View Full Version : Anyone get flustered whilst in the supermarket?!
MissLady83
07-10-12, 19:57
This sounds very strange and I can't understand it myself but I get really nervous and flustered when I'm in the supermarket, even more so when I'm at the check out and eyes are in me... Is it just me??? Strange thing is this anxiety :)
fozzy is crying
07-10-12, 20:01
This sounds very strange and I can't understand it myself but I get really nervous and flustered when I'm in the supermarket, even more so when I'm at the check out and eyes are in me... Is it just me??? Strange thing is this anxiety :)
All the time. You are not alone in this.
I go in the middle of the night say 3am and use the self checkouts.
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
Gordon
MRS STRESS ED
07-10-12, 20:06
yep the dreaded supermarket gets me everytime ,and thats a great idea going in the night i never thought of that, and im always awake lol flaming anxiety xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:D
I have exactly the same problem and I know that exposure is supposed to help, but I go to the supermarket everyday and still get paranoid. I hate passing people and often turn around and walk the other way. I have a fear of making eye contact with the staff and get overwhelmed because there is so much choice.
I could keep going on and on.
I nearly passed out in Tesco today!!
MissLady83
07-10-12, 20:13
It's a strange thing isn't it because I enjoy shopping and love getting food to cook up a storm but by heck that damn supermarket I feel myself going really red. Horrible is this anxiety!! :)
Me too...walk around in a daze and feel like I am going to faint at the checkout.
MissLady83
07-10-12, 20:23
I used to always order online then i wouldn't have to face it, but i pushed myself to " man up " and I go in my local supermarket a lot as its just round the corner but the anxiety never goes ha :)
fozzy is crying
07-10-12, 20:25
I used to always order online then i wouldn't have to face it, but i pushed myself to " man up " and I go in my local supermarket a lot as its just round the corner but the anxiety never goes ha :)
No one around here delivers. Especially to Bears in the Woods. :weep:
I get this too, I find it very daunting and always feel dizzy and derealisation. It's like I'm there but I'm not and I'm always in such a hurry to just grab what I need and get out!! Oh and those damn queues....:w00t2:you are cetainly not alone. Kitti x
paranoidtree
07-10-12, 20:39
me too! sometimes i'm ok, but others times i have to just grab what i need and run! Today was ok in Sainsburys with my husband but it was hard work at times. Damn anxiety!
MissLady83
07-10-12, 20:54
Bears in the woods ha get yourself to the nearest stream and see if there's some fresh salmon about! Yeah the queues make me more flustered then ill see someone i know and they kindly comment on how red my face is and if I've been using the sun beds ha ney :) x
fozzy is crying
07-10-12, 20:55
me too! sometimes i'm ok, but others times i have to just grab what i need and run! Today was ok in Sainsburys with my husband but it was hard work at times. Damn anxiety!
It really is a sod. When you go out as infrequent as me you have to stock up on toilet rolls as a first priority in grab and run. [no pun intended :roflmao:]
Gordon
It really is a sod. When you go out as infrequent as me you have to stock up on toilet rolls as a first priority in grab and run. [no pun intended :roflmao:]
Gordon
and DRINK obviously :roflmao:
fozzy is crying
07-10-12, 21:05
and DRINK obviously :roflmao:
Of course but unless they deliver it I have to go to the Tesco Direct in store between 8am and 8pm to get my order. Their desk is not open at 3am :weep:
Luckily I have a people carrier to stock up.
Gordon
MissLady83
07-10-12, 21:09
I want to upload a picture but can find the options for it anywhere, just joined and this is a big forum ha ;)
fozzy is crying
07-10-12, 21:13
I want to upload a picture but can find the options for it anywhere, just joined and this is a big forum ha ;)
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/usercp.php
will get you to the control panel to add a pic.
You could also email it to the guys. Oops not that sort of site. :blush:
Gordon
I also get this in shops or waiting to queue in a shop. Feel very uneasy and hot and dizzy. I find going in the early hours when it is less busy helps and I feel a lot more at ease.
Alabasterlyn
09-10-12, 12:32
I think the lighting in these kinds of shops makes us feel worse as it's always very bright and if my head isn't feeling too good I will wear my sunglasses in Tesco, even though I sometimes get some odd looks. I have also noticed a few other things that make me more anxious that people without anxiety most likely don't even notice. Firstly the lighting changes colour depending on where in the store you are. The freezer and chilled foods aisles tend to have a whiter light than the rest of the shop. I also notice how some aisles seem to be very noisy but when you go to the ones that have lots of boxes in them they seem to cushion the noise and it's kinda quiet. For me both of those things used to trigger a panic as I thought it was my anxiety kicking off and I would want to rush out. Now I realise it's just how the stores are and it doesn't bother me as much.
MissLady83
09-10-12, 19:18
Horrible isn't it, I'm always wary of going red when in shops etc so it makes it worse when you're thinking of it ha vicious circle.
Yep.
I was just in Lidl. This is the worst supermarket because I always get particularly anxious. It feels like you have to move all your stuff to the bagging area pronto and pay at the same time as putting your shopping away! Ahh!
