View Full Version : Huge panic attack
So I just woke up and had a huge panic attack. My arms felt weird and then legs and my vision went kind of weird..like faded or snowy. I thought I was going to pass out. My breathing didn't feel real and I literally turned white as a ghost. I honestly felt like I was about to faint. So I lead on my bed with my feet up on the wall and did my breathing and tried distracting...It began to ease so I did a row of knitting which I was shaking throughout and it made my arm feel so heavy. I think this attack came from fear of that dreadful feeling I had this morning. I feel very disconnected from my body now. I just want to sleep to escape it all. How can such a great day always be followed by the worst!!
I know, after a good day we feel "great things are getting better" then a bad one comes along. I really hope that you start to feel better again soon :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thanks Annie. My vivision has luckily returned to normal. It was weird and it isn't a new thing that I will be worrying about but when you are in the middle of an attack (this is even new to me) have you had that your vision has become faded somehow..It was like very dull and had a white veil over the colour of everything. Very strange. I feel very spaced out after that one but a slight relief because I felt all morning that terrified feeling. Maybe that was what I was waiting to happen. So now I am past it. I am trying to distract!!
My vision often goes like that, like I am looking through a haze. I just went to Sainsbury's with my husband and managed to get round but heart beating faster, blurry vision and churning stomach. Wish I could go somewhere and just enjoy it! I wear glasses most of the time and keep taking them off when I am anxious because I think they need cleaning but it is just my vision blurring. I told my doctor and he said "I haven't heard that one before".
That is a perfect description...hazy. It isn't like blurred..its still all there..just faded. Well done for getting out though Annie! I love Sainsbury! I was stood on the wool stall in the market this morning just not with it. I still managed to get what I was after and am currently knitting a purple scarf (badly-I must add lol) Did you manage to get all your shopping down? How did you overcome the feelings at the time? x
I left my husband to do the main shopping and I just bought some birthday cards and looked at the Christmas gifts until he was finished. I coped just by telling myself I wouldn't be there long and would soon be out and home again!!! Not sure if that is a positive way of coping. At one point I was going to ask Allan for the car keys so i could go in the car but I thought "No I have to stick this out!" (anxiously spraying Rescue Remedy in mouth!) and I did it.
I think that is fine to think that as you still stayed! If you had just gone to the car then that would of been like giving in to it. You can tell yourself anything as long as you stick through it. I think that is amazing!! Well done Annie! Are you feeling ok this afternoon?
Better than this time yesterday. My son phoned earlier and I was telling him about me worrying about the new drive next week and he said "What is there to worry about" Honestly most people would be excited about it...why do I think everything that is happening is going to be scary? Are you starting to feel better?
He's totally right but anxiety has it's ways of highlighting the things that our regular selves would dismiss. Everything is more intense and scary.
I feel alot better than earlier but still keep getting jelly legs so just trying to knit and watch a dvd. I have a slight headache etc but I don't feel as doomy as earlier. I think that feeling I was dwelling on triggered my panic attack. Now that it has passed..I feel alot better. The way I feel right now is crap in general but feels amazing to how bad I did feel lol. Funny how we learn to cope at a level that isn't all that great...yet is amazing in comparison to the height of anxiety.
Hey Loopy, sorry to hear you were feeling bad. Mornings are always the danger zone, eh? I've also had a rubbish few days after a great week. I don't know what started your panic/anxiety but I always try to remember that it took years of stress, problems and bad habits to condition my body and mind into extreme anxiety. There's no way that I can re-condition my body in a few months. You're bound to have set backs until your mind can learn to relax. But then you prob know all this, and that's what will get you through. I honestly think learning and educating myself about my problems has been the main factor in my recovery. You know what is happening, that's it's harmless, that you can cope and that you will have good days again. Have confidence in your strength and experience.
Hope you're feeling better now x
Hey Loopy, sorry to hear you were feeling bad. Mornings are always the danger zone, eh? I've also had a rubbish few days after a great week. I don't know what started your panic/anxiety but I always try to remember that it took years of stress, problems and bad habits to condition my body and mind into extreme anxiety. There's no way that I can re-condition my body in a few months. You're bound to have set backs until your mind can learn to relax. But then you prob know all this, and that's what will get you through. I honestly think learning and educating myself about my problems has been the main factor in my recovery. You know what is happening, that's it's harmless, that you can cope and that you will have good days again. Have confidence in your strength and experience.
