why am i thinking this way

[tricia56]

not sure if this aniety related or the right place to post but this year has been so bad everything seems to of happened and been so stressful .i will try and keep it short and try explain whats happened firstly i have a 8 children whome have all grown up by one who is 16, so i know im going to some kind of stress and things will happen but since last nov everything seems to of happened one after the other. fistly one of my daughters had to come and live with me with her three children because of seriouse problems with drugs she was taking and had to leave her home she was living in . so i had to help her she is ok now and got a new home nr by to me .then a other son split from his wife and children because of his drink and drug problems so i ended up having him live with me for awhile, he has gone bk to his family now and sorting himself out, and after that my sister who is a alcolic and deprressive and lived alone tried to kill herself and was admited to metal unit but because of the way she isnt allowed to live on her own so the doctors and social services asked if i would let her stay with me untill they find her a secure home for her to move in to , i didnt really want the burden of her but no one else in the family would have her so i took her in she is stil leaving with me at the momement and sems to be doing ok. and to top it a couple of weeks ago one of my other sons who lives with me had a breakdown and tried to harm imself he is getting help and suport off the crisis team but yesterday he had a fit and was rushed to a/e and he now has epalpsy. so all thats hapened has helped me with my anxiety and just keep ansking my self today wat else is going to happen next as i feel totataly emotinaly drained by everthing that has happened and thinking is it me bringing on all the sterss on myself because im allowing to take on everyones elses problems .but i find it very hard not too and feel that wish i could go away and leave it all and not have the worrie and stess of my family but then ifeel selfish by thinking that as i8 cant run away and not deal with it as they all are my children

[Annie0904]

you really do have a lot going on and it is no wonder you are so anxious at the moment. It sounds like you could really do with some time to yourself. I understand that you feel the need to support your children still but not to the detriment of your own health. As a mother myself would want to be there for them too but you are just going to get yourself more run down and then not be able to help. Would social services be able to support or the crisis team offer a secure place for any of them to take some of the burden off you. If you have other family they should maybe take over the care of your sister so that you can concentrate on your kids. :hugs::hugs:

[tricia56]

thk you for ur reply and i know i need time on my own but i dont have no friends or anyware to go exept my bedroom to listen to relaxiation music so i find it hard to think of wat or ware to go just to get away for a few hours and also my aniety stops me from doing or going places wich is the wrong thing to do as i know im feeding the anxiety all the more by avoiding doing things but im finding it hard to exept the anxiety as i dont really know how to , also regarding my sister because of her past history my bro or sisters wont have her and our parents are no longer with us and because im the eldest and there is no else i have to do it

[Annie0904]

Do you have any help for your anxiety? Medication, counselling? Maybe you should see your doctor and tell him/her what is going on at the moment and see if he can suggest any support for you? :hugs: