View Full Version : Worried about breast cancer
Hi I only discovered this site yesterday and feel relieved that I am not the only person in the world who feels like this (because that is what it feels like at the moment). I used to experience health anxiety when I was 11-17 years of age, but never really sought help for it. I have a wonderful family, husband and 3 beautiful children and a great career (health professional).
Unfortunately last week health anxiety feared its ugly head. I am now 34 and at the moment am struggling to cope. I found a spot, yes a spot on my breast and I am now convinced I am dying. I can't get the feelings and thoughts out of my head. I have seen my gp who says she is not concerned that it is cancer that it is just a skin issue, so why do I still think I have breast cancer. I have so many intrusive thoughts going through my head, about my funeral, my children having no mother. I am constantly touching the area on my breast, which by the way is practically non existent to what it was, and I still think I have breast cancer. The thoughts are escalating and I feel like I am going mad. I can't eat and can't sleep and at the moment I am at uni and I need to be able to concentrate, it's affecting my daily life to the point where I can't cope. My gp has prescribed diazepam and propranolol which are slightly helping and she has also referred me for CBT but I know there is a waiting list. I just want these thoughts to go away. Can anyone give me any advice to get me through this crisis.
:lac:
You have had the reassurance from your doctor and you just need to trust him/her. If they had been in any way concerned they would have done further tests.
Thanks for that Annie, but I am finding it sooooooo difficult to trust at the moment, even to the point I phoned the gp after I saw her to check that she wasn't concerned. This anxiety is making me feel so sick, does anyone have any advice on how I can get rid of these intrusive thoughts and think rationally.
Anxiety makes me feel really sick too but I always feel better after I get the reassurance from my doctor. I hope your wait for CBT won't be too long, it is awful that we have to wait so long for this on the NHS.
I still have the lump on my breast but it has gone down significantly, gp says it is fine but I still can't get these thoughts to go away...I'm at my wits end :(
If it has gone down and your GP says it will be fine, then it will be fine. If it was anything more serious it would have got bigger not smaller. Your doctor knows what he is talking about and would have sent you straight for a mammogram if he thought it could be anything else. Also remember that a lot of lumps in breasts are harmless anyway.
Hi Lovely
I'm really sorry you feel this way.You're not alone. Over the years I have realized I just need to trust my doctor - which is easier said than done. I am having to trust her at the moment about a mole on my neck that has flared up , convinced its melanoma :weep: she said she will review it in a month:ohmy: way too long for my liking but she has been dealing with me for years and has referred me for things like breast lumps.
Your dr sounds good in that she has referred you for CBT.
And you said your spot is getting better. :hugs:Thats great.
Big hugs.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm finding it really hard to trust what she is saying...she did a full breast examination and said it was just skin problem and she wasn't concerned at all. I can't feel a lump inside my breast feels more like a lump on the surface but I'm constantly touching it. She didn't want to see me again for my breast but I am seeing her tomorrow for a review of my anxiety. I also had to see the emergency gp at 10 pm last week as my anxiety had become uncontrollable, he also looked at my breast and said he wasn't concerned...so why am I still feeling like this...I just want it to go away :weep:
This is what health anxiety does to you . Honestly Drs have strict guidelines they have to follow when it comes to anything suspicious. I really really do know how desperate you feel I have been in your position so many times and its hell, BUT you will get through it, you really will. Talk to your Dr about how bad your anxiety is again tomorrow, is your Dr sympathetic? Do you have family you can talk to.
Hugs.xxxxx
I did have family I could talk to but I have driven them to despair with my constant need for reassurance. My husband has no understanding or tolerance of mental health problems, and my mum now says she's fed up of me constantly asking her about it. Feel so alone, but also relieved I discovered this site yesterday. Felt like I was going mad. Thank you for your support :hugs: xxx
Well you can always come on here. Always someone about. I find it reassuring to read about other peoples experiences. You can also message me too if you want to chat. Don't suffer alone.
Love and hugs.xxxx
No problem, that is what we are here for to help and reassure each other :) xx
I do wish my brain would shut off!! :weep:
Well been to the gp again tonight, for my anxiety. I showed her my breast lump which she said is now half the size and she is not in the least bit concerned about it. But she didn't know what to do about y anxiety. She discussed it with another gp who recommended they refer me to the breast clinic, not for my breast, but for my anxiety, to reassure me it is nothing. Now I'm even more worried concerned scared that the are lying to me and that they do think it is something serious which is why they are referring me. My gp has promised me that they are only referring me for reassurance not for the lump, so why can't I get that in my head, please bad thoughts leave me alone now!!!!!!