I get worried about forgetting anything as well and I always take ages choosing things - Has to be the yogurt pot without a crack in (I accidentally bought one and now I don't wanna eat it!!)
Going with someone else to the shops makes me anxious as well because I feel like I take too long and I'm so indecisive. I worry they get fed up and think I'm crazy.
I too go to the shops regularly and it doesn't seem to get better but then I don't think I really do anything to stop the thoughts that are making me anxious. Sometimes I am in my own little world and I block out the fact there are other people that could be looking/judging me. But that doesn't always work especially if I drop something because I am so clumsy! :(
I find just focusing on what I need to do helps but I usually get distracted by these silly thoughts.. Though I think it's rational to choose the item in the best condition because of the money.
I rarely make eye contact with staff or even know what to say to them. My boyfriend chats to them and I just think whats the point they probably don't care or want to talk to you but I'm sure it probably makes their day a bit more interesting and makes them feel like a human being rather than a cashier robot.
I think I have almost had panic attacks in shops because there have been too many people around and it's felt like I can't get out.
I wish I could give all of you a great big hug. I love supermarket shopping, a lot of people think that strange, but when I was at my worst it became a nightmare. I used to look at other people and wonder "why me" "why am I feeling like this" I remember once sobbing uncontrollably at the checkout, the poor lady on the tills did not know what to say.
Exposure in very small doses helped me. I would tell myself that I was going to the supermarket but that I was only going to spend 5 minutes in there and then come out. Each time I would set myself a longer time limit. I found that this really helped, and sometimes I would be there for a much longer period. Also I found that going with a friend really helped. Dont let the anxiety win.
I absolutely hate supermarkets, this it where i get the most panic and anx.
I could shop on line but i dont want the anx to get the better of me
I used to get this when my anxiety first started. I think it was just a coincidence that I had my first ever panic attack in Homebase. Just suddenly came over dizzy, faint & sick out of nowhere. I dreaded going to shops for ages after that & when I did I would feel panicked just remembering that experience. I can still get a bit nervous at times but that's the scar anxiety has left. xx
MissLady83
22-10-12, 20:28
It can be a nasty vicious circle! :)
I still go to the shops but I get wary of going really red and panic setting in, I need to try and ignore it ha xx
xBettyBoopx
22-10-12, 22:59
This sounds very strange and I can't understand it myself but I get really nervous and flustered when I'm in the supermarket, even more so when I'm at the check out and eyes are in me... Is it just me??? Strange thing is this anxiety :)
So many times that I couldn't count:mad: I have walked out without getting served a few times but mostly I put up with it.
MissSunshine
23-10-12, 14:00
Oh defiantly me. Ive had a few experience in the supermarket, asda mainly the lighting is bright i once had eye floaters and couldn't see!! so i dont go there very often i prefer online shopping ;) less stressful!
I like on line shopping best, i always sem to miss something out though.
Some supermarkets are not bad, but asda is a no no for me .
The atomsphere is terrible and so claustrophobic
I hate food shopping! I can't do it anymore. I used to go on my own and found the whole process extremely stressful, especially the check-out bit and packing bags. My hands would be shaking and I'd be trying to do it as quickly as possible as thought people were thinking "Hurry up!" I wouldn't be calm again until I got home and I'd have to sit down and calm myself down before I could put the stuff away. But now, I make sure my hubby comes with me and he drives. It's amazing how much easier it is with someone else taking charge! So now I only go if he's there or I do it online! I'm not putting myself through that hell every week when I don't need to :D
---------- Post added at 16:08 ---------- Previous post was at 15:57 ----------
That reminds me my OCD really kicks in with shopping. I can never pick something out in the front row of a shelf - it has to be at least the second one back. I'm paranoid people have tampered with things and as crazy as this sounds, poisoned them! For instance, I bought a couple of cartons of fruit juice the other day. I opened one and it didn't have a ring pull or a foil seal and it didn't even click when I opened it. Needless to say, it went straight in the bin! I've done this with food before when I've noticed the packaging has been slightly ripped, I'll throw it away. It's ridiculous, but if I ate it I'd be worrying for the next 24 hours if I was going to get ill and die!
Hmm it feels quite good to get that off my chest!
MissLady83
23-10-12, 16:29
Yes asda is a funny one for me too, the lighting makes me feel dizzy it's too bright, it's the worry of people seeing me flustered and a big red face, ha!
Joanna it must be even more stressful for you, my younger sister has OCD and it gets her very frustrated but she also has learning disabilities so she can't express herself about it and talk it through which must drive her mad!! I'd love to know what's going on in her head so I could help her xx
I didn't even realise I had OCD and am still not convinced, but I suppose behaviour like that would indicate I do have it, although I wouldn't say I'm too bad, yet! :blush:
Aww your poor sister, it must be very frustrating for her. At least we can talk openly about our problems, albeit on a website! I could never talk to anyone about all this stuff as they wouldn't understand. At least talking to people who can relate to you, you don't feel so crazy :)
MissLady83
23-10-12, 16:49
This is it, talking things through, most of the time does give you a clearer head and make you feel abit better, but my sister can't do this, she also has a rare disorder and is autistic plus going through the typical hormonal teenage years which is bad enough.
