W.I.F.T.S.
07-08-06, 12:28
I suffer severly from anxiety and depression. I am consciously trying to relax and to lift my spirits.
I've had about 3 major bouts of depression during my life and in between those times I would say that I've probably had low level depression.
I would say that anxiety/tension/fear is the main cause of my depression. Tension and anxiety causes me to be socially awkward and to be afraid of challenging myself with work or travel.
I know that it's a trick of the mind. I know that people who are confident, relaxed and well just focus on the here and now, whereas I scare myself by thinking about the world around me and 'what if's'.
It's just so horrible. I know i'll probably get over this bout of depression given time (it's been 4 years already), but how can I resolve this for good so that it doesn't keep ruining my life? I'm afraid of travelling in case I get somewhere and have a panic attack and want to rush home.
Why am I so afraid of everything? It's so annoying and frustrating, especially as I have done the things that I'm afraid of, but I'm still afarid of them.
People say why are you scared of going over bridges? It started because I used to have an urge to drive off them, which would cause me panic attacks. These days I don't get the urges so much, but in my mind bridges are an automatic cue for a panic attack. It isn't the thing itself that scares me, it's because the percieved threat raises my already high levels of anxiety, which causes my fight or flight response to kick in and my head floods with thoughts of death and being overwhelmed by the world.
I just wish that there was something that I could take that would calm me down physically, because I'm sure that I'd start to enjoy life more then. I don't want to get into tranquilisers. beta blockers do help. Rescue remedy has a very slight effect and luckily alcohol makes me worse than ever the morning after, so I avoid that.
Maybe I will get to a point in life where all my hard work will come together and i'll feel much more confident about myself, but (in my depressed state) it's hard to imagine it.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
I've had about 3 major bouts of depression during my life and in between those times I would say that I've probably had low level depression.
I would say that anxiety/tension/fear is the main cause of my depression. Tension and anxiety causes me to be socially awkward and to be afraid of challenging myself with work or travel.
I know that it's a trick of the mind. I know that people who are confident, relaxed and well just focus on the here and now, whereas I scare myself by thinking about the world around me and 'what if's'.
It's just so horrible. I know i'll probably get over this bout of depression given time (it's been 4 years already), but how can I resolve this for good so that it doesn't keep ruining my life? I'm afraid of travelling in case I get somewhere and have a panic attack and want to rush home.
Why am I so afraid of everything? It's so annoying and frustrating, especially as I have done the things that I'm afraid of, but I'm still afarid of them.
People say why are you scared of going over bridges? It started because I used to have an urge to drive off them, which would cause me panic attacks. These days I don't get the urges so much, but in my mind bridges are an automatic cue for a panic attack. It isn't the thing itself that scares me, it's because the percieved threat raises my already high levels of anxiety, which causes my fight or flight response to kick in and my head floods with thoughts of death and being overwhelmed by the world.
I just wish that there was something that I could take that would calm me down physically, because I'm sure that I'd start to enjoy life more then. I don't want to get into tranquilisers. beta blockers do help. Rescue remedy has a very slight effect and luckily alcohol makes me worse than ever the morning after, so I avoid that.
Maybe I will get to a point in life where all my hard work will come together and i'll feel much more confident about myself, but (in my depressed state) it's hard to imagine it.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.