impulsively for this very reason. If there is a planned night out whther it be with work or friends or anything that I am expected to attend I get so worked up. I even have a male workmate who is exactly the same. He does everything he can to avoid planned things. It was all just to do with that Annie. I understand that you feel you let your husband down etc but you are still recovering from injury and have anxiety to battle. You have plenty of wonderful and anxiety free times ahead that you will share together. Please try not to be upset!! xx
Thank you Bernie. The last time we had a day out together was in June and we had been given a gift experience for lunch cruise on the Thames and a trip on the London Eye. I had been anxiety free for a year. I ate the meal but I am intolerant to cream and I didn't realise there was cream in the desert. My tummy was upset straight away so we didn't make it on the London eye then I had a massive panic attack on the crowded underground and had to get off before our stop while I calmed down. I just feel like I am ruining all our special days. I know he is just pleased to be home and watching tv downstairs but I still feel bad :(
---------- Post added at 21:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:50 ----------
Thank you lu, you are all so kind. I am starting to feel the effects of the diazipam now. I was so scared I was going to be sick, I hate being sick.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support last night. I felt better after I took the diazipam and my husband came up to bed and told me how nice it was to come home after a long drive and have a bath ready for him. He said it wasn't my fault at all and we wouldn't be ordering from that takeaway again, it was them who had let us down, not me. I am feeling better this morning. :)
Glad you're feeling better today Annie! I couldn't switch of at all last night so have only just woken up! I feel so lazy!! lol. What kind of takeaway place was it?
I went on Just Eat and it was an Italian. Still feeling a bit shaky but getting better :) The diazipam really calmed me down but then when my husband came up I couldn't stop talking and he was just laughing with me :D
Aww that's good that the day ended on a positive note! I had a very graphic dream about Dr Who last night...Never even watched the show! It has disturbed me abit lol! I actually stopped during and got in my car and drove away! Do you ever find your dreams very vivid?
I do, I get lots of night mares and it is always someone trying to get me but the strange thing is I am in my own bedroom in the dream and my bedroom door opens so even when it wakes me I still think it is real because I am in the same place as in my dream. It happens the same over and over again and really freaks me out :scared15:
How are the boils doing?
I have had that where dreams cross into reality. It can be very frightening! I am feeling alot better pain wise but still not 100%..getting there though thank you! I just had to run my sicknote to a friend and the day is beautiful out there. So bright and sunny..It felt like everything was in HD and freaked me out a little bit...I was driving along thinking about it and immediately tried distracting. Breathing correctly really does help doesn't it?
It is a beautiful day here too. I just went out for my walking practise and my neighbour said she would go with me so that I could try walking a bit further and I managed it fine. When she got back her husband brought garden chairs out and we sat in the sun having a cup of tea. It has really cheered me up. Pleased your pain is not so bad and hopefully it will go in the next few days. :)
paranoidtree
04-10-12, 12:16
i love autumn days like this where the sun is shining but you need a wooly jumper too!
I didn't need a wooly jumper, I was wearing tee shirt and jeans and my legs where burning. Sky is blue and sun is hot here :) Made me feel so much more c.heerful
paranoidtree
04-10-12, 19:38
wow! lucky you, it's chilly down here at the moment but at least it wasn't raining!
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