some input please...

[evenflow]

hey guys,
am a bit down this evening and just wanted some views from you all about my situation...i haven't had a panic attack for a while but suffer from symptoms like derealisation and other mental symptoms such as a feeling that my mind is about to go..today my children all very young (6,4,2) came back from a short trip with their mother to the lake district...i love them to bits but when the y got home today after 10 days away my anxiety levels hit the roof..i even had ectopics and my mind started thinking stupid things like i wasn't right for them and what kind of father am i to have these feelings of anxiety cos of the kids...my mind felt like it was 'bending'..cant describe the sensation..
friends and wife think i should try medication even though i had a very bad reaction with cipralex...i've been like this for three months and i think i've ben doing well and have 3 sessions of cbt which helped...am scared to death of medication but everyone makes me feel like this is all going on too long..is 3 months that long and are the thoughts i had really only the anxiety and nothing else?
would really appreciate a few comments
thanx

[EebyJeeby]

Hi evenflow,

It is tempting for people to believe that symptoms such as yours should have started sorting themselves out by now. We even believe that ourselves sometimes eh. But the reality is that 3 months down the line, you are probably only just beginning to fully understand what's going on - this is just the start of the healing process. You need to take your time. It is important that nobody puts you under any pressure time-wise (including yourself!).

It's understandable that you felt a bit overwhelmed when your lovely family returned after you had 10 days in a quiet house! You've probably had information overload too, as they excitedly told you about what they did etc. It's all within the realms of normality (anxiety-wise) and nothing to worry or feel guilty about.

If you feel that the CBT is helping, stick with it and don't feel that you have to go the meds route just because others do. You do what you think is best and take as long as you need.

Eeb xx

[den64]

Hi Evenflow

Sorry to hear that youre not feeling to good, sounds like you had a trip of the guilts to me, you know the fact that youre wife took youre kids away for ten days, at the time you probably didnt think anything of it, as soon as they came back you probably started to think i bet theyve had a great time what sort of a father am i that i cant go on a trip with my kids, weve all been there evenflow and its not nice, also dont forget you had the place to yourself for a long time, no disruptions, no noise, etc then 3 excited kids come tearing in the place all trying to tell you at once what a great time theyve had, and its like wow cant cope with this to much going on in steps panic mode, as for meds thats totally up to you, if you feel youre getting worse then talk to youre doctor or the cbt therapist and see what they think, but remember the choice is yours

Take Care

denise

[evenflow]

thanx eeb and den reaaly appreciate yur views
xx

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I don't mean to scare you, but I've had this for 4 years, so 3 months is nothing.

I know what you mean about your mind bending, I also feel like it's swimming or full of smoke.

I don't have children of my own, but I can imagine that they are very stressful and the stress has caused your anxiety to rise. proactively trying to relax (maybe yoga, massage or self-hypnosis, although I haven't yet talked myself into this yet) and sport is really good too for your well-being.

I expect that you do love your kids very much and it's only a symptom of depression (feelings of low self-worth) that you feel that you're not right for them. I know it's not quite the same, but the only time of day that i can swim is during family hour, and I feel bad that the other parents are looking at me like I'm some kind of paedophile. In reality it's more likely paranoia on my part and the feelings of shame that I have about myself (caused by depression) that create these thoughts.

personally, I had a very bad experience with prozac which has totally put me off medication- it caused really bad derealisation. Medication only masks the problem anyway and, statistically, exercise and talk therapies are as effective as drugs.

It seems to me like you know all the lingo, so you've been researching the problem, which is a very good start. Don't expect it to go away suddenly because that puts extra pressure on yourself to get better. just keep doing the right things and try to 'catch' those faulty thoughts and see that they are not the truth.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.