Hope you're feeling better now x
Thank you!! That is the thing see...We read an-bout this but when we are in the height of it...We forget so thank you for reassuring me...the feeling this morning and the panic attack has really gotten me down. I feel so lost and alone today. I kept getting tears aswell and that never happens..but I don't mind that. I find it a relief. I hate when I can't let it out.
You are so right..This stress has been building all year for me. So of course it's going to take time and have set backs. I am going to face tomorrow as confident as ever. xx
pennypanic
06-10-12, 17:16
Oh girl am so sorry you had to take this.
My first panic attacks were like this.Trembling hands and legs,suffocating,blurry vision and last for hours.Fortunately haven't had another one like that since July,some minor ones and some spikes,trembling,palpitations and fear.
Your ways about coping with them seem to work fast.Keep positive.It's cool that you get to struggle with it and not letting it get over you.Maybe,you got stressed somehow today with the depersonalisation matter,who knows?
Oh girl am so sorry you had to take this.
My first panic attacks were like this.Trembling hands and legs,suffocating,blurry vision and last for hours.Fortunately haven't had another one like that since July,some minor ones and some spikes,trembling,palpitations and fear.
Your ways about coping with them seem to work fast.Keep positive.It's cool that you get to struggle with it and not letting it get over you.Maybe,you got stressed somehow today with the depersonalisation matter,who knows?
I think I woke up in the wrong frame of mind. I was thinking about it the scond I woke up and have now came back to that heightened anxiety place where I feel very insync with my symptoms and have heightened awarenes of everything. I am trying to not think too much into it. I need to keep reminding myself that everyday is different and no feelings last forever. x
pennypanic
06-10-12, 17:36
Are you taking the same ad's like last time? I know it's still soon,they say that ad's start working after 5-6 weeks. Have you tried your Bach remedy spray while you where having the attack?
Hi loopy, I get that horrible haze too, it's horrible. I was just out the front of my house for the past hour chatting with a neighbour, i had it the whole time, I kept on shifting about, fidgeting, feeling self concious and it was like every time I focused on her face it went blurry, the vision thing is defo one of the things that really scares me. It's not nice xxxxxx
Hi loopy, I get that horrible haze too, it's horrible. I was just out the front of my house for the past hour chatting with a neighbour, i had it the whole time, I kept on shifting about, fidgeting, feeling self concious and it was like every time I focused on her face it went blurry, the vision thing is defo one of the things that really scares me. It's not nice xxxxxx
It is really scary and I get that all the ime with DP. This however was even more so intense because it was mid attack. I remember looking at the canvas above my stairs and it looked dull and like a white veil was in my vision. Very scary. This was a very similar feeling to when I fainted. I honestly think I am one of the rare ones that could pass out from anxiety because I reach this peak of pure terror that I think only passing out could get me out of! I am not in any way saying that my attacks are more severe than the next person...Just that they probably deal with it better lol.
I have been on CIT for 34 days so approaching week week 6!!
It is just impossible to explain it to someone who doesn't get anxious, honestly I have started hitting myself before because I couldn't cope with the feeling...Not sure what good I thought that would do mind! I am feeling a little shaky again now but I know that is because I have just finished typing my 'traumatic events' to take to my counsellor. Ended up with 15 A4 pages so it may take the full session to read it! I hope your evening gets better for you Lu after such a bad day. Do you watch XFactor?
pennypanic
06-10-12, 18:38
Hope everything starts getting better day by day.You have been then already and you have overcomed the "monster" of fear.
I haven't actually watched it this year. I have watched and loved it every year so will need to have a day and have a marathon to catch up!!
That is alot of trauma Annie! I start writing in my journal and can never stop..my arm and hand is always killing when I am writing. So many thoughts in my head..can't seem to get them down fast enough! Just had a conversation with the new guy I am speaking to..He is so lovely. We are supposed to be spending time together this weekend and I literally can't go. It isn't even nerves stopping me..just this overall uneasiness that is stopping me do everything today. He seems really understanding. He almost seems too good to be true. He thinks I need to stop spending so much time alone..this seems like a good idea. All I have are my thoughts. If people visit me I just want to be alone. It's weird.
He sounds really lovely and caring...just like my hubby :) I know what you mean about visitors sometimes I can be fine but other times I just want them to go and the longer they stay (like last night) the worse I get and I feel like I am in a daze. I am the same visiting others even my parents...all of a sudden I will just get up and say "I have to go now" and they say " you have only just got here" :)
He sounds really lovely and caring...just like my hubby :) I know what you mean about visitors sometimes I can be fine but other times I just want them to go and the longer they stay (like last night) the worse I get and I feel like I am in a daze. I am the same visiting others even my parents...all of a sudden I will just get up and say "I have to go now" and they say " you have only just got here" :)
This is me too!! lol. We should all live on an island together!! We could definitely help each other that way!! lol.
I will abruptly have to exit from places like this.
Just had a chamomile tea as I haven't for a few days and I already feel more with it. The anxiety makes me distant and as the chamomile has kicked in making me more relaxed it has made me feel more with it. Should of had my morning cup!! Going to have my bath soon and hopefully an early night x
I'm going up to bed soon, Allan wants to watch Merlin and I want to watch XFactor :)
A nice little island sounds lovely but it will have to be just the right temperature as well because too hot makes me anxious and if it is so cold that I shiver I get anxious lol x
I'm going up to bed soon, Allan wants to watch Merlin and I want to watch XFactor :)
A nice little island sounds lovely but it will have to be just the right temperature as well because too hot makes me anxious and if it is so cold that I shiver I get anxious lol x
I am the same with both extreme temps too!! lol. Husbands and pets welcome on the island!! I just ordered a kebab. Probably the worst junk you can eat...but oh well!! It's saturday night! x
aww my little Chai will love the island. I only take him out here on a lead...I took him out in the garden today and he was desperate to chase the cows in the back field :)
Awww! Bless him! I love dogs!!
He is a cat :D He just thinks he is a dog! He plays fetch with his toys and goes to get his lead when he wants to go outside :) He also follows me everywhere, sits on the side of the bath when I'm in it waits outside the bathroom door when I go to the loo, he is next to me on the bed now.
It must be something in the air today, because I feel rotten right now too :sad: I was fine earlier, and could kick myself for letting myself get into a tizz-wozz, but since we had dinner I've become really anxious and am sat here with my laptop semi-watching Merlin, and trying with all my might not to run off through to my bedroom because I know that in reality I am safe where I am, but even with only my husband in the room with me I feel ill at ease and as if I'm going to somehow humiliate myself or do something to embarrass him or make him uncomfortable. My stomach feels really tight and uncomfortable, and I feel sure I'm going to be sick because it's full. Plus I've got that dread feeling that this time it's never going to end, or that I really will keep having these attacks for the rest of my life, which feels like an unbearably long time right now :weep:
I'm trying to distract, and also run through some of my CBT stuff in my head like challenging my thoughts - e.g. "Why am I actually afraid of this? In reality what's the worst that could happen? Why would that be so terrible?" - but like everyone I guess, I'm scared to let go towards the feelings & allow them to happen in case this gives my brain a sort of licence to print money, because being this way forveer really does feel like a genuine end to my world at the moment.
I thought the same last night Elle-Kay but have coped a lot better today...last night I didn't feel life was worth living. I am so sorry you and Lu have had such a struggle today but we know we are still going to have some bad days but hey we have had some good ones this week haven't we and it will get better but we are going to get these'blips' still. :hugs::hugs:
Aww so sorry that you are feeling so bad right now Elle-Kay. Today has been one of the worst I have ever had tbh. You describe it so well. All I could do was ride it out. It won't last forever. I feel alot better now but still very edgy and far from "good". It is when there is no relief from these feelings in your own home that I feel so bad. I also feel today like I have no strengh left to give to it. I really feel like Annie said..life is not worth living..although I am not suicidal but if I had to live in a permanent state of this then it wouldn't be long before I felt that way!
