Ferry1995
09-10-12, 22:30
I've suffered from general anxiety for 4 years, health anxiety for 6 months, and about a month ago I had a very bad psychotic episode which triggered a very very bad spell of anxiety in which I went to A+E 3 times in a week, it was brought to a head when I was sitting in a waiting room crying for 3 hours straight, the only thing that kept me going was that I needed to see my parents one last time before I went mad/died/lost myself, after that things started to improve, perhaps because they'd just got too bad, I mean, I had myself a suicide note written, very unlike me, as i'm a staunch believer that every day is a gift and we should make the most of it, as this is the only life we get.
It took a trip to my shrink and a lot of talking to realise I hadn't been well for a long long time, I've been suffering anxiety since I was 8, and bad anxiety since I was 13, ( I'm 17 now ) and I guess I didn't even realise, I just thought humans were supposed to live like this ( I was upset 90% of the time about something or other ) but anyway, about 6 months ago I got a really bad spell of health anxiety, which really affected my quality of life, I struggled on and started myself on some clompiramine, which didn't help, and I really didn't want to up the dose, so I thought i'd face it without meds. 2 weeks after I came off it, I had a random psychotic episode, no trigger, I had honestly begun to feel better too. this last month has been a struggle, I'm finding holding on difficult, the general anxiety is bad, the health anxiety is bad, I keep forgetting things, I can't focus, I just can't really hold myself together, sometimes I just want to bury my head in the ground, I don't know how to cope.
However, I'm ready to face this, I know that to live a good life, I need to fight for it, I need to know I won't lose my mind, I can distract myself in the short term, but In the long term it just feels like an onslaught, I am adamant not to go back to medication. I want to know what works for everyone, I've just started a 20 week CBT course and have myself a CBT self help book, I'm not sure what else I can do, what does everyone reccomend to get me better quicker, I am 110% dedicated to getting better, and I want it to happen ASAP, I know it's not an easy fight, but i'm ready to start the journey.
I've got a job, a college course, some friends, a band, everything I could ask for, but the anxiety is swallowing up everything.
Is the forgetfulness normal, is it normal to feel just dazed, confused, spaced out all of the time, has anyone experienced all this? occasional blurred vision, shortness of breath, headaches too, are these common symptoms?
Thanks for listening guys.
It took a trip to my shrink and a lot of talking to realise I hadn't been well for a long long time, I've been suffering anxiety since I was 8, and bad anxiety since I was 13, ( I'm 17 now ) and I guess I didn't even realise, I just thought humans were supposed to live like this ( I was upset 90% of the time about something or other ) but anyway, about 6 months ago I got a really bad spell of health anxiety, which really affected my quality of life, I struggled on and started myself on some clompiramine, which didn't help, and I really didn't want to up the dose, so I thought i'd face it without meds. 2 weeks after I came off it, I had a random psychotic episode, no trigger, I had honestly begun to feel better too. this last month has been a struggle, I'm finding holding on difficult, the general anxiety is bad, the health anxiety is bad, I keep forgetting things, I can't focus, I just can't really hold myself together, sometimes I just want to bury my head in the ground, I don't know how to cope.
However, I'm ready to face this, I know that to live a good life, I need to fight for it, I need to know I won't lose my mind, I can distract myself in the short term, but In the long term it just feels like an onslaught, I am adamant not to go back to medication. I want to know what works for everyone, I've just started a 20 week CBT course and have myself a CBT self help book, I'm not sure what else I can do, what does everyone reccomend to get me better quicker, I am 110% dedicated to getting better, and I want it to happen ASAP, I know it's not an easy fight, but i'm ready to start the journey.
I've got a job, a college course, some friends, a band, everything I could ask for, but the anxiety is swallowing up everything.
Is the forgetfulness normal, is it normal to feel just dazed, confused, spaced out all of the time, has anyone experienced all this? occasional blurred vision, shortness of breath, headaches too, are these common symptoms?
Thanks for listening guys.