She's got a fantastic family round her though :)
I buy almost everything online bar food.
I tend now only to go to Lidl and Aldi at about 7.30 at night as they are always empty, I know there exactly where are all the things are that I need and the aisles are quite wide so its the best of a bad lot.
Sainsbury, Tescos, Asda and those big places really effect me, not so much the shop but the people around me, like most things, its always other people that ruin everything!
Ive had several major panic attacks and anger issues in these places so its always on my mind when I go to them
hi just bren readin the fprum,i cant gp to a supermarket cause of thos
I cant believe what a gem I have found in this forum, I never knew so many people have the same feelings I do about supermarkets. I have read through the comments & cant help but get emotional about it - its a great relief to know i am not alone.
I am ok until I get to the check out & then wallop - hands shake, legs are like jelly & I want to run :(
Frightened_guy
09-11-12, 17:55
O yeah for sure, supermarkets are my pet hate! i always try to use self checkout to avoid hoomens! i can only really go in for a few items at a time i could never relax and stroll leisurely around with a huge trolley then unpack it onto the conveyor belt and interact with the checkout assistant! :(
positivepanicattacks
09-11-12, 18:49
I use to suffer from this. The strange this is you know you should'nt be panicking but you can't help it. Supermarkets and DIY stores use to give me massive panic attacks especialy at checkouts. Queueing was my worst nightmare. Also the lights in these places made be anxious. I remember once be frozen with fear in B&Q and having to sit down on one of the patio chairs. How the hell I managed to get out the shop I don't know.
So what helped me ...........
If I vigoursly exercised before I went in the supermarket it would kind of burn away all the bad stressy chemicals and give me the endorphin feel good type chemicals. It made me more relaxed and able to breathe better.
I took a leaf out of the great claire weekes books and accepted the feelings. I also went one step futher and i would hope I would feel panicky. When your trying to have a panic attack you can't seem to have (if you get me!)
Big change was actually making a mental note of what my self talk was when i was panicking. I did what most people do and was saying to myself - this time I'm going to die, this time people will know I'm going crazy, I hate queues, etc, etc
I then, when i was calmer, told myself time and time again I was healthy, I was perfectably capable of shopping, I feel bloody fantastic in queues and continued this sef talk when i was in the shop.
I would also take my heaphones and mp3 player in the supermarket with a relaxation recording to get it into my brain not to panic.
I also tried to distract myself by hunting for new exciting things for my tea.
I would also recommend that you eat heathly as entering any shops when i was hungover or eaten rubbish just made me ten times worse.
It took a while but I eventually banished my demons.
If I was you I woud start small and go in and buy one item when its quiet and build your confidence up again. Try to get to the bottom of what your really thinking when you panic. Always remember panic and anxiety cannot harm you. Once you realize this and that you don't have to be perfect it can help alot.
Good luck & never give up trying to beat it!
I cant do supermarkets at all, I can do small shops but panic at the checkout. I don't do big shops on my own...I built up gradually and had a trolley full one day, put it all on the checkout, freaked out, threw it all back in my trolley and ran and hid in the toilets. BF had to come rescue me! I hate them so much!
I just wanted to say thank you for the above posts :) I decided to bite the bullet & chat to my husband about my "shopping fears" & why I do some of the things I do ... like make excuses not to go shopping or walk away when faced with a que etc.
I was dreading it as sometimes he is a don`t be such an arse ... just get on with it type of guy...he wasn`t. He listened...I cried..:weep: he tried to understand .. after all its just shopping to him !!! we talked more & more & he eventually understood :hugs:
Today I felt less anxious about going shopping ... i wasn`t thrilled at going but with my hubbys support I got through it, we found a shorter que to stand in, he kept asking me what I was feeling, what I wanted to do ... I wanted to walk away but before I knew it I was helping to pack the shopping away. I did look around for an escape route a couple of times..but i didnt go down it :yesyes:
I walked out pushing the trolley with the biggest grin on my face .... & tears in my eyes.
I am not saying that I will be ok from now on ... but what I am saying is that I wish I had spoken to him before as I am sure things would not have gotten so bad. Having somewhere to turn to is the best help I have had ... so thanks to you all & of course my hubby for helping me to start to get through these fears.
