Chrissy88
10-10-12, 11:47
Hi everyone,
I'm meeting an old high school friend for coffee this Friday, and i'm looking forward to seeing her, but at the same time i'm dreading it. I haven't seen her for a few years, but the last time I did things didn't go well. Due to my social anxiety I was really quiet and awkward, the whole time I just got the feeling she was bored out of her mind. I ended up going home and self harming afterwards, I hated myself, still do. I'm really worried that this time will turn out the same way, this whole thing is just bringing up those bad memories as well as memories of my high school days where I felt so alone and rejected, spending every recess and lunch time in the library because I had no real friends to hang around with and I didn't want to be seen standing by myself like an idiot. This particular friend did include me with her group of friends when she found out my situation, but that didn't happen until the last couple of months of my final years at school. So yeah, i'm nervous as hell. I don't know if this makes a whole lot of sense, but I needed to get it out. :weep:
I'm meeting an old high school friend for coffee this Friday, and i'm looking forward to seeing her, but at the same time i'm dreading it. I haven't seen her for a few years, but the last time I did things didn't go well. Due to my social anxiety I was really quiet and awkward, the whole time I just got the feeling she was bored out of her mind. I ended up going home and self harming afterwards, I hated myself, still do. I'm really worried that this time will turn out the same way, this whole thing is just bringing up those bad memories as well as memories of my high school days where I felt so alone and rejected, spending every recess and lunch time in the library because I had no real friends to hang around with and I didn't want to be seen standing by myself like an idiot. This particular friend did include me with her group of friends when she found out my situation, but that didn't happen until the last couple of months of my final years at school. So yeah, i'm nervous as hell. I don't know if this makes a whole lot of sense, but I needed to get it out. :weep: