Scared to sleep

[Mrsg12]

I'm so scared to go to sleep in case I wake up with vertigo again. I'm so sick and tired of lying on my bed feeling as though I'm about to die. My gp asked me if I felt suicidal, how can I answer that. On one hand I'm googling "how to commit suicide painlessly" but on the other hand I'm terrified I'm about to die!! Nothing makes sense. I feel as though occasionally I'm not really here.

I hate being in my head.

I'll be checking posts throughout the night I guess as I'm too scared to sleep.

Xx

[Anxious_gal]

Being tired makes me dizzy, being dizzy makes me anxious :p
I read until I fall asleep without realizing it, or I'll listen to the radio.
It's not you want to die as much as you want to escape stress and anxiety.
It can be comforting to know there's an out.

[fozzy is crying]

I'm so scared to go to sleep in case I wake up with vertigo again. I'm so sick and tired of lying on my bed feeling as though I'm about to die. My gp asked me if I felt suicidal, how can I answer that. On one hand I'm googling "how to commit suicide painlessly" but on the other hand I'm terrified I'm about to die!! Nothing makes sense. I feel as though occasionally I'm not really here.

I hate being in my head.

I'll be checking posts throughout the night I guess as I'm too scared to sleep.

Xx

Awe we are here for you :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[Stormsky]

I read you say your terrified of the vertigo...you have to lose this fear of it, it's what keeps it coming...
Somehow you've got to get to a place where you say 'ok if it comes then it comes, I will be ok, I've delt with it before, and it won't kill me'...
Don't spend all your time worrying about it, thinking about it..this just gives the fear of it more power...
The less you fear it, the less you worry about it, the easier it becomes to overcome.
Sounds like your worrying mind has developed depersonalisation as a symptom of all this too.

[kt79]

oh bless you, the mind can play horrible tricks on us at times. Have you been to the doctors about this? medication and therapy might help. valarian is good to calm you at night aswell and lavender oil. I think sleep related anxiety is so hard because other things you can use distraction methods but as your going to sleep all you have are your thoughts. :hugs:

[Mrsg12]

Thank you for your replies guys. It helps to hear other people's thoughts and makes me feel less alone.

I slept on and off last night, waking now and then to "check" if I had vertigo. I still feel unbalanced but im trying to ignore it.

I took my little boy to the park today and was ok but kept being hit with waves of dizziness and sadness thinking that everyone else is enjoying themselves and I'm dying... It's a horrible disconnected feeling. Is that what depersonalisation is?

I'm home now but my eyes feel weird, they feel heavy and tired so now I can feel brain tumour anxiety coming. I just wish this would go away. I'm not on medication as I came off escotalopram 3 years ago. I really don't want to go back on it because I suffered with side effects and I'm pull phobic. I'm waiting for a counselling appointment to come through but I've been fighting this anxiety for over 20 years and I feel like I haven't got any energy left now :weep:
Thanks for the support xx