medical phobia and refusing tests/treatment

[Avalon Kitty]

Hi :)

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but has anyone here chosen NOT to have recommended medical procedures or treatment, because of fear of hospitals, doctors etc? And has anyone chosen to have alternative therapies instead?

I have really bad medical phobia, including fear of any type of anaesthetics. Also fear of vomiting.Last December I went to my GP about symptoms I'd had for 2 years (and been too scared to ask about, for all that time). She referred me to Gastroenterology dept, and because of one of my test results the consultant booked me in for a colonoscopy to look for inflammation.

Well that was a total fail. The first dose of prep gave me severe vomiting and heart palpitations, phoned the unit and they told me to see my GP, who told me to go in for colonoscopy anyway. When I got there the consultant said he would not be able to do it because I hadn't been able to complete the prep. I knew by then I couldn't go through with it anyway, my anxiety levels were through the roof. Up to that point I'd always thought that my fear of illness would overcome my fear of the tests but no, ALL I could think about was getting out of that place! I asked the consultant if I couldn't repeat the FCP test and he said yes, because my results had been borderline. He told me to repeat the test in 4 weeks and that he would see me at his clinic.


Unfortunately that test went missing, which I didn't find out for several weeks as I was just waiting to hear from them. I got a second test done at the end of August, rang up today about results. The secretary said they were 'a lot better' but the registrar still recommending colonoscopy/CT scan/barium enema, and the consultant who gave me the impression that a better FCP result would be the end of things is away for 6 months. This registrar said that FCP could not be used as a monitoring tool.


I really want to sort this out without drugs or invasive tests, even if that does take a longer time than conventional treatments would, but I feel like I'm not being listened to, or given any information, by the doctors.


Ive been having homeopathic treatment and have been really careful with my diet, and worked really hard to improve things - which is how I would want to carry on if they did find inflammation - with homeopathy, diet, and other alternative remedies if necessary, but NOT conventional drugs. But it seems they are not counting the improvement...as an improvement...because the test they used to monitor it, cannot be used as a monitoring tool?! They keep saying, well we can't make you have these tests, but that's what we recommend.They know about my phobia, but it seems like its their way or the highway.


I have no idea what to do - I'm really depressed about this - if I agree to go for any of these tests it will just be the same thing again, after I came back from my non-colonoscopy I was more scared than ever and said that I knew I could never do that again.


Thanks for taking the time to read this long post! Any input would be very welcome :)

[blingkasa]

Hi Avalon Kitty,

Sorry to read about what you are going through. How long have you had this medical phobia? It's not nice, i get a bit stressed as well when it comes to stuff like that. The thing is, the anticipation is usually worse than the outcome. It's great that you are trying more organic and holistic treatments but maybe in the back of your mind you are also thinking about the tests and medical stuff and this is probably contributing to anxiety. I get like that, i over think stuff and i get worried about results as well. The other day when i went to the clinic i told the doctor not to tell me my Bp results and he laughed and said " okay, but its fine" .. I know where you are coming from and i also know that you are being very brave as well. Perhaps you could also benefit from speaking to someone who can give you reassurance, maybe a person who has experience with phobias, or if you prefer an organic approach there is hypnotherapy which is a relaxant and can help put fears into perspective. Fear has this silly way of overcoming us at times but from reading what you wrote you seem to have more courage than you perhaps believe. To even go for the tests and see the doctors is already really brave of you. I dont know if this was of any help but i just wanted you to know that you do have it in you to overcome this, and i am sure, with perhaps some expert advice or speaking to someone about it that you will. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and you are not alone.

[lo89]

I have a medical phobia also! I fainted during a dental x ray as I was convinced they would find something, and I have been offered screening due to recurrent miscarriages and I am too scared to go through with it in case something is wrong! So I cannot give you advice, but I can sympathise!

[Avalon Kitty]

Thanks both for your replies! Its great to hear from people who understand.

blinkasa Ive had this as long as I can remember. I have tried hypnotherapy, it was terrible! I felt really angry and aggressive when I came out of there! I guess the basic thing is, I don't trust anyone apart from my homeopath, and that is just sheer luck that I chose a good one. I trust homeopathy because I know it can't do any harm, and I know my homeopath isnt saying/doing anything just to cover herself and avoid getting sued, which is what I always suspect conventional medical peoples of doing.

I do agree that anticipation is usually the worst bit, and it was knowing this that got me as far as the examination table on colonoscopy day. Up to that point I thought that when it came to it, I'd be able to go through with it. But I just couldn't.

Perhaps I do have it in me to overcome this, but Im not sure what I should be trying to overcome - my fear of conventional medicine, which I don't trust at all, or my fear of ditching conventional medicine and putting all my trust in the treatments I feel comfortable with, thus going against the dire warnings of the doctors (who have to say the dire warnings so they wont get sued, and therefore cant tell me what they really think, and might all be saying the current treatments of choice were all wrong 10 yrs down the line anyway)? i just dont know - I dont trust my own judgement, and the phobia just colours everything and stops me thinking clearly! Thanks for saying Im brave to have seen the docs at all - that did make me feel a bit better!

lo89, that must be so hard for you. Do you have support/understanding from friends, family etc about how your phobia actually does stop you from getting tests? (hope so).

Sending you both good vibes :)

[Stormsky]

I hope you can find a way to have the tests you need, you don't want your health to deteriorate by not having them... Like said, sometimes our fear of them is greater than the procedure itself....