If I find any coping strategies that help me... i will of course share them with you all xxx keep your chin up guys we will get there xxx
almamatters
11-11-12, 08:59
I left my shopping at the checkout and ran out last time I was in the supermarket. I then forgot where my car was parked, felt like I could not breathe and had to ask one of the trolley collectors to help me! Safe to say have not been back since. It makes me so sad that I have come to this. I used to go shopping on my own all the time and never have a problem . :weep:
I just hate shopping and more so if i,m anxious, peeps ducking in front of you, hogging the aisles, misspriced and out of stock items and then the dreaded queue at the end lol, so my theory if you can handle the supermarket you can handle anything :wacko:
D.
almamatters
11-11-12, 11:55
Wanted to add about OCD and shopping, when my anxiety problems started, I used to go to the supermarket, but always had to do the shopping in a certain order i.e. up and down the aisles in the order they came and absolutely could not veer off course. Made it difficult when I forgot something as had to start from the first aisle again and work round .CBT therapist helped me overcome this and I did break the cycle but unfortunately developed panic attacks not long after and that is where I am now. Oh well. :flowers:
Went shopping on Sunday .. with hubby for support of course .. so sick of this feeling so have got to do something about it for the sake of my 10yr old :(
I went to a retail park (shopping centres ...no no !!) as had to get a few things, had a bit of a blip & felt such a plonker.
What helped me though was to think of something that really made me laugh ... I sorted this out before we went so i had something ready to use... I also made a list of the things i needed to get ... they may sound silly things but they did help a bit .. as it was something to take my mind off thinking "what if I go dizzy, what if I feel faint, what if I faint" moments.
Anyone else have any coping mechanisms they use ???
Should also say ... knowing this forum is here helped me too on Sunday, I kept thinking "come on girl ... you can do it" knowing you are not on you own really does help xxxxxx
Gonzo 1958, thanks for that about supermarkets if you can handle them you can handle anything, bit of inspiration!
I can't believe how many people get this, why ?? I have it most of the time ( getting better now ), usually the minute I step into one = meltdown! Isn't it bizarre. I think it's the busyness, the lights and too much to focus on, all the high stacked isles. It's awful awful! When I started with panic attacks for the very first time last year, I'd go into supermarkets but I'd never go right to the back, the further away from the exit sign I got - id start to feel panicy??? Right now I don't know what I do to cope, maybe I'm generally a bit all round healthier in myself BUT now ( sometimes ) I go to the back and don't even think about it but I think it's because I'm that p***** off and the panics gone on and on, so I know if Ive not collapsed by now, Im not going to collapse, so I must just think sod it, go and get what you need you'll be fine???
Reassuring to know its not just me :winks:
I just hate shopping and more so if i,m anxious, peeps ducking in front of you, hogging the aisles, misspriced and out of stock items and then the dreaded queue at the end lol, so my theory if you can handle the supermarket you can handle anything :wacko:
D.
Haha, thats how it feels sometimes alright!
I used to have a phobia about going to shopping centres, especially big ones where I could not see the exit. I started having panic attacks, I don't have them as much now but I do feel a little overwhelmed at times. I found out that Fluro lights found in most shopping centres can induce a panic attack. This doesn't mean you should not go, as anxiety sufferers we all know if something scares us and we have developed phobias the more we need to expose ourselves to that fear. I seem to have my fears returning over and over again and in the past I have been able to overcome them.
Hi, I too had issues at the grocery stores. When i got in line it felt like the whole world was staring at me waiting on me to freek out. I would start sweating and getting flushed in my face. I started taking 100 mg of setraline and these issues seem to have stopped.
JeannetteK2
24-11-12, 10:56
All the time. You are not alone in this.
I go in the middle of the night say 3am and use the self checkouts.
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
Gordon
Hello, going to the supermarket is exactly the same as queuing up for theatre tickets or being stuck in a traffic jam. It's about feeling trapped. Yes, as some responders have suggested you can go to the supermarket in off-peak times, you might even delegate the task to your best friend. They're both about avoidance. Please consider trying this. In the comfort of your lounge room or bedroom, close your eyes. Breathe deeply. say: I'm leaving panic behind. Imagine yourself at the supermarket. Every bit of the trip. Up and down those aisles. Waiting for what seems like years at the checkout. Allow yourself in your imagination to feel the feelings of fear caused by the adrenaline rush. Then do this: do nothing. Just let the fear come (you're in your bedroom so you're safe), and let it go. You'll experience in that practice session what you'll eventually be able to experience in real life. By the time you're 'imagined' your supermarket fear-filled trip about six or ten times, it will occur to you. The fear or anxiety that you experience in the supermarket has to be fed and fuelled - by you tensing up against it. Ignore it and it dissipates. I promise you.
Not just you, supermarkets for me are one of the worst places on earth. I haven't been to one in a long time, I know it sounds strange but the lights in there don't help me at all I don't know why!
MissLady83
03-12-12, 23:48
It's the lighting and how busy the damn places are :) I try to go in as much as possible to face my fears
Hi. All. May I respectfully suggest that the book by Dr. Claire Weekes."Essential help for your Nerves" covers this ground completely. She got the MBE for her work on agoraphobia and researched it thoroughly. Going into a supermarket and facing your fears is right, but this must be accompanied by total acceptance. Not easy, I know. A lot of normal people may feel apprehensive about going to a supermarket, but most do not allow their fears to dominate them so consequently, they do not add second fear. The 'oh my goodness'; 'what if' etc. This is what sends us running out. Why, when we get outside do we feel better; but still shaken; more able to cope? Because when are outside we are not adding second fear. This second fear is really the killer. Calm down, take deep breaths and go forward with total acceptance. Not easy, but I have found it the only route to recovery, at least, for me. All the best. joe.