I am sure they are just sending you for reassurance because they know it is making you very anxious worrying about it. If they thought it was serious they would have sent you straight for a mammogram. :)
Just so scared and desperate for these feelings and thoughts to stop :weep:
---------- Post added at 20:06 ---------- Previous post was at 18:57 ----------
Just feel so desperate at the moment, my gp wouldn't prescribe me anymore diazepam, but has prescribed amitriptyline instead :wacko:
I have had an appointment through for the breast clinic on October 22nd. The paranoia has now kicked in and I am convinced that the GP is concerned about my breast, although she has assured me and promised me she is only referring me for my anxiety. She thinks if I hear it froma a specialist that there is no problem that it might alleviate my anxiety, in the meantime I have to try and cope with my anxiety increasing!!! Why can't I believe and trust what the gp is saying to me?? She has said there is nothing wrong with my breast so please somebody help me to believe this :weep:
We can only reassure you that the doctor will know that you are fine...you are the only one who can believe it, we can't make you believe it (sorry I don't want to seem harsh). The doctor has told you that he is referring you just because he knows you are getting really anxious about it and thinks that is the only way you will accept that you are fine. Trust your doctor :)
So fed up of feeling like this now!!! Just want a magic wand to wave to make it all go away xxx
I'm exhausted I'm aching this HA is really knocking me for six. I have no one to talk to who understands or has any patience with me...at uni doing a degree and finding it so hard to focus :weep:
I've now got very slight twinges in my chest, now convinced myself I have bone cancer...why won't my brain work properly its driving me to despair :(
---------- Post added at 18:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:03 ----------
I just need help :ohmy:
I know how you feel, I feel as if I have breast cancer as well and I am sure I have it and the doctors are not finding it. I am to the point that I want the breast gone ! I also was scared of bone cancer but I do know that it does show up on x rays so if your worried maybe go for a chest x ray! I also panic that my kids could get cancer, it's weard since I lost my baby in January my life has changed so so much, I am scared of losing the kids I have now to something, I have even had them for x rays and blood work just to check and it all comes back good but I'm never convinced! I don't mean to get off topic just wanted you to know your not alone, health anxiety is a serious thing that effects a persons life dramatically. I hope things work out for you and I am sure they will, keep your chin up and smile.
HA is affecting me so badly at the moment I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I now have twinges under my right arm so this is reinforcing my thoughts that I have breast cancer. I'm so scared. I'm crying all the time about my kids growing up without me. I just want to feel better :weep:
The twinges you are feeling are probably because you are so anxious
Do you think all the aches I'm getting (they are not painful, just twinges) in arms legs chest head are all to do with the anxiety. This is really worrying me I have no one at home who wants to talk to me anymore. I just need help!!!
---------- Post added at 14:36 ---------- Previous post was at 14:22 ----------
I also stopped the diazepam 2 days ago that I had been taking for 2weeks approx 10mg daily, I am wondering whether the aches are to do with this. I started amitriptyline 2 nights ago, this is making me really tired in the day, only 10 mg at night, anyone else experienced this? X
---------- Post added at 17:40 ---------- Previous post was at 14:36 ----------
Can anyone suggest how to stop these thoughts :(
ElectricAlice
11-10-12, 18:06
Hi there,
I just read through your whole post and I know EXACTLY where you're coming from :( As a sufferer from health anxiety for the last 2 years. Your describing the unfortunate cycle the mind works in.
last year I was convinced I had breast cancer because my boobs are quite lumpy. Weirdly. And one was warmer (don't ask haha - just my imagination creating reasons, etc) - I was literally CONVINCED.
I went to the DR's 3 times and in the end they said to send me to the breast clinic. Like you, I felt even more terrified, thinking it was because something was wrong.
I had pain in my boob, in my arm, under my armpit - all because I was constantly feeling my boob. It was red, sore, because I was always prodding it.
I even got a pair of tweezers to it once because I thought something was stuck inside it. Safe to say there wasn't anything.
My body seemed to create so many aches and pains because I was so tense.
The appointment came, I was fine. They practically laughed at my concerns. Had the scan and everything was okay.
You will be too.
