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MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 21:02
Found this old post from someone and thought I would share...

Hopefully this will make you smile-we all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes.........

you know you have a panic disorder when:

When you're having a PA and people talk to you and you get so annoyed and angry at them for making your symtoms worse.

rationalizing crashing your car on the way to the airport as a means of getting out of going on that flight.

you have a PA and need to go to public bathroom, but leave bathroom door unlocked so they can get to you easier when they find you

even though you have had one million PAs and you survived every single one, you know that this one is different, this one is the real thing

Check every ache and pain you have on the internet, even if you have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to do it. And just know your going to die from something and no one will really listen to you because your a professional "doctor goer" and you really blew it by being so obsessed with your health.

you burn something on purpose while cooking just to make sure the fire alarms are working.

you want to move house so you can live closer to the hospital

you want everyone who doesn't understand to have a panic attack so they would understand and quit calling you a hyperchondriac

you enter your local supermarket, only to find they have rearrange everything & you quickly turn around & leave

The person in line in front of you is digging through their purse for the correct amount & you offer to pay the difference to get them out of the way.

You consider just throwing the girl at the till a £20 note for a £1.99 item & telling her to keep the change as you make a break for the door.

You walk out of the store with the receipt visible in your hand so when the alarm does go off, you won’t be accused of stealing.

Close your eyes & grit your teeth everytime you exit the store praying the alarm doesn’t go off (even when you have nothing to set it off) & of course breath a sigh of relief upon entering the parking lot like you’ve really accomplished something.

Forgetting to buy everything you needed at the store because you were in such a hurry to get out of there

You ask co-workers about their Firstaid skills just in case you go down

Wondering how much those defib. Machines are & if having one in your house would be a little OTT

You keep a copy of your medical Records beside your bed for the paramedics. Also you keep a Medication List & who to call list (with at least 6 names on it…..in case they can’t reach the others) in your wallet for when they find you laying in the street)

You have that certain someone who is to call you everyday & make sure your still alive because if you die you don’t want to decompose before anyone notices your missing

If your traveling out of your “safe zone” you get on map quest & locate all nearby hospitals that will be nearby

Your doctor, dentist, hairdresser etc. always schedules you as the first appointment because waiting is just not an option for you.

Talking face to face with someone & not having a clue what their saying because your to busy wondering if they can tell how freaked out you are.

Accepting the fact that the “crazy house” or Psych. Ward probably really isn’t that bad of a place & it really would be nice to get a way for awhile.

Telling others they just didn’t see you at a meeting, church, wedding etc. because you were sitting in the back…(of course you always ask where they were sitting first)

Having your stash of 2 or 3 “emergency pills” stored in everyroom of your house & of course your car.

Having your doctor write a new script even when you 2 refills left on the last one because you just don’t want to run out.

when you dont bother having a shower so if someone asks you to leave the house you say ill be about an hour i need to shower and do my hair

when you worry about not having afore mentioned shower because the paramedics will think you smell and laugh at you when they pick up your dead body

when you just know you are dying but its the thought of leaving house to go to A&E makes you panic more

When you know you would ace med school because you have already researched every disease known to man. But you know you wouldn't even make it through the first 10 minutes because you would for sure have whatever disease was being discussed.

You turn down a chance to go on a cruise once you were informed how long it would take to get a helicopter out to the ship to rush you to the nearest hospital.

When You Drive To The Hospital To Takeyour new meds,, So In Case You Have A Reaction You'll Already Be There

You know you have Panic disorder when you go the bathroom really fast because you dont want to be found dead like Elvis.

When you let your hair grow extra long because you are so certain that you'll pass out in the barber's/hairdresser's chair

When you would rather go through the McDonald's drive-thru alone and eat a cheeseburger than go out and eat a 20 oz steak with your friends at a nice restaurant.

When you MUST go to the bathroom as soon as you arrive at any restaurant to splash some "MAGIC WATER" on your face.

when you can't breathe because you know that in ONLY five weeks you have to give a presentation.

when you drive by a cemetery and are scared to breathe because you might inhale a ghost.

When you are grocery shoppng you have to run to the drink isle and open a bottle of water before you die.

When you drive to a different town to go to the ER so the new doctor will take you seriously

When you leave whole plates of food uneaten because it has been poisoned.

