Inability to socialise with men?

[kitsune]

So I've dipped pretty far into depression of late and I'm having quite a weird problem. I've never been able to get along with guys. I'm a guy myself but for some reason I just greatly prefer the company of women. For some reason, I can open up to women so much more easily than men. For example, today I was having a really bad day, and one of my male friends asked me if I wanted to go over for dinner and talk about it and I turned it down because I know I wouldn't be able to talk to him about it. But if it had been a female friend I'd have no problem talking to them about things. I've had problems with gender identity recurrently which is odd since I'm definitely straight and have no desire to dress like a girl or behave like a girl. I just find I can get along with girls much better than guys. I find I'm always up for hanging out with girls and feel very comfortable around them, but I struggle immensely with socialising with men.

Is it weird for a guy to be like that?

[Anxious_gal]

Well in general women are easier to talk to about emotinal stuff.
Men tend to be expected to suck it up or act hard.
What was your dad or men in your family like?
It's sounds like the guy is pretty nice, unless you try to open up you'll never know what might happen.

Personally I only talk openly with one of my friends, I'm not comfortable being that vurnerable with others.

[kitsune]

My dad is nearly impossible to talk to about this stuff, he tries, but he's never had this kind of problem so I get the impression he doesn't understand it. I appreciate that he tries and he has the best intentions, but my mum has had similar issues her whole life and so I find it much easier to talk to her since she knows what it's like. I just find it easier to talk to her since she tends to give answers that make sense. My dad is a nice guy but I've always felt far more attached to my mum since she always seems to know exactly what I'm going through.

I'm kinda ashamed to admit it as a 23 year old guy but I still find some comfort cuddling up to my mum and talking about things :S I feel kinda pathetic admitting that.

The guy who asked me over is a nice guy, but I've known him my whole life and we've always been rivals, so I kinda have this idea in my mind that he revels in me not being happy. He's kinda patronising. Like he's only interested in making me feel better since it makes him look good. I've had this mistrust of guys for a long time. Like they don't care about me unless they have something to gain from it.

I seem to have this predisposition to judge girls very highly and men very badly. I just don't feel an affinity with guys. I think it's because I was bullied as a kid by most guys, and I never find any comfort in the company of guys. I just feel very comfortable around girls and feel like I can talk to them very easily, whereas I tend to have negative assumptions about guys.

[Anxious_gal]

I think it's about comfort, you're more comfortable talking to women because that's what you grew up with.
It took me years to be able to feel comfortable with women!
I often had way more male friends as I found then to be more laid back and less drama :p
But now I've more female friends.

But people are just people, male or female it's more about their personality and how well you click.

Men tend to react differently, like women will listen, console where as men might be more likely to tell you it'll get better and take you out for a drink to cheer you up.

Why feel ashamed that you've a good close relashionship with your mum!
It may not be norm here but I think it's a cultural thing.
In other cultures even whole family's sleep in the same room, bathe together and generally are just more close.

I figure your father just isn't comfortable being emotional n really doesn't know how to be any other way from what he is used to.

That's not a guy ha ha women do it too!
Like being secretly happy other women have gained weight, got dumped, gossiping about them.
But not all men or women are like that!
I don't know if you're just being paranoid but I would go with your gut, it's like dating you can usually feel when something's not right.
But be careful you don't let your fears make you mistrust every guy.

I dunno, why would he ask you out just so he looks good?
Seems like a lot of effort to go to!

No offensive but you being male n possiably very good looking affects how women treat you, as in you're not a rival to them.

One thing to look out for is how your friends treat other people and friends.
Are they mean to them, do they cheat, or gossip behind their back.
Cause if they can do that to others they will eventually do that to you.

[kitsune]

Well in terms of this one guy I don't trust him because he's a compulsive liar. I'm not talking little lies, to quote Father Ted (love that show lol always makes me smile :)) they're "great big lies with fecking bells hanging off 'em" lol

Like he always tells people he has a masters degree, which he doesn't, he doesn't even have a single GCSE. Why does he tell people that? Because I have a degree, and he always has to be one better. He also tells people he passed his 11+ exam, which he didn't, but I didn't either so he has to be better. He tells people he's won awards for his music which he hasn't, he tells people he's a published poet, which he isn't. He even tells me these things, as if I'm too stupid to not know he's lying. I just recently started calling him out on these things too, like "if you show me a certificate which says you have a masters degree I will give you £50". Unsurprisingly he changes the subject pretty fast.

The thing that frustrates me is PEOPLE BELIEVE HIM! I've seen him pick up a girl by talking absolute gibberish about physics (my degree is in physics) and they eat it up, but it's literal gibberish! For example he once tried to seriously tell me and a girl that humans can't see in 3 dimensions because "the line isn't straight" whatever the crap that means!

I don't know what's worse, that he lies so blatantly, or that people take what he says seriously.

That's why I don't trust him, he feeds off me like a vampire, and to him seeing me struggle is like heroin.

[fozzy is crying]

Why bother with him?

It is his problem not yours. Eventually liars are always found out as they have bad memories and forget the lies they have told then trip themselves up.

Gordon