Anxiety high when people visit [Archive]

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loopylu86

10-10-12, 19:35

So I have had quite a good day..Very good compared to the last few days which were bad due to me recovering from a panic attack that was very disturbing...When they are bad enough it tends to put me back in the fear cycle because as panic sufferers know..they tend to make you dwell abit.

So...I popped over to my mum's this morning and had a relaxing bath and did my knitting and then messaged my best friend who also works with me to come and pick my sick note up to take into work tomorrow. He replied that he finished at 5:30 and would be around just before 6. Well I just felt anxious at this thought all the time leading upto the visit. I knew he was coming and I love his company and he is so understanding and supportive..he really is amazing and caring. Yet I just seem to get so anxious when he or anyone else for that matter proposes a visit..So I went for a drive to distract just before he arrived and we sat and had a chat for an hour then I needed to pop to the shop and the drive was just me in a highly anxious state and feeling the doom and butterflies in my belly and just pure deep breath anxious. I didn't let on and kept my cool and he was off home anyway but I just want this to not be happening. There doesn't seem to be an escape from my anxiety because it can be triggered by pretty much anything. So after he left it was straight to my room. Bed clothes on,light hearted dvd,fan on due to a flushed face despite the rest of me being cold. It is just frustrating me! I want to spend relaxing time with my friend! He knows the situation and I am in the comfort of my own home so why? Anyone else relate to this???

Elle-Kay

10-10-12, 19:52

I can totally relate to this. I had a heating engineer round to service our central heating yesterday, and I was SO anxious when he arrived, and for quite a while. This is bad enough, but I also felt the same recently when a friend of mine came to visit with her girls. I had invited them, because the girls (10 and 6) are animal-mad and wanted to meet my ferrets, but I was really really anxious while they were here, and couldn't wait for them to go, and I hated feeling that way, but at the same time couldn't stop it :(

I feel much more comfortable meeting friends out of the house, as I know that I can leave whenever I want, so it follows that the thought which starts the panic in my home for me is that I won't be able to ask the visitor(s) to leave if I feel panicked. Of course, I know afterwards that 1) it's my house, so of course I could ask them to leave if I felt ill (and as friends they would understand, and be sympathetic to me feeling ill), and 2) it is thinking this which makes me panic - if I didn't think it, I wouldn't panic! But as you'll know for sure, the anxious thoughts run a lot faster than the rational ones...

claireuk

10-10-12, 19:58

hello your not alone with this im not able to socialise properly yet either i can only have my dad around me i havent seen my sisters in over 6 months and my friends i havent seen aswell as i find it hard to cope with myself and my feelings when they come on.I get wound up and very anxious at the thought of somebody coming to house even when a parcel comes i dont like it and i get anxious talking on the phones so i dont like that either.But your doing reallly well to still of seen ur friend despite of how u felt my therapist says more practice becomes easier.Its because our nervous system is tired and all our symtoms and feelings and emotions are exaggerated cos we are sensitised.Ive only just started going in to shops and getting used to that.Its ourselves we are afraid of not the places or situations or people.Have u heard of the cd by dr claire weekes called pass through panic its very good can buy it on amazon.Have u tried exhaling slowly when u feel anxious and letting all your muscles sag just loosening that tight grip on yourself almost like a floppy rag doll this may help with the tension just float through the moment.This is what i feel helps a bit its just putting evrything into practice and being brave to do it and u are doing it good for u keep it up.Keep going look at it all as practice time.Hope this helps.Just wanted u to know ur not alone

claire x

loopylu86

10-10-12, 20:27

Exactly!! If I hadn't of worried about feeling anxious then I wouldn't of lol. It is ridiculous and SO frustrating. I am choosing to be alone when I actually WANT to chat and be normal and catch up with my friends. So I have been in my bed calming down for the past hour! I also just had one of those deja vu's when you not only get the sensation that it has happened before but that you can almost predict what is going to happen next. Apparently these are common with anxiety. I also just thought back to a childhood knitting memory...although I wouldn't say a memory..I just had a flash thought of walking through my nans door as a child and doing knitting..Now that the thought has gone...I don't think it was a real memory but happened straight before the deja vu! I don't know if this is anxiety distorting things or my new meds dosage...but it's very freaky!