When you constantly make your husband take sips of your drink to prove to you it's not poisoned.

As soon as you see a police car while driving, you start swerving all over the road in terror because you're sure you're about to be arrested.

You take your pulse at least 45 times per hour

You worry so much that you actually worry about worrying.

you get freaked out when your pets look at you funny because they have that 'sixth sense'.

you try every position in bed you can think of until your wound up like a pretzel, just so you cant feel your heart beating

you compare your breathing/heartrate with the closest thing to you, even if it's the cat.. then you think the dogs bigger.. maybe i should try that?

you constantly ask other people what their pulses are

Please feel free to add

Hugs to all :hugs:

Edward_1980
03-10-12, 21:06
This is comical, especially since I present myself to A&E with all my medical history and have my medication all lined up for when the Ambulance comes to take me away!!!

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 21:20
He he... I recognise quite a few but the one I have done which now reads so ridiculous is... get spooked out when your pet looks at you funny in case they have a sixth sense lol.

What are we like :-)

Edward_1980
03-10-12, 21:23
He he... I recognise quite a few but the one I have done which now reads so ridiculous is... get spooked out when your pet looks at you funny in case they have a sixth sense lol.

What are we like :-)

Omg....I was like that the other week. One of my dogs suddenly got up from the couch, ran around in circles and started growling and turning his head in funny ways. I thought there was a ghost in the house!!

Allison Jayne
03-10-12, 21:23
Fantastic post! I can relate to almost all of them at some point!! My main ones are1- you have a box of Bach pastels in your handbag, your car, your dads car, bedside cabinet and kitchen just in case!
2- as soon as you put a 'n' in google, no more panic comes up.
3- one magpie is a sure sign I'm going to die today, followed by a mad flurry to the his wife and then a huge sigh when she's seen!
4- being greatful for your little ones demanding you don't lock the bathroom door, hey you never know this once you may keep over but at least the doors open.
5- your pharmacist knows your details better than you do!
6- last but not least your partner telling you to stop rubbing your legs on the bed as he's starting to feel sea sick and you not even realising you was doing it!

loopylu86
03-10-12, 21:33
I get the magpie one too!

I also leave the back door unlocked so that the paramedics can get to me easily.

I always forget what I have came into the shop for or even just going downstairs to the kitchen..I never come back with what I orginally went for!

I used to carry a self made folder of information about anxiety and DP in my car to take with me to refer to in panicky times!

Phone is always fully cahrged when out in case I need to ring anyone or 999
So many things!!

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 21:41
lol.. And we thought it was our secret :-)

Would love to hear some more and also if people have OCDs ( don't have to give reason why) but would love to share our habits to see how funny they read.. it might help us :-)

I will start with one of mine... When I go to the loo, I have to tap the flush 3 times and then the hand steriliser dispenser 3 times :0)

Keep them coming xx

Elle-Kay
03-10-12, 21:47
I love this post, and had a wry giggle at a lot of the sentences! :) I can definitely relate to the one about having a mini-pharmacy of pills stashed in each handbag, my home, the car, my parents' home...

Here's one to add from me:
You know you have a panic disorder when.... you go out with your husband in his car, but take the spare car key in your handbag in case you have to make your escape. If he doesn't want to leave at the same time, he'll have to walk!

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 21:58
lol.. Also when your other half parks in a busy car park to pop into a shop and automatically takes the keys and you say.. leave the car running love its a bit cold :-)

loopylu86
03-10-12, 21:59
haha hilarious!!!!!!

Laura123
03-10-12, 22:01
Ha ha ha love this thread, made me smile, I have done almost all of this, I always make sure no keys are in the front door at night so as my mum can get in to find my body lolling at it now! X

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 22:06
It's nice to air them to people who "get it" instead of hiding them. And we laugh :-) x

Elle-Kay
03-10-12, 22:06
...when you always claim to have "had a big breakfast" to avoid being invited to eat lunch out, even though in reality the thought of eating a breakfast of any kind sends you running for the Diazepam!

loopylu86
03-10-12, 22:06
Ha ha ha love this thread, made me smile, I have done almost all of this, I always make sure no keys are in the front door at night so as my mum can get in to find my body lolling at it now! X


This made me LOL cos I do the same. So weird how anxiety sufferers have such similar thoughts!! x

I live alone too.....Nevermind the potential burglers...as long as the paramedics have easy access!!!

