Crikey, what a day!

[Elle-Kay]

I've just sat down for the first time since about 11 o'clock this morning! :scared15: First I went out to the shop for groceries for myself & my parents, then almost as soon as I got home my new food processor was delivered :D, but turned out to have 3 parts missing :nonono: so I had to get on the phone to Kenwood to sort out getting them sent on separately. Then my sister rang and said the heating engineer she had booked through work (she works for a plumbing/electrical/joinery firm) was coming out there and then to service our central heating boiler, so no sooner had I run through to my room with the new bras I had bought this morning which were still in the bag on the kitchen table than he turned up, and he's only just gone, so this is the first time I've actually sat down and had 5 minutes to myself in over 4 hours!

I found it quite difficult when the heating chap was here - one of those "oh gosh, someone is in my house and I can't throw them out" type anxiety attacks, combined with it being sprung on me just like that so I didn't have time to 'prepare' - and I was about ready at one point to run out to hide at my parents' house and let him get on with it. I was a bit disappointed in those thoughts initially as I thought "If I can't even have a visitor to my home, how am I going to manage to go dancing tonight?", but it did get a bit easier after he had been here 10 minutes or so, and I distracted myself by putting away all the food processor bits, so I hope that I'll still feel up to going dancing... *fingers crossed*

On the plus side, all the upheaval & being busy has meant that I needed to get a quick lunch, so I've had a slice of fruit cake :D

[Annie0904]

Well done Elle-Kay...a very productive day and more to come with your dancing which sounds fun. I have had a busy day making tea and coffee for the builders doing my new drive. Can't believe I got so anxious about them coming here. They are really friendly and it turns out one of them suffers from anxiety and panic attacks!

[MRS STRESS ED]

lol you have been busy ,i bet it took your mind of things it was better you wasnt prepared for the heating fellow no time to panic:D you done well to do all that good on you and enjoy your dancing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:yesyes::yesyes:

[Elle-Kay]

I'm pleased your builders are friendly Annie :) I think we'll be having the builders in next year some time to knock our kitchen about for us, but I don't suppose yours would travel so far, even if they have come personally recommended lol How encouraging that one of them suffers with anxiety but obviously manages to hold down a busy, tiring job too.

I'm off to make our pie for dinner in a few minutes, and then I'll steel my nerves for dancing!

[Elle-Kay]

Well it was touch and go for a while, thanks to me getting flustered over getting dinner ready (and then stressing about not being able to eat it once it was ready), but I did eventually make it to dancing.

I turned up late and missed the lesson, as I just didn't feel up to even leaving the house initially, but finally coaxed myself into believing that I would regret it more if I didn't at least try, so got up and went in the end (even though I had then started worrying about being late, as well as having to explain to everyone why I hadn't been in ages, and worrying about forgetting the steps).

The odd thing is, I didn't even feel especially anxious - not physically - and nor did I have the mental panic really, but I just didn't feel able to go (or to go inside once I got there - I sat in the car for 10 minutes), in case it brought those feelings on. This confirms to me that it is the feeling of fear that I'm afraid of, but also perhaps that the herbal medicine I'm taking is working to reduce my general anxiety levels. Now I suppose I have to learn to trust in not feeling them.

Anyway, I ended up being asked to dance 4 times, and several people told me (genuinely) that they were pleased to see me back, which was nice. My husband also commented when I got home that it made a big difference to see me smiling, so I'm pleased that I did make the effort to go, and hopefully next week will be easier now, and I can start getting back to the routine I enjoyed a couple of months ago :)