MissLady83
10-12-12, 16:25
I've heard a few people on here mention that book, think I'm gonna look it up :)
God yes, I defiantly do. Sometimes I'm ok & then soemtimes I can't wait to escape the hoards of people, the busy isles and the lights. Depends largely on my mood and if I'm feeling unwell.
A lot of people get this, unbelievable.
Shopping online , always an option. I know it's awful though :flowers:
No you're not alone, supermarket ques lately cause me to feel very panicky, it's horrible. I get anxious walking around the shops now too Xx
JeannetteK2
11-12-12, 00:10
Hi. All. May I respectfully suggest that the book by Dr. Claire Weekes."Essential help for your Nerves" covers this ground completely. She got the MBE for her work on agoraphobia and researched it thoroughly. Going into a supermarket and facing your fears is right, but this must be accompanied by total acceptance. Not easy, I know. A lot of normal people may feel apprehensive about going to a supermarket, but most do not allow their fears to dominate them so consequently, they do not add second fear. The 'oh my goodness'; 'what if' etc. This is what sends us running out. Why, when we get outside do we feel better; but still shaken; more able to cope? Because when are outside we are not adding second fear. This second fear is really the killer. Calm down, take deep breaths and go forward with total acceptance. Not easy, but I have found it the only route to recovery, at least, for me. All the best. joe.
Absolutely spot on. Dr Weekes, an Australian General Practitioner did a great deal to reach out to people who have anxiety, panic and other phobias. Her other book Peace from Nervous Suffering is also great and your local library will have copies. The Complete Self Help for your Nerves was updated in 2008 and it's all you'll need to create your path out of panic. When I read the posts, I get the feeling that some people have almost given up hope of a life without panic and anxiety. Please don't.
serendipity_x
12-12-12, 18:45
thank god for online shopping is all i'm gonna say.
I was once terrible in supermarkets! I would grab on to the trolly for dear life. Once I left my other half to find a tin opened. I went to the area I thought it was and started getting flustered. I then spotted it after a few dodgy moments with jelly legs ect. I then noticed there was a couple behind me and they gave me an odd look lol. I'm sure they thought I was on drugs.
You just need to keep pushing yourself. Go at different times in the day. When its hectic, and then when its not going to be so hectic. Build you confidence and face your fear. You will be surprised what you can do :)
Jellybeanz
15-12-12, 16:07
I work behind a till in a supermarket and STILL get overly nervous and self-conscious when putting stuff through for myself! I mean, when I'm scanning people's stuff through, my mind is usually elsewhere and I don't really pay much attention to how nervous or confident their behviour might come across as - you'd think I'd bear this in mind on the other side of the till but nope, heh.
I also happen to work in ASDA and completely agree about that dodgy lighting. Can hardly walk in a straight line after a long shift there. o.o
I figured this one out. Once at the till your commited, hard to escape when the lady is scanning your items, people behind you etc. And if you start shaking you wonder if the people behind you can see it, or the checkout dude thinks your mad. And that in itself makes things even worse. But as tesco's say.. "every little helps" That slogan was designed for panic suffers you know... so keep chipping away at the shopping thing.. it will get better in time.
That's when I panicked the other week, at the till. Awful shakes and heart racing:( it was a long wait whilst she scanned my shopping. I couldn't wait to get out:(
me too and i work in one, too many people and bright lights
Hi Miss Lady,
I know the feeling. I have done it a few times but have now just given up. I look at people who wander into large supermarkets intent on a big shop with the obvious check out stage at the end in amazement. I feel centre of attention, its all too bright, too many people, no way of leaving until its over arrgghhh. I just go to local stores now or shop online. Supermarkets are not nice places!
Best wishes
Eamon
MissLady83
07-12-13, 02:32
Just seen these replies as not been on in a long time. I'm still the same with supermarkets, I just laugh at myself now, get my headphones in and focus on the music. Failing that then just ram everyone in sight with my trolley haha jokes :)
It's the blushing I can't cope with, I go the same colour as a tomato, one woman at the self check out even asked if I'd been on the sunbed hahaha... I was like " erm..yeah!"
I had the same problem today. Supermarket was very busy and I felt panicy and dizzy.