Elle-Kay
03-10-12, 22:29
...when the clothes in your wardrobe are arranged according to those that are "safe" to wear in varying degrees of anxiety.

...when you've run out of original (and plausible) excuses for never getting a lift in someone else's car, and resort instead to increasingly implausible reasons - I have to go somewhere afterwards / I get a rash from non-leather interiors / the garage said if I don't drive my car every day my engine will explode!!

I'm enjoying this :D

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 23:03
:-) When you have to take your tablets with the same glass.. because "its your "lucky one" lolol x

---------- Post added at 23:03 ---------- Previous post was at 22:36 ----------

Got giggles on now, just thought of another one I have done..

In the supermarket.. other half goes to walk down an isle.. "what you going down there for love?".. replies "cornflakes" Ooo we don't need cereal got loads! (running with trolley to get to the end isle thinking well we got a couple of weetabix left lolol)

Elle-Kay
03-10-12, 23:08
...you can't go on holiday without taking half a library and enough DVDs to open your own Blockbuster with you. Plus, you pack your DVD player in case the one at place you're staying doesn't work :roflmao:

Yes, this was me on or holiday last year!!

loopylu86
03-10-12, 23:09
Being sat in motorway traffic thinking "now I wonder how much trouble I will really get in..if I take the hard shoulder"

Elle-Kay
03-10-12, 23:11
Being sat in motorway traffic thinking "now I wonder how much trouble I will really get in..if I take the hard shoulder"

Or being on a road where the carriageways are separated by a kerbed area between, and wondering "I wonder if anyone would notice much if I drove my car up the kerb & over, to do a U-turn?"

MissHDynamite
03-10-12, 23:22
lol.. have thought of both :blush:

Parking in the parent/child space.. well she is my child even though she's 20! lol

loopylu86
03-10-12, 23:25
lol.. have thought of both :blush:

Parking in the parent/child space.. well she is my child even though she's 20! lol


I do this...despite having no child..If anyone were to ask.. I am pregnant with child (I am not) I always feel guilty about this one but I also think...Anxiety sufferers deserve their own parking area!! Plus the kids get that extra walk through the car park so I am technically helping them keep fit!! :noangel:

Laura123
04-10-12, 12:24
Lmao if I ever have a real coffee, as in not decaf, I panic half way through incase it gives me palpitations, I never ever can finish it. Also i always feel relief when I have had a shower and have nice matching Jammies on incase I get rushed into hospital. How weird are we all, I love how we are laughing about this and sharing it. Xx

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 12:36
Lmao if I ever have a real coffee, as in not decaf, I panic half way through incase it gives me palpitations, I never ever can finish it. Also i always feel relief when I have had a shower and have nice matching Jammies on incase I get rushed into hospital. How weird are we all, I love how we are laughing about this and sharing it. Xx

God I can relate to that Laura. I too make sure that I have nice pjs on so I don't look bad when the paramedics arrive to take me away. I also keep with me a full detailed letter of my medical history and have my medication lined up for the Doctors in A&E.

Laura123
04-10-12, 12:47
Lol Edward, what a bunch of little oddballs we are! Least we know our minds work! We should all take an art class, perhaps anxiety is due to suppressing artistic flair or something lol xx

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 12:49
I think we are very clever people indeed Laura. Who else, in the middle of an attack, would stop to make sure that we are perfectly dressed and have our history and medication all ready so that they know what to do with us. Was bad last night, but reading this and relating to it has cheered me up today. Xx

Laura123
04-10-12, 12:58
It is a great thread, has really put my mind at ease, I am not the only one who thinks all these daft thoughts. I really agree that we are all a bit too clever probably, that is no doubt why we are in the bloody mess we are. I never could understand people who managed to go about life and not worry. When I was little, if my mum was on a night out, I would be wide awake worrying until she got home, sometimes so bad I would start phoning pubs to see if she was there and safe, I would wake my brother in a panic saying mum isn't home, and he would just say oh go back to sleep laura. I would lie and look at him for ages wishing I could be like him. Xx