The DR sent me to the app because she was actually concerned about the lumpyness, turns out it was microcysts - nothing to worry about.
And your DR isn't even worried. If she had the SLIGHTEST bit of concern she would have told you. Because they can't take any chances, at all (law suits)
my advice to you, it'll be hard, but if you follow it I promise you'll feel a million times better. I promise.
1 - stop seeking reassurance and listen to your own logic & positive reasoning.
2 - stop checking your breasts.
3 - never google.
:hugs:
Thank you so much that really helps...not sure for how long though. I went to the breast clinic earlier in the year February because of a change in my breasts and think that is why I am so fixated on the breast issue, although I have suffered ha since I was about 10. It has been manageable for about 15 years but has returned with a vengeance.
Thank you for sharing your story with me.
:hugs:
ElectricAlice
11-10-12, 23:09
:hugs: anytime x
I can completely understand where you are coming from, as I am just the same. I have had a fear of breast cancer since I was 13, and also had some issues earlier this year. I have had 2 courses of Cbt which helped with the general anxiety but not with this. Every no and then I get very down about it. I can't even touch or look at my breasts anymore, having a shower each morning is quite stressful. I contacted my old cbt therapist yesterday for advice, she told me to back to my gp and ask him to refer me for a course of mindfulness based cognitive therapy which can offer me a different way to deal with my thoughts. I am going to do this, I feel so bad I would jump at the chance of a double mastectomy! I tried medication but the citalopram made me really ill, propanalol calms me down but doesn't take the thoughts away
I woke up this morning and feel so anxious...i wasn't too bad yesterday overall, but today I feel so scared and worried. Got to go to uni can't even focus my brain on that, when am I going to get better. Please someone help me :(
I'm having a bad day too, forced myself to go to work, I have a gp appointment this afternoon where I am asking for a referral for mindfulness cbt but there is a waiting list. I would ask for medication but I too am at uni and need to be able to drive to get there and concentrate and return to work next week.
I have these setbacks regularly and the only way I get over them is to try to allow the thoughts to pass away without paying them any attention, it's quite a skill to be able to recognise that you are deep in thought ruminating over and over; what if, could it be, what was I worried about again?!? When you realise what your doing try to let the thought go. See it for what it is; a thought, nothing more, just a negative thought. The more you are able to do this the thoughts get smaller and less often. I found meditation helps, there are lots of resources on the Internet.
Keep in touch, maybe we can help each other xx
Well had a really terrible ha day...went to gp this afternoon (again) just really didn't think I could get through the weekend feeling like this. She looked at my breast and said she doesn't think it is cancer and she agrees with the gp I've seen twice already. She said it feels like there may have been a pimple under my skin and it may be scar tissue, feel a bit reassured at the moment but for how long that is the question??? She also prescribed me lyrica apparently it has recently been licensed for anxiety disorder and works quicker than older drugs, also give me some diazepam...I do hope I start feeling better soon :weep:
---------- Post added at 19:14 ---------- Previous post was at 16:42 ----------
Well that reassurance didn't last long :weep:
Well I felt ok last night had diazepam that settled me down then started taking the lyrica that the gp prescribed, felt like a zombie but thoughts weren't affecting me like they had been. Woke up this morning and they are back, I hope I feel better soon :(
Stick with the meds it will take a while to get into your system, they can be wonderful once they start to work. Have you ever tried mindfulness meditation? I found that has helped to calm me in the past, just wished I stuck with doin it daily then I wouldn't be like this now
My student support lady sent me some stuff on that yesterday...I just feel its never going to go...wish I could believe what my gp are telling me...I want my normal life back...my poor husband and kids I love them so much and I'm making them miserable...hope you feel better soon :hugs:
I want to be better now :lac:
I've never felt this desperate...I just want my normal life back :mad:
Hi
So sorry your feeling so bad still, my mood seems to be lifting, but thats because I can put all of my past cbt training into action. Have you tried reading up on cbt techniques or doing an online course.
Problem with anxiety is there is no quick cure, I just wanted to take a pill and make it all go away, but thats not how it works.
We need to help the brain to work in a different way, and that takes time. The medication just helps us along, it wont cure you. You have to work at it too.
In my case the propanalol helps to conrol the anxiety symptoms - but not the negative thoughts, it just helps me to cope a bit better with them. Then I can put the cbt and mindfulness techniques into action.