So strange as supermarkets never bothered me before I was diagnosed with anxiety 2 months ago !!
yes I get this I feel everyone is looking at me
nervousboy
13-12-13, 00:21
I always feel like im being watched. I feel very consious of what clothes im wearing, how im walking, what im doing with my hands, wish my brain would switch off at times. this doesnt seem to be a problem when im with friends, only alone. i think i invent all these jusgements people are making of me
i get flustered when my wife starts buying broccoli and brussel sprouts :D
Yep, I know what you mean, I have had GAD for 3 years and when I went to my local Tesco I used to have have heart palpitations :wacko: I just can't stand crowded atmospheres like supermarkets, people judging you, if I bump into someone I know and they want to chat and all I want to do is get out of the supermarket. Im not as bad as I used to be now but when I do go now I feel very anxious.
almamatters
25-02-14, 18:03
Just re read this thread and I for one am still struggling with supermarkets, I do go shopping on my own now but I still suffer with the same feelings, breathlessness, dizziness, feeling faint, it's very weird. I was told by ENT doctor that it could be caused by sensory overload as there is so much to look at and so much movement. For some reason I get anxious when I know I have to use those trolleys where you have to put a £1 in :wacko:
Hi, I was completely agoraphobic a few months ago, couldn't leave the house at all! I'm well on the way to overcoming this but supermarkets still make my anxiety sky high! I found the best thing to do for me is to go with a list, an work round that, making my way from one side to the other. Also- with me the anxiety just makes me want to move really fast, I end up power walking! My counsellor has suggested I walk slowly even though it feels horrible, walk slower than normal. Eventually this calms the adrenaline, feels horrible at first but helps!
I work in a supermarket as a retail assistant and we are trained to not become so... impatient with people. I know how you feel about the immense amount of people shopping and pushing and shoving and such. WORKING at a supermarket for a start makes you feel even worse. I was so nervous especially being behind the kiosk serving impatient customers when I struggled to pack items or work the till.
Right now I feel so much better in supermarkets and get on with people who work there because I know how they feel and how the customer and colleagues feel in a rushed environment and it gets a hell of a lot easier adjusting to it. I ID young-looking customers all the time and I do get abuse, but you get over it because they're in the wrong, not you.
Anyways there's no need to rush in a supermarket or in other public places. I see plenty of people taking their time, walking like snails from aisle to aisle, counting their change like there's no tomorrow, but people around them will have to grow to be patient as am I. Don't worry about everyone else around you, they're too busy making their own decisions and having their own problems :)
messenoughclean
25-02-14, 22:55
I will pay & then get in a real flustered state...
The checkout transaction is completed.
The assistant is now waiting to start scanning the next customers items.
The next customer is now waiting patiently.
I am throwing my food items into bags as quick as I can, who cares what order. Heavy tins on top of eggs - thats fine. Huge bottles of Coke crushing a loaf of bread - who cares, I just want to be out of there.
I cannot remember the last time I came home from shopping with a unsquashed loaf of bread!
I used to get a bit like that - not from anxiety, this was during the time when I wasn't suffering but I've always been a bit generally awkward so I used to hate the feeling of holding people up.
I tell you what changed my mind - starting work as a support worker. I worked with adults with learning disabilities and would sometimes end up going shopping with them and more often than not they'd get muddled with their money or take a long time due to mobility or for whatever reason. Sometimes people could be a bit huffy and seeing it from an outside perspective, happening to someone that I was there helping completely changed my mind on it. Because it wasn't happening to me but to someone else (and someone who's wellbeing I cared about, albeit maybe only because I was being paid to care) made me indignant and I always made sure to tell them they could take all the time they needed. After a while I noticed a difference in my own checkout habits. Who cares if i took an extra few minutes, it's not going to kill the next person to wait, and if the till operator is that bothered they can offer to help me pack rather than just sitting there.
As I say i wasn't suffering at the time but the principal is the same I guess. If you're in a position to, take an elderly relative or similar to do their weekly shop - it might hit you the same!
For me it is all about the experience at the checkouts...
There is nothing worse than arriving at an empty checkout & the assistant watching as I start to load my stuff onto the conveyor belt, sometimes if I am really unlucky the assistant will be a 'super scanner' & scan items quicker than I can unload the trolley.
This will inevitably lead to my shopping all being scanned before I have managed to make a start on the bagging process. The checkout assistant will ask for the money, I will pay & then get in a real flustered state...
The checkout transaction is completed.
The assistant is now waiting to start scanning the next customers items.
The next customer is now waiting patiently.
I am throwing my food items into bags as quick as I can, who cares what order. Heavy tins on top of eggs - thats fine. Huge bottles of Coke crushing a loaf of bread - who cares, I just want to be out of there.
I cannot remember the last time I came home from shopping with a unsquashed loaf of bread!
Hahah! I usually pack bags for people anyways just out of kindness. Shopping assistants have to be friendly anyways, as am I! Always take you time, never mind the customer behind you ;) Us customer service assistants always concentrate on one customer at a time and wait for you to get ready and leave, well, as they should anyways!
You can't throw bottles of cola and tins ontop of eggs, that will defeat the whole purpose of shopping and ruin the lot and you will have wasted all your money?
almamatters
26-02-14, 06:35
I can relate to your post Mark C and it does not help that the people behind are usually edging their way forwards before I have even paid. I find it very stressful. I always ask the cashier to help me pack and this helps me to get it done quicker.
GingerFish
07-03-14, 18:44
Yeah I can't stay in for longer than about 5 mins and even then I am making excuses to my partner saying "oh hurry up I need the toilet" or "c'mon that programme starts soon" or whatever. I must look so dodgy to the security because I look terrified and shaky :(
I just order the messages online now and only go to the shop for one or two things so I know I wont be there long.