---------- Post added at 12:58 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------

Don't know where that came from lol x

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 13:05
It is a great thread, has really put my mind at ease, I am not the only one who thinks all these daft thoughts. I really agree that we are all a bit too clever probably, that is no doubt why we are in the bloody mess we are. I never could understand people who managed to go about life and not worry. When I was little, if my mum was on a night out, I would be wide awake worrying until she got home, sometimes so bad I would start phoning pubs to see if she was there and safe, I would wake my brother in a panic saying mum isn't home, and he would just say oh go back to sleep laura. I would lie and look at him for ages wishing I could be like him. Xx

---------- Post added at 12:58 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------

Don't know where that came from lol x

I was the same with my Mum when she was alive Laura. I constantly worried about her when she went out for a few drinks and I was biting my nails to the stump with anxiety until I heard the front door open. This was going on from when I was 13 years to the few months before she died. A lot of my anxiety comes from this as well. I watched her die in her hospital bed from Colon cancer after apologizing to her for all the things that I did wrong. I made a stupid mistake and refused to leave the room after she passed. I spent hours just holding her hand until the undertakers came to bring her to the funeral home. I stupidly refused to let go and had to watch her body being carried out of the hospital on a stretcher and covered with a blanket. That red blanket that causes me such anxiety. I can tell you that I collapsed at the hospital and had to be given Xanax, Diazepam and Ativan to get me through the days following that until the funeral. Sorry for going in Laura, I didn't even mean to bring this subject up, but it just came to mind when you mentioned your Mum.:hugs:

Laura123
04-10-12, 13:09
Aw Edward, that's heartbreaking. I am so sorry that you went through this. My mum is my world and best friend and it was always my biggest fear as a child that something would happen to her, it still is a huge issue for me so I can understand how this would crush a person. Have you had grief counselling, what you went through would be hard enough for anyone to cope with let alone such an emotionally sensitive soul like you. Hugs xxxx

---------- Post added at 13:09 ---------- Previous post was at 13:09 ----------

You know what, pm me instead, lets keep this a positive happy thread. Xx

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 13:12
Aw Edward, that's heartbreaking. I am so sorry that you went through this. My mum is my world and best friend and it was always my biggest fear as a child that something would happen to her, it still is a huge issue for me so I can understand how this would crush a person. Have you had grief counselling, what you went through would be hard enough for anyone to cope with let alone such an emotionally sensitive soul like you. Hugs xxxx

---------- Post added at 13:09 ---------- Previous post was at 13:09 ----------

You know what, pm me instead, lets keep this a positive happy thread. Xx

I was going to suggest that Laura. This is a positive thread that needs to stay that way. OK:

Imagining the Chemotherapy because you know you have colon cancer.

Laura123
04-10-12, 13:20
Yes I have often looked at wigs and panicked if I would get one to suit me! I have a funny one, at work I used to be so paranoid in the loo that anyone would hear me pee, I was rushing so quick before anyone came in that I pulled my trousers down and forgot about my knickers! Lmao, tmi sorry everyone! X

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 13:22
Yes I have often looked at wigs and panicked if I would get one to suit me! I have a funny one, at work I used to be so paranoid in the loo that anyone would hear me pee, I was rushing so quick before anyone came in that I pulled my trousers down and forgot about my knickers! Lmao, tmi sorry everyone! X

Omg Laura, that is too funny.

How about really needing the loo in public for a number two and then being too ashamed to come out of the cubicle because everyone can smell you :)

Laura123
04-10-12, 13:27
Or stuffing so much big roll down the loo to stop the splashing noise that you block it...,,... This happens in someone's house! Lmao, not saying it happened to me.......just saying......... Pmsl! X

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 13:33
Or stuffing so much big roll down the loo to stop the splashing noise that you block it...,,... This happens in someone's house! Lmao, not saying it happened to me.......just saying......... Pmsl! X

That happened to me when I was staying with my brother for a few days. I blocked the toilet and I was both shocked, panicking and shamed when I saw the water level rise. Thankfully it went down again and the water swallowed the evidence!!

