coping with a child with a phobia

[Hudmum]

My daughter has a fear of balloons. To the point where going to children's parties is becoming a very stressful past time. On replying to an invitation I explain to parents that she has this phobia, and the usual reaction is a laugh from them and even if they say balloons won't be present, they usually are. This usually means that we have to leave the party as my daughter starts shaking, sweating and acting irrationally. I know we can't expect every person to remove balloons from their party just because of my daughter, but it is turning a normally happy and well adjusted child into a nervous reck. To the best of my knowledge she developed this phobia after a birthday party when larger children were bursting balloons in the faces of the younger children. If any one can help me help my daughter overcome her fear I would be so grateful.

[scoobygirl2005]

Will she not go anywhere near a balloon? Because you could hold one and show her that there is nothing wrong with them and perhaps she will see they are ok?

Scooby2005
x x

[Hudmum]

Thank-you for your reply. being completely honest with you the fear is getting worse. About a year ago she would happily hold one. Nowadays not a chance. We went to a family day at my husband's work a couple of weeks ago - the face painting tent was next to a stall with balloons on and she wouldn't go near the face painting. This week we've had to leave 2 parties early because of her reaction. She is only 5, but is aware that it is an irrational reaction so I'm at a loss at what to do, as it's getting to the stage where we can't go to the shops if they have ballon displays and is causing problems if we go away on holiday.

[scoobygirl2005]

Have you spoken to her doctor about this? Because they may be able to help. Also found some website articles on google...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A930151

http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/balloon-phobia.html

Hope this helps.

Scooby2005
x x

[Hudmum]

My husband and I had / are considering seeking medical help, I guess that our concern was that we would be met with the same reaction that we recieve from parents; laughter or told she'll grow out of it. Or be accused of wasting their time as so many other people expereince a phobia to some degree. I studied psychology at university and spent some time studing phobia treatments, from what I remember I felt that the varieous treatments weren't suitable for a child so young. I think that we are at the stage where we would be prepared to give anything a chance as seeing her reaction is absolutely heart breaking.

[candylass15]

I am phobic of balloons and have been for many years (am now an adult). As an adult currently undergoing therapy for this issue, I can only suggest that the earlier you help your child with this problem (as emotional as it may be for you), the better she will be later in life. Mine has become very complicated due to numerous factors, and one of them has been due to avoidance for many years and not having been subjected to facing it at an earlier age. If you seek advice from a clinical psychologist or a good general practitioner, they should understand and be able to deal with all the underlying issues that may be associated with it. You are possibly right with techniques used that they may not be suitable for children, as the psychotherapy being used on me at present would only be understood by an adult, however there must be treatments out there that can help eliminate the problem. I remember many childhood memories that appear to sound similar to those of your daughter, and only wish that something had been done earlier to stop the issue worsening as I became older. Good luck, and I would like to hear how you get on.

[farrah2412]

hi

i watched a program with a similar issue to this---the 1st step they did was for the parent to sit in a calm environment with the child and just draw a ballon on some paper, they then encouraged the child to touch the picture of the ballon, then after a few days they then got the child to draw a ballon and then touch the picture--this was done a couple of times in intervals so the child could touch the picture with relevant ease.After they they got the parent to hold a flat ballon and only let the child look at it from a sensible distance and at each practise point get the child to come closer until they can be near the flat ballon---then for the biggy for the child to touch the flat ballon and so on until they can be a room with an inflated ballon without having to touch it if they can.

ignore the ignorant parents who laugh off your little one--they are obviously unthoughtful--i'm sure your little one will look back one day and think i remember when i was frightened of ballons and it will only be a memory
take care
farrah

[Wenjoy]

Hi - my duaghter had severe spider phobia and wouldnt go into a room without scanning ceiling,floor and corners of the room - in the end we contacted MIND and joined the society and then got a hypnotherapist who lives locally to treat her at a reduced fee as she was a child - she is now 2l and is much better in that she will put a glass over a spider and remove it - it took a few weeks with hypnotherapy and counselling but it worked!! dont know if this will help you or not but thought Id mention it. Good luck and love Wenjoy x

[candylass15]

