Emetophobic but want children?

[Honour2012]

Hi,

I have just signed up to this website and have been reading posts all morning.

I suffer with Emetophobia and have done all my life. I had CBT theapy beginning of this year which really helped, i can now travel and eat what ever food i want, so to me thats a massive step.

I still panic when i feel sick and always carry Motilium 10, a anti sickness tablet. I havent been sick since i was 4 or 5 years old, and i am now 28.

I am deperate to have children now but i am just terrified of morning sickeness. I cant bare the thought of being sick or feeling sick for months. I am ok with baby sick, but when my child gets older i dont think i would be able to handle it if they had a bug, as i might catch it :weep:

I really dont want this phobia to ruin my life but it seems to be pretty much taking over.

Hope someone can relate to this.

x

[Chrissy88]

I'm in the same boat. It's really the only thing that's put me off having children, you can't very well run away from the poor things when they're sick and this is what I can imagine myself doing. I also wouldn't want them to see my anxiety in relation to sickness and possibly inherit it. I'd never forgive myself for that.

[Honour2012]

Thats another thing i worry about too... I dont want my children inheriting this awful phobia, it controls your life. Are you activley trying yet? or just at the stage of talking about it? Im so excited of the thought of being pregnant, but the phobia keeps kicking in. I am thinking of going to my GP to ask if there is anything i can take, but obviously i dont want to harm the baby in anyway... So hard!!

[Chrissy88]

I'm not trying yet, I need to get my mental state right before that happens, but it is something I really want in the future. I would definitely talk to your GP about possible medication that is safe to take. I know what i'm taking right now (Prozac and Seroquel) wouldn't be safe, so before anything like that were to happen for me i'd obviously have to ask my GP the same thing. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

[Honour2012]

Ah ok. I am on Citalopram and i have just found out its ok to take while pregnant. Hope you start to feel better soon. Have you tried CBT?

[Chrissy88]

Thanks. I have had CBT in the past. It's helped with other issues but not my emetophobia. One thing a psychologist wanted to try on me was systematic desensitization, where they would show me videos of people vomiting, and over time make it more and more confronting, but I flat out refused, I couldn't handle it.

[Honour2012]

Yeah thats what i had! I refused too for a while then i forced myself too... It doesnt take away your phobia but it does make it more bareable to see or watch, as gross as it was, i really trusted my therapist which i think is a massive thing. Good luck x

[Chrissy88]

Thanks, same to you. A couple of times i've forced myself to watch videos of people throwing up to try and convince myself that it's not a big deal, but everytime I had a panic attack those images would flood back into my head and make me feel even worse, so I haven't tried since. It's not something I would rule out trying again in the future though. I hope you achieve your dream of having children, you sound like a nice person and i'm sure you'll be a great mum some day. :)

[Honour2012]

Yeah definitly give it another go in the future. Good luck!
Thank you.. i really hope so :)

[paranoidtree]

i'm the same, i would love children but not sure i can cope with being pregnant, for me it's not just the sickness issue but all the changes in your body as well. i get really scared with all little aches and tinges (triggered from appendicitis last year). Me and my husband have been together 13 years, married for 6, all our friends have children and i get so upset when they ask why we haven't. it seems so silly to try and explain. i'm hoping with counselling i will be able to move past this so we can have a family.

[Honour2012]

Are you going for CBT? It will really help you. I know what you mean why you cant explain to people as to everyone else its seems stupid, but its not, its our lives and thats not stupid. Only people with the same issues as you will understand! Are you on any sort of tablets? anti depressents or anything to help you cope better?

[paranoidtree]

i came off citalopram last june as was in a much better place (and had seen a psychotherapist at the same time) however in July last year had my appendix removed, big shock and since then my anxiety has got worse :(


I don't want to go back on citalopram so am starting to use natural remedies to help myself get better, i've seen a nutritionist and am seeing a new therapist who specalises in trauma therapy (which is what i do need) and incorporates mindfulness and CBT. i'm also doing bthe CBT4PANIC programme on here. Some days it's harder than others and it always hits me hardest when i think about having children.

[Honour2012]

I totally understand. Thats good that you are going down the natural route, i will sooner or later i hope as dont want to be on this forever. Sounds like you have a good plan. I was reading up on morning sickness and preventions a minute ago and now i feel sick... Such a viscious circle. Good luck with everything :)

[paranoidtree]

it is funny how the mind works, if i see something on telly it triggers it in me! That's why i've stopped watching Holby City, i got scared as whenever a patient described how they were feeling, 5 mins later i felt the same!

[Honour2012]

Snap.. i cant watch anything to do with Hospitals.. My other half was watching Jack Ass the other day and i had to go out the room because they were being sick :( Its awful! A girl at work said the other day she had a funny tummy.. Within 10mins i felt terrible and started to panic! I avoid getting close to my friend who works at a nursery because they always have bugs going round. Its so sad how our minds can do this to us...

[shvuntz]

I have to say to you that as an emetophobic myself I too was worried about being pregnant...I had three babies, yes I felt nausea but found that fresh ginger in my bag, which I bit little bits off was great and those sea bands were invaluable in fact I didn't take them off I slept in them.. The key is not to get too tired and an empty stomach actually makes you feel worse.. Didn't get S once and now at the age of 50 can tell you I have not V since I was 9.. And have nursed kids and been fine, through good hygiene ..
You can do it !

[Twinset]

Just backing up previous post... I have had two pregnancies and never got morning sickness in either. Weirdly all my fears about D&V bugs were greatly reduced during my first pregnancy (twin boys)... but during the second pregnancy my panics/fears were much worse (singleton girl).

Both times I felt nervous of morning sickness but also found comfort knowing that if I was going to be it would have been explained by the pregnancy and not some dreadful illness.

[Tessar]

it is funny how the mind works, if i see something on telly it triggers it in me! That's why i've stopped watching Holby City, i got scared as whenever a patient described how they were feeling, 5 mins later i felt the same!
I like holby, casualty etc but always have my fingers at the ready to stick in my ears & shut my eyes if it looks like anyone will do u know wot. My partner is used to it now.
I was never really serious about having children which is just as well since I too was totally phobic of morning sickness and agree totally about how on earth I would have dealt with it if a child was sick.
Same applies if I baby sit my nieces/nephews. Fortunately that isn't as bad as having children of my own since they would go back to my brother at the end of the day.
I agree it is a very bad phobia to have, though you can work on it. I do believe that doing your best to cope is the way forward. No amount of fearing the worst and trying to ensure it doesn't happen will influence the outcome I feel. In the end it is damage limitation and doing your best not to let it take over your life.

[busybee09]

I thought i was the onlyone who worried about this!
We have 3 pregnant people at work and they talk about morning sickness like its no biggy!
For me its huge, i cant even bare the thought it scares me so much.

Surely there must be something that can help us. My mum never got morning sickness but that doesnt mean that it'll be the same for me!

[Paul H]

Hello. Yes, of course there is help available. Find a decent hypnotherapist. The NCHP trained hypnotherapists are officially termed "hypno-psychotherapists" which is why the UKCP accredits the course. Hypnotherapy / NLP techniques are almost tailor made for phobias.

I have been qualified for just over a year. I haven't yet seen an emetophobe but I have helped people with extreme arachnophobia in as few as two sessions. Emetophobia is a different phobia, of course, but the principles remain the same.

So, my advice would be to find an NCHP trained hypno-psychotherapist in your local area.

Best wishes

Paul