Laura123
04-10-12, 14:43
You lose weight, drop a dress size and instead of being excited to go shopping for new skinny clothes you panic and walk around wearing clothes that are hanging on you ............ Not saying I am doing this.......... Just saying lol lol xx

Elle-Kay
04-10-12, 14:44
You lose weight, drop a dress size and instead of being excited to go shopping for new skinny clothes you panic and walk around wearing clothes that are hanging on you ............ Not saying I am doing this.......... Just saying lol lol xx

I, on the other hand, am doing this... lol

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 14:47
You lose weight, drop a dress size and instead of being excited to go shopping for new skinny clothes you panic and walk around wearing clothes that are hanging on you ............ Not saying I am doing this.......... Just saying lol lol xx

That's a good one.

Ringing your Doctor to admit you to hospital because you think you are going mad in the head!

Did this last week but see the funny side of it now!:roflmao:

Laura123
04-10-12, 14:49
I phoned doctors on call last week convinced I was going into shock because of citalopram, the nurse I spoke to I swear to god slapped me down the phone, she was horrible! X

MissHDynamite
04-10-12, 15:02
I get that! lol Have lost 3 stone and keep pinching my daughters jeans and leggings because I can't get to the flipping shops! :shrug:lol x

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 15:06
I phoned doctors on call last week convinced I was going into shock because of citalopram, the nurse I spoke to I swear to god slapped me down the phone, she was horrible! X

I phoned my mental health nurse a few weeks back convinced I was having a complete nervous breakdown and begging to be brought to hospital. When he didn't help me and told me to calm down I was furious, packed my bags, got Mark to bring me to A&E and sat there with my bag and waited for the Psychiatrist on call to admit me. They had to give me valium to calm me down and when I did see him he decided that I needed a very low dose (1mg a night for a week). Looking back at all the things I said, I'm most have sounded neurotic and deranged.

Laura123
04-10-12, 16:29
Oh Edward, what are we going to do with ourselves LOL, its not funny at the time though is it, i felt like such a plonker when my husband asked me what the nurse said, and i had to reply that she basically told me if i was having a siezure i wouldnt be able to speak to her! LOL LOL. These are the posts we need to read when we are having a panic attack, because when its happening, you swear you have NEVER, EVER, felt like this before!!!! Eh, yeh, we have!!!!! :) xx

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 18:49
Oh Edward, what are we going to do with ourselves LOL, its not funny at the time though is it, i felt like such a plonker when my husband asked me what the nurse said, and i had to reply that she basically told me if i was having a siezure i wouldnt be able to speak to her! LOL LOL. These are the posts we need to read when we are having a panic attack, because when its happening, you swear you have NEVER, EVER, felt like this before!!!! Eh, yeh, we have!!!!! :) xx

Oh god Laura, I nearly spat out my juice reading that. The part where the nurse told you that if you were having a seizure you wouldn't be able to to her has me breaking down with laughter.

I got my nurse to come visit me one day. I was telling him horror stories that I might harm myself and he didn't respond the way I wanted him to (I was looking to be admitted I was so terrified). I was hoping he would call my Doctor, but he just said "You aren't going to harm yourself. You're having a panic attack and you are having bizarre thoughts". The end result was me throwing him out of the house, which brings me to my next one.

You you have a panic disorder when you get so paranoid and Anxious that even your community nurse stays away from you for his own safety.

---------- Post added at 18:49 ---------- Previous post was at 17:54 ----------

When you are terrified that you will have a terrible accident and die like one of the characters in Final Destination.

Sorry for the double post, but I had to add that one :)

Laura123
04-10-12, 19:25
I am wetting myself at your first one about the nurse! Ha ha ha ha xx

Edward_1980
04-10-12, 19:32
Stop Laura! I have so many more.

When I was in the hospital a few months I was in the middle of meditation when suddenly the scented candles set off a panic attack. I rushed up from my chair screaming that my heart was going to explode and ruined it all for everyone. I ran out of the room and back to my ward and the Occupational Therapist came down to me. I was going crazy around the ward and screaming that I was having a heart attack and a stroke. I couldn't calm down so they gave me 5mg Diazepam. Oh god, when I think back at all the ideas that were in my head that day. My heart was going to explode. I was having a heart attack and a stroke. I was choking to death. My brain was bleeding and I had cancer and this was the final stages. The shame!