Once I realise that its the thoughts that are causing me to feel bad, I can 'try' to allow them to pass away without paying them any attention. Eventually them go away for good, but only if you practice this way of thinking all the time.
What are you studying at uni if you dont mind me asking?
Well another bad morning and I've got to try and function at uni. I am getting so low with this now xx
When am I going to start feeling better??? I want to stop worrying, finding it really hard to cope with :weep:
almamatters
15-10-12, 21:10
I hope you are feeling better soon, I can so relate to your posts xxx
Been to gp again this morning as having twinges in my right armpit and arm opposite side to the sort of lump. I have no managed to convince myself that cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. The gp examined me again and said she can't feel anything...she wouldn't lie to me would she? :weep:
almamatters
16-10-12, 09:27
The GP would not lie to you, their jobs are at stake, I am exactly the same as you though, I once asked a GP if they were telling me I was fine to make me feel better! He looked at me like I was barking mad. I think if , like me you are very anxious no amount of reassurance is enough sometimes. There is always that nagging doubt at the back of our minds. I know where you are coming from, am struggling myself at the moment. :hugs:
I hate this its awful...i wish I could say something to help you at the moment :hugs:
I'm in the same place as you and know just how you feel, but I have completed my course of CBT (twice) and one of the things they tell you is that by constantly seeking reassurance you are fueling your anxieties. You need to learn to believe the Dr, they will not lie to you. The more you think about your breast, the more your brain concentrates on it and creates real sensations and pains. Once you take your mind off it - the sensations will go away its all part of the anxiety.
The Claire Weeks books are good, they explain how your mind creates real sensations- but that they are just anxiety.
One of the things they do in cbt is ask you to close your eyes and concentrate really hard on your knee. As you do this you start to feel sensations in your knee, some people feel pain etc. This demonstrates to you the power of your mind. The trick is to recognise this and empower yourself to use this to your advantage. Once you start to re-train your brain - through neuroplacticity the brain changes the way it thinks- this has been proved in research where they have carried out MRI scans.
It is hard - but it does work and the power is in your hands, no amount of reassurance from your GP will work - your constant seeking of it is like an OCD compulsion - as is constantly checking and going through mental rituals (I know as this is exactly how my mind works too). I also read a book about OCD which helped me to understand.
Sorry for the long reply, you really can get better, please try to stop going to your doctor, it will help to make those thoughts start to recede xx
I so want to feel normal again :weep:
Sending you huge hugs. I sooooooo know how you feel. I'm waiting for my appt to come through from the clinic & although I was ok yesterday, I'm freaking out today. I feel sick, my armpit is sore (on side of lump) & I just feel Ill & achy. Want to cry or scream but I can't. Thing is, I've had this lump for years now & it's never bothered me now so I can't understand why I'm suddenly freaked out about it. Keep having heart palps & I feel clammy. Don't know what to do with myself. You're not alone but it really sounds like you will be ok. xx
Thank you...like you said you don't know what to do with yourself...feeling physically unwell, I just want to get back to enjoying my life and normality as this period of ha has lasted for 4 weeks so far...worst I've ever been...hugs to you too xxx
Thank you honey. Trying really hard to shut my mind off but almost impossible. Night-time is worse. Takes me ages to get to sleep & I then I wake up numerous times & my heart sinks. Really need to get passed this! xxx
And you will...just takes time xxxxxxx
Well I had my appointment at the breast clinic today, had an ultrasound and a physical examination, and thank god there was nothing that showed up, other than a large cyst and various smaller cysts that I already knew about. The consultant was not at all concerned, in fact he made me feel like I was wasting his time :( I do feel slightly relieved, but still don't feel back to myself, perhaps I am expecting too much after the way I have felt for 4 weeks :huh:
Really pleased for you hun. I was thinking about you today. Better to waste his time than to be sat in fear worrying! You've been so hyped up lately that it'll take a few days for your emotions to come down.... but they will. Sending huge hugs. xx
So pleased it went well for you x
My moms left breast leaks(yellow) for a couple of months. is it a sign of cancer?
It is probably just am infected duct. She should have a doctor look at it anyway, but probably nothing serious!
Thank you Justina, She thinks like this too, but I am worried for her
Well I knew this would happen, I hate HA, all clear from breast specialist, yes that's right I have now latched onto something else, I have a spot on my neck that I am convinced is something conspicuous, it's a spot god damn you HA, leave me alone :weep:
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