As an adult balloon phobic, systematic desensitaztion (gradual exposure therapy) is the most obvious way to deal with a phobia. I am no health professional, but after reading many books on phobias, there are sometimes more underlying issues than just the fear itself. I am currently having therapy regarding this problem, and my therapist advised that sometimes desensitization only deals with the problem at hand, and not the past issues associated with it. My fear developed when I was very young, and with negative phobic experiences throughout my life it has been reinforced with hundreds of situations which has left me the way I am at the moment. I do not understand a lot about other therapies and whether they are suitable for children, but what is being tried on me at the moment is desensitization in conjunction with a few other therapies - BSFF (Be set free fast), EMT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

From a balloon (and other loud noises including fireworks, party poppers, toy guns, xmas bon bon's etc) phobic, I just wish something had been done when I was younger - would have been easier to reverse then, than now.

[Hudmum]

Can I say thank-you to all of you that have offered some advice on our problem. My daughter is seeing a doctor today in the hope that she can recieve some help and treatment sooner rather than later.

We had, what I felt could have been a major breakthrough this week which made me feel quite emotional. I took both my daughters to a restaurant this week, the waitress thought that she was being kind and bought both the girls a balloon to have on the table, my daughter's reaction was what I have come to expect, but she also tried to climb over the back of the chair to escape. We explianed briefly to the waitress the situation. However my younger daughter was very reluctant to give up her balloon, and I realised whatever we did was going to have one of the girls in tears. However, after calmly talking to both girls we compromised by letting the balloon go up to the ceiling and therefore was away from the table. Through the meal she kept checking it, but accepted that it was within a few metres of her and calmed down.

At the end of the meal our aim was to leave the restaurant and the balloon, however her sister desperately wanted her gift, again we spoke that if she walked ahead with her gran she couldn't see it, after some calm reasoning she went off about 10 metres ahead. It was painful to see she was uncomfortable knowing a balloon was in the vacinity, but I guess I wanted her to know that we feel for her and her fear, but we can't avoid them for the rest of her life. However, after a short while her sister decided that having a balloon wasn't as much fun as she thought, to cut what is now becoming a long story shorter, we mangaged to get me daughter to hold the string of her sisiters balloon, walk a few steps to the open air and let it go, watching it float into the sky. To most parents this would be such an insignificant act, I had a huge lump in my throat and I was so proud of her.

I'm worried that some of you will think that I was cruel not insisiting her sisters balloon was taken away as well, my thinking was that she will be unable to aviod balloons completely, and in this situation I had control of how much she was exposed to. However, I am now feeling so much more confident that with the right help and guidance we can help her resolve her fear, and your suggestions have given me much more confience to seek medical attention.

[candylass15]

I think that is a great step - even to have her hold the string, as well as the symbolic side of letting it go. If you get the chance to do it again perhaps under a more "controlled" situation that she can feel more comfortable, it might be another positive step. As a phobic of this problem, my worry would have been if it floated to the ceiling, how would the heat of the lights effect it - maybe it would break etc - just be careful that she does not become paranoid with smaller issues that others may not see as a threat. To me, sharp corners, even having them lay on the floor could all be potential issues. Good luck, and let us know how things progress with the Doctor.

[Rik]

I dont know if this will help but is it all ballons or only certain shapes?

Maybe if you got something really cool shape ballon or like a ballon with somethig your daughter likes on it, maybe that might help?

or like with ballons tied together to make sometthing like a dog or a hat, might make it interesting and fun?

sorry if ths doesnt help but just some ideas.

[KatieLou]

[I guess that our concern was that we would be met with the same reaction that we receive from parents; laughter or told she'll grow out of it. Or be accused of wasting their time as so many other people experience a phobia to some degree. I studied psychology at university and spent some time studying phobia treatments, from what I remember I felt that the various treatments weren't suitable for a child so young. I think that we are at the stage where we would be prepared to give anything a chance as seeing her reaction is absolutely heart breaking]

I can absolutely relate to this. Our daughter has blood phobia and I was completely dismissed by our GP, without any signposting to any other services, which has left us nowhere! If you can get some advice from websites and take that with you to the doctors - and make sure you and your husband go to the appointment together - hopefully they will take you more seriously. Good luck!

[Carys]

HI again Katie, you might not get a reponse from the OP on this one, as the thread is 13 years old.