NoMoreFear
09-03-14, 20:55
Your post describes my experiance at the supermarket. I'm terrified of bumping into acquaintances and always get the feeling that I will be talked about / looked down on. I never go to a normal check out where I can help it, always self serve
MyNameIsTerry
10-03-14, 05:51
I think this is quite common and for GAD sufferers as well.
I had this problem but it's pretty much gone now as I worked on it fairly early into my relapse.
In CBT I was shown a chart which showed how the anxiety responds to a stressful event. It showed a pattern where it started high, then decreases so that after 20 minutes it was much lower. Then it rose again but to a lesser degree and for a shorter time before decreasing again. So, thats why they say to brave it out. It's very hard at first but it does get easier.
Perhaps that might explain why you feel better but then worse then better again?
---------- Post added at 05:51 ---------- Previous post was at 05:48 ----------
Your post describes my experiance at the supermarket. I'm terrified of bumping into acquaintances and always get the feeling that I will be talked about / looked down on. I never go to a normal check out where I can help it, always self serve
I know what you mean. I sometimes avoid them because of concern for why they think about why I resigned from work after many years and also incase they ask how I am now as I'm not where I want to be in my head.
I think thats part of the pressure for us, we have the people with the normal lives (who probably feel awkward too) and it shows us that we are different in a negative way. I think you have to just get better and this will go though.
Can't even go to the supermarket or anywhere I have to queue really. Going on holiday and check in queues are my biggest nightmare. Know exactly how you feel, panic and anxiety attacks are evil.
PhobicStudent
13-03-14, 12:51
I have anxiety issues as well in the supermarket.. But I'm good when I have my earphones on. XD
Also, I try to finish checking out my groceries so others can take my place lol am I being considerate? Maybe just paranoid. Yeaaa I can relate to it.
Catherine S
13-03-14, 13:11
I've heard that claustrophobia and agoraphobia can go hand in hand...can't suffer one without the other so to speak, and that's so true with me. I hate being in small spaces, but equally don't like the vastness of a large supermarket. Its not the social side of it for me though, I can usually cope ok with people around me or talking to me, but I panic in a crowd or on a packed train or bus etc, and have to be the first or last person out of a cinema because I can't cope with being part of the crowd shuffling towards the exits at the end of the film! So the shopping experience is ok and the checkout etc...I just hate the idea that i'm in such a huge place with nowhere to escape to if something happened and my anx and fears are all about some disaster about to happen and i'll be trapped. So I always make sure I know where all the emergency exits are :)
While I don't get anxious in crowded places, I do tend to get irritated and can't wait to get out (perhaps it is a touch of fight or flight). My heart sinks when I see long lines as well but I believe it just stems from my dislike of waiting and general impatience. I tend to go to markets and stores at times when they're not crowded as a rule. I kinda like having the aisles to myself if you know what I mean.
Positive thoughts
It definitely has a lot to do with the lighting and I'm willing to bet that people who don't actually suffer from anxiety have uncomfortable feelings they can't quite put their finger on in some shops and supermarkets.
I find that the M&S at Westfield Shepherd's Bush has an odd "atmosphere" to it and I go in there a lot.
Round in circles
14-03-14, 20:13
I hate supermarkets so much. I've cried at checkouts, sworn at self service aisles and been followed by security guards for looking nervous. I miss green grocers. I wish we just had small local shops like when I was a kid. I don't mean newsagents and mini marts where you're lucky if you can find an onion or a mouldy carrot that's been there for 3 weeks. I mean real, proper fruit and veg shops.
Supermarkets give me trolley rage!
Happens with me too, try and get most my shopping online for home delivery through Tesco, asda, poundhshop.com, amazon ect but if need to go to a shop I try to pick a time its most likely to not be full.... :D
GingerFish
14-03-14, 22:02
It definitely has a lot to do with the lighting and I'm willing to bet that people who don't actually suffer from anxiety have uncomfortable feelings they can't quite put their finger on in some shops and supermarkets.
I find that the M&S at Westfield Shepherd's Bush has an odd "atmosphere" to it and I go in there a lot.
I agree the lighting in a supermarket plays a part in panic attacks. I thought it was just me that felt like this! I have always found supermarkets to be way too bright and it makes you feel more panicky because when you are in the middle of an attack, your vision goes funny anyway without adding bright lights into and it also feels like there is a spotlight on you and people are going to be more likely to see you panic which in turn, makes you panic more.
MyNameIsTerry
14-03-14, 23:18
I hate supermarkets so much. I've cried at checkouts, sworn at self service aisles and been followed by security guards for looking nervous. I miss green grocers. I wish we just had small local shops like when I was a kid. I don't mean newsagents and mini marts where you're lucky if you can find an onion or a mouldy carrot that's been there for 3 weeks. I mean real, proper fruit and veg shops.
Supermarkets give me trolley rage!
Have you been in smaller like Aldi or Lidl? They are more relaxed in may area with far less people in.