---------- Post added at 20:27 ---------- Previous post was at 20:04 ----------

hello your not alone with this im not able to socialise properly yet either i can only have my dad around me i havent seen my sisters in over 6 months and my friends i havent seen aswell as i find it hard to cope with myself and my feelings when they come on.I get wound up and very anxious at the thought of somebody coming to house even when a parcel comes i dont like it and i get anxious talking on the phones so i dont like that either.But your doing reallly well to still of seen ur friend despite of how u felt my therapist says more practice becomes easier.Its because our nervous system is tired and all our symtoms and feelings and emotions are exaggerated cos we are sensitised.Ive only just started going in to shops and getting used to that.Its ourselves we are afraid of not the places or situations or people.Have u heard of the cd by dr claire weekes called pass through panic its very good can buy it on amazon.Have u tried exhaling slowly when u feel anxious and letting all your muscles sag just loosening that tight grip on yourself almost like a floppy rag doll this may help with the tension just float through the moment.This is what i feel helps a bit its just putting evrything into practice and being brave to do it and u are doing it good for u keep it up.Keep going look at it all as practice time.Hope this helps.Just wanted u to know ur not alone

claire x

I get the telephone thing too when highly anxious!! Lol. I am feeling a little more relaxed now and I feel good because I told myself during the visit that it was all due to an over stimulated nervous sysytem etc and they were just symptoms etc and it did help. Hopefully bit by bit I can start making non anxious connections with visitors. I just have to keep trying!! xx

MissHDynamite

10-10-12, 20:40

I am the same lately.. a friend of mine text me on saturday to see if I was up to visitors for a cuppa and a chat and I panicked and said no, not at the moment! Straight away I am thnking the "what if" malarky.. like you say, we want friends and company and then we panic when they're coming.. so frustrating xx

MargaretHale

10-10-12, 21:11

Hi there,

I can so relate to this. I've been suffering from Anxiety, Panic attacks and agoraphobia for two years now and at it's worst I couldn't even answer the phone.
I miss my family and friends so much, most of my friends have given up on me as I don't share what's wrong with me (too embarrassed) and just kept putting them off.

I feel really down about it all tonight, in a weird way it's good to know I'm not alone.

paranoidtree

10-10-12, 22:25

i'm the same! though sometimes when people do come around it's easier than i imagined it was going to be and i do relax but then it's like i catch myself and get all panicked again. guess it's another one of those things to learn to deal with.

BobbyDog

11-10-12, 07:39

I can relate to this too.
If someone comes to my house to visit, I sometimes hold my breath when they are speaking to me and also take shallow breaths because of extreme anxiety. I go to my Mum's house, sit down for 5 minutes, before I am paralyzed with fear and have to get up and leave, I get extremely paranoid and I feel trapped.

loopylu86

11-10-12, 07:53

It really is a nightmare. I am the same when visiting others too. I feel that if I want to do anything these days it can not be premeditated...I have to do everything impulsively. If someone says "I will pop over in the week" or "let's do lunch on the weekend" it sets me off. If I have a day where my anxiety is calmer then I can maybe impulsively do something but otherwise..My new line and answer to every invite these days is "I don't make plans...I like to go with the flow" which is anxiety speak for "I might be having a panic attack that day" lol. Grrrrrrr :mad:

lola25

11-10-12, 08:49

I'm exactly the same if some asks me to do something ill get nerves to the point were ill get all angry and start an argument so I turn round and say I'm not going lol its mad.

MargaretHale

11-10-12, 11:24

Isn't it crazy? Why the hell can't we snap our fingers and say 'right, no more...I'm going back to how I was'
I have mornings like that, I think 'stuff it, I'm going out today' and then I get to the door and everything spins...

Sick of it. :weep: I miss taking my teenager for a coffee and a natter. Used to do it a few times a week, I think he thinks I'm not interested any more.

BobbyDog

11-10-12, 11:55

JoannaS

11-10-12, 12:30

I know what you mean hun, I always avoid social situations if I can. Like tomorrow, I'm off work and was thinking about just popping round to see a friend who lives round the corner, but I won't plan it until tomorrow until I know what state of mind I'm in. I don't want to be having one of those days when I'm having head pains and feeling dizzy and then have to see someone I know!

I can do laid-back socialising where there's a big group of people just having a drink down the pub, as I feel I can easily escape if I need to and no one will notice. Whereas if it's a small group or just one on one, then I feel trapped. I can't do sit down meals anymore, I avoid those like the plague. It's not too bad if we're sitting in a corner of a restaurant against a wall with my back against something but I can't sit in the middle of a place - I come over all dizzy and have to practically cling onto the table to steady myself. It's not a pleasant experience, I can tell you that. Booths I'm also fine with, but little chairs are a big no no! I know I sound crazy but I can't seem to shift this weird sensation I get. I remember once when I was out with my hubby, we were seated at the smallest 2-seater table in the middle of a restaurant and after about 5 minutes I had to be asked to be moved. I spotted a nice big booth in the corner and afterwards I was fine, completely relaxed. Eating out is a bit of a pain so I only do it if I can't avoid it!

MissLady83

11-10-12, 17:31

I can relate to a lot of the posts it's horrible!! Some days ill even feel nervy around people I've known for a long time and even family!! Strange ha

Along with the nerves I get hot flushes and sweat. But I've thought sod it I'm not gonna let it run my life and still go out for meals and out and about, some days I don't want to like everyone but majority of the time i think to myself stop being so stupid and enjoy life. Nasty nerves :)