I questioned today "What am Iactually afraid of?" "Why did I wake up feeling like this?" "What did I do to cause these feelings?" all of which I still can't answer. I just wish I had a SPECIFIC thing to fear as I would have some relief from it...when you have no idea why you feel the way you do or what the fear is then how do you gain relief? Sleep is the only thing I can do to escape and even that is starting to prove difficult as I wake up in a panic attack the second I "remember" I am so sick of waking up and everyday feeling like such a long slog. I must of been a murderer in a past life!!
electrical_stormgirl
06-10-12, 20:44
Hope you're feeling better x :hugs:
I questioned today "What am Iactually afraid of?" "Why did I wake up feeling like this?" "What did I do to cause these feelings?" all of which I still can't answer. I just wish I had a SPECIFIC thing to fear as I would have some relief from it...when you have no idea why you feel the way you do or what the fear is then how do you gain relief? Sleep is the only thing I can do to escape and even that is starting to prove difficult as I wake up in a panic attack the second I "remember" I am so sick of waking up and everyday feeling like such a long slog. I must of been a murderer in a past life!!
My husband often says to me "why are you crying what were you thinking about when you started to feel like that" and I really do not know...it is like a dark cloud suddenly comes over me...so scary. I wake up in a panic every morning and the longer I stay under the covers the worse I get so I sit up, put the tv on, eat a rich tea biscuit (packet under my bed lol) and then I usually start to feel a bit better. Rescue remedy if no better.
My husband often says to me "why are you crying what were you thinking about when you started to feel like that" and I really do not know...it is like a dark cloud suddenly comes over me...so scary. I wake up in a panic every morning and the longer I stay under the covers the worse I get so I sit up, put the tv on, eat a rich tea biscuit (packet under my bed lol) and then I usually start to feel a bit better. Rescue remedy if no better.
It is that very dark cloud that I think is my fear. It makes me feel like I will never be happy again and that there is no enjoyment left in the world. I think as anxiety sufferers our minds go to very dark places. It isn't an obsessive thought causing it..It's a feeling...like an emotion. It's why it's not possible to snap out of. You can dismiss thoughts..You can't stop feeling angry or sad etc so this is the same..All emotions pass though don't they? So we need to remember this!!
electrical_stormgirl
06-10-12, 21:05
Me and my ex used to refer to it as The Fog :( That overwhelming gloom like you'll never be happy again...
They do they go but at the time you just feel like they will never go and you just don't want to go on like that (like you I am not suicidal) just don't want THAT feeling to be there..I want to be in the here and now not some scary place that I fear and at the time I can't find a way out of it. We know we have had good days though and will get more and more good ones! Let's be positive!
I agree! Positivity!! Even with the doom aside. Like right now I feel ok although I know it isn't far away if you get me. I still worry that I will not get my normal life back. Work and social etc. It has been 2 months now and although I am getting better. I still feel like this is it now. Maybe it's just today but I really want to just forget anxiety and wake up 9 weeks ago before all this returned!!
We have overcome it before so we CAN do it again Positive mental attitude (oh I so wish I could believe myself all the time...lol) :D
You are right Annie! I am going to take a few deep breaths and pop some lavender on my pillow:yesyes:..have a good sleep and wake up positive tomorrow!!!
---------- Post added at 22:17 ---------- Previous post was at 22:16 ----------
Me and my ex used to refer to it as The Fog :( That overwhelming gloom like you'll never be happy again...
It is my worst thing.
Don't forget to spray the rescue night in your mouth...not on the pillow! lol
Don't forget to spray the rescue night in your mouth...not on the pillow! lol
I forgot about that stuff!! lol Thanks! x
Sparkle1984
06-10-12, 23:12
I hope you'll have a better day tomorrow, Lu. :hugs:
Sleep is the only thing I can do to escape and even that is starting to prove difficult as I wake up in a panic attack the second I "remember" I am so sick of waking up and everyday feeling like such a long slog. I must of been a murderer in a past life!!
I was just thinking about this last sentence that you wrote, although I know it was not meant literally. It is something I mentioned to my counsellor last time I saw her..Is is because I did something bad in a past life or do I believe in regression? She said "I think you have had enough trauma in this life without going through regression and dragging up even more from a previous life!!"
Lol. That's true. Do you think it's just as simple as how we deal with when things go wrong? x
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