[blingkasa]

Try combining a bit of both. We are lucky in this day and age to have the most modern technologies after all, and medicine has different branches, whether it is organic, holistic, conventional, herbal, spiritual. You have come this far and you will feel so much better by having the tests done, otherwise it will be on your mind. Don't over think it ( says she who is the world's number one over thinker ; ) You sound like you actually have very clear judgement, you are not too keen on conventional and would eventually prefer to rely on more natural and holistic approaches, which shows clarity of thinking. It would be a good idea perhaps to just get the tests over and done with and then you will feel so much more relieved and can pursue your interest in holistic and homeopathic medicine. Either way you sound sensible and its just the fears and the thoughts that are bothering you. Look at the bigger picture as well, it probably really is nothing but Doctors do have to cover their tracks and rule out everything, even the tiniest little thing. And we are blessed to have all this treatment available as in some countries it isn't. Lots of Luck and you can do it !

[Avalon Kitty]

Thanks blinkasa. Combining them is what I want to do, but the conventional doctors havent given me much info or alternatives and dont acknowledge homeopathy as a valid treatment. A friend suggested I go to a private dr rather than NHS, as they are more likely to treat you as an individual rather than try to hustle you onto their conveyor belt, but dont know if I can afford that! At the moment Im waiting to hear back from the hospital and when I do Im going to ask for another clinic appointment to discuss options.

Thanks for your support! Its helping me feel better about things.

[sarahkay]

Yes I have a sort of fear of tests of any kind. It sort of gives me a
trapped feeling, difficult to explain.

I tend to go for alternative so far, none of these alternatives have
ever had a bad affect.

But I do know that, at some stage, I have to overcome health
tests from medical profession, as yet I havent worked out how!

[Avalon Kitty]

Hi Sarah, yes it seems like theres no getting away from those pesky health tests although I do wonder how much we are brainwashed into thinking we need more than we really do.

I often (really, seriously, even though I know life expectancy was much shorter then) wish I'd been born back in the days when the only medical care was a wise woman in a hut in the forest who gave you some herb tea which might or might not work...because I cant cope with choosing between the fear of illness or the fear of tests/treatment/just plain being anywhere near doctors or hospitals! And its never over, theyre always finding some new test to torture us with!

[Sallyg]

Hi Avalon Kitty
I was searching for help with fear of medical procedures which I have only just nailed as something that has grown alongside my general anxiety over the last few years and your post sounded like just where I am at.

It is a while since you posted and I just wondered how you moved forward with the dilemmas of your fears and beliefs etc.

I have used a great homoeopath for over ten years and havent really had the need for medical procedures, although I feared them previous to this, it didnt get as bad as I feel it is now. I almost think it is because I stopped visiting my GP to a certain extent and the homeopathy kept me well in a holistic sense.

Anyhow, I now need to decide about a medical procedure and I am just where you are at with the confusing sense that I dont HAVE to have it, it would benefit me slightly in a precautionary way etc but whilst thinking all this I realise that I am genuinely distrusting now and dont want to be, because I do believe at some point I might need and can respect the need for medical intervention. I almost wish I hadnt stopped going to doctors so that I could have it as a "norm", but every time I went with something non-specific they couldnt help, it feels like they can only help in "dire" black and white situations as it were, only adding to my fears.

Anyway, my homoeopath has retired aaarrghh and this procedure is to remove a cervical polyp that has no symptoms and GP said if I was anxious I could leave it. Well I have left it for a long time, but recently I lost all trust in that decision and thats when I realised I am actually scared of medical people!I have zero symptoms and in years gone by have been told they wouldnt even know there was a polyp until it bled or something but now they can remove incase there is a small small chance of changing cells (my smear test was clear) Anyway, for me, it boils down to beliefs and the fine line of nature cure or nature just doing what it does without a problem and preventative stuff that really does help. For instance I dont have any problem rationalising a smear test, even though there are no guarantees with that, I just dont want to fall into the mindset that medical has the answers, because it doesnt, so a healthy dose of realism in that regard is needed if its fear I am trying to quel by listening and doing what is procedure at the same time as trusting my own wisdom and theirs too. I do think they have to follow guidelines rather than medical skill sometimes and lose their innate ability to be a trustworthy source of wisdom and knowledge.

The fact my GP said take it off, then when I questioned it, she said well it doesnt matter...created a real trigger for anxiety etc when looking at my beliefs of let things take their course but heal and treat if needed. I cant even tell if I need to treat! Anyway, I am rambling, as I am in a quandry as to whether to address the polyp surgically or is it just about addressing my fear of the medical profession, which I perhaps want to stop having.

[AuntieMoosie]

Yes I too completely understand what you mean hun :)

I'm facing a tough time right now as I'm having to have some tests done, it's my worst fear coming to life:wacko:

I really can't bare hospitals and this dates way back from childhood, I'd say I've got a little better, but I still have major problems. To be honest, I feel much better the further away from hospitals I can be...........like a million miles!!! lol

My anxiety shoots straight up just as soon as I'm even on the road that the hospitals in:scared15:

I'm trying to do my CBT to help me along but it is half difficult when you're in that sort of setting.

I don't like the feeling of having to keep still, lay down and have people muck about with me, it makes me feel trapped cos when I'm anxious I like to be able to be mobile.

I have to face yet another test on Friday of this week :scared15: then, thank goodness, I only have one more to go after that :)

So you're not alone hun :) :hugs:

[lj123455]

So sorry to hear this. Don't know if you'd want to do it but I saw an advertisement this week for a new tv show on itv about some professional psychotherapists who work with problems like this, and they're currently looking for people to come forward to have their problems sorted? Might be worth a try if you wantsto email? It just said to email:

change@itv.com

with details about the problem.....I've emailed myself to get help for my phobias and I just thought its definitely worth a try if there's a chance it could help anyone else to get over their problem too!