Round in circles
15-03-14, 15:01
Have you been in smaller like Aldi or Lidl? They are more relaxed in may area with far less people in.
I haven't tried either of those. I have a hard time with public transport, and my local supermarket is in walking distance. I'm not too sure I could cope with anything further away.
scotford14
15-03-14, 15:37
I have issues with supermarket shopping.
Can anyone remember supermarket sweep hosted by Dale Winton? It reminds me of this because I have to be in and out quickly. If I see a few people waiting at the tills I start to panic. Why? I cant explain it but I agree with others who raise the issue of lighting.
I also agree on the use of quieter shops like Lidl and Aldi (although my local Lidl has around 6 tills and a maximum of two staff serving at any one time, so que's start to form). I usually try to walk by the tills and if there is a line forming, I walk on around the shop again until it quietens down.
James
I am the same but it's weird as I work in one.
MyNameIsTerry
15-03-14, 20:37
I have issues with supermarket shopping.
Can anyone remember supermarket sweep hosted by Dale Winton? It reminds me of this because I have to be in and out quickly. If I see a few people waiting at the tills I start to panic. Why? I cant explain it but I agree with others who raise the issue of lighting.
I also agree on the use of quieter shops like Lidl and Aldi (although my local Lidl has around 6 tills and a maximum of two staff serving at any one time, so que's start to form). I usually try to walk by the tills and if there is a line forming, I walk on around the shop again until it quietens down.
James
I felt like that earlier on when I was less confident. It gets easier the more you can keep yourself in these places and try to relax or distract yourself.
I had the same in queues at that point. I think its a feeling of being trapped as you feel you are unable to move until others do but you have to remember that you are in control as you can wali away at any point and dont care what others may think of you may think they are thinking. Talking to people in queues can help.
scotford14
15-03-14, 21:51
Hello "mynameisterry"
Yes you hit the nail on the when you mentioned about speaking to people. This is another technique I try to employ and it definitely helps. Although sometimes i get the feeling of being trapped in the conversation and then my breathing starts going crazy...
James
Round in circles
15-03-14, 23:20
The checkout is the worst bit for me too. I feel like I have to hurry up because I'm holding everyone up. I feel all this pressure as I'm stuffing the shopping into bags, all the time attempting to keep a normal look on my face. I probably actually look half deranged lol.
The second worst part is when the people from dog's trust accost me yet again, trying to guilt me into sponsoring a dog. I've nothing against dogs, but I really hate the hard sell those guys do.
MyNameIsTerry
15-03-14, 23:31
Hello "mynameisterry"
Yes you hit the nail on the when you mentioned about speaking to people. This is another technique I try to employ and it definitely helps. Although sometimes i get the feeling of being trapped in the conversation and then my breathing starts going crazy...
James
Hi James,
I would get that too but its mostly gone now. It was always in places I would feel the urge to get out of, not in those I didnt. Do you find yourself looking around, thinking something is working up inside you and not really listening?
When I returned to work after the first time I suffered the same with it being a big open plan office. It was hard at first having conversations but more so if I had a group of people around me. It got better over time and I got back to being in meetings, running meets & workshops, presentations, etc.
I think its probably a confidence issue. With GAD, it seems to overlap into many areas such as SAD & HA but perhaps the difference is its easier to address each part seperately.
Terry
---------- Post added at 00:31 ---------- Previous post was at 00:26 ----------
The checkout is the worst bit for me too. I feel like I have to hurry up because I'm holding everyone up. I feel all this pressure as I'm stuffing the shopping into bags, all the time attempting to keep a normal look on my face. I probably actually look half deranged lol.
The second worst part is when the people from dog's trust accost me yet again, trying to guilt me into sponsoring a dog. I've nothing against dogs, but I really hate the hard sell those guys do.
Me too. Get tense over getting the damn plastic bags open or keeping up with the assistant, looking at people thinking they are judging you, etc. I think thats quite common to most people let alone the anxious ones.
Its the other side of the coin that most people probably hate, those that act like they've got all day!
scotford14
16-03-14, 08:02
Hi James,
I would get that too but its mostly gone now. It was always in places I would feel the urge to get out of, not in those I didnt. Do you find yourself looking around, thinking something is working up inside you and not really listening?
When I returned to work after the first time I suffered the same with it being a big open plan office. It was hard at first having conversations but more so if I had a group of people around me. It got better over time and I got back to being in meetings, running meets & workshops, presentations, etc.
I think its probably a confidence issue. With GAD, it seems to overlap into many areas such as SAD & HA but perhaps the difference is its easier to address each part seperately.
Terry
---------- Post added at 00:31 ---------- Previous post was at 00:26 ----------
Yes I concentrate more on the breathing than the conversation and then I do not listen to what they are talking about and I cant respond.
I tend to set up a mental relief barrier. Something like "if I can get past the tills I will be ok" or "if I can make it outside it will go away". This causes me to panic more hence waiting in lines drives me crazy.
It sounds like you have done really well to control it and I know it will take time but I will get there too. Thank you for the encouragement.
James
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