Zodiac
11-10-12, 12:29
I did my first and only post in May this year when I realised I suffer from an anxiety disorder. I was feeling positive, was due to see a CBT therapist and convinced myself I would be strong, that I wouldn't need to come back on this forum, that I would get better.
Let's just say the past 6 month's have been a bumpy journey. I have had good weeks when I felt like my old self, but more often than not have found myself living in the foggy headedness of health anxiety. It's all due to being a mum to my two lovely girls and the huge fear that something is going to happen to me and they won't have a mum. For goodness sake pull yourself together, that's what others say, but we know it's not that easy.
I seemed to be on to a winner just two weeks ago when I started taking vitamins and they made me feel amazing - oh so it was actually a vitamin deficiency (far easier to accept that, than my crazy mind causing all of this). But no, just last week my recurring back problem (now sciatica) hit vith a vengeance and my crazy thoughts (my legs are going to come out of the pelvis...is that where they are?), and so the foggy head returns. Just now I choked (not sure on what), and then felt that I couldn't breathe...have I suddenly developed asthma, am I going to die? Of course I haven't, and of course I'm not.
I am however accepting that conquering this will take time. That I'm not any better than any of you and that I DO need this forum, at least so I can relate to you all and what you're going through, to share my own thoughts and fears. This forum / site has calmed me down, helped me breathe, and I hope it helps me to conquer those crazy thoughts that right now have the loudest voice.:)
Let's just say the past 6 month's have been a bumpy journey. I have had good weeks when I felt like my old self, but more often than not have found myself living in the foggy headedness of health anxiety. It's all due to being a mum to my two lovely girls and the huge fear that something is going to happen to me and they won't have a mum. For goodness sake pull yourself together, that's what others say, but we know it's not that easy.
I seemed to be on to a winner just two weeks ago when I started taking vitamins and they made me feel amazing - oh so it was actually a vitamin deficiency (far easier to accept that, than my crazy mind causing all of this). But no, just last week my recurring back problem (now sciatica) hit vith a vengeance and my crazy thoughts (my legs are going to come out of the pelvis...is that where they are?), and so the foggy head returns. Just now I choked (not sure on what), and then felt that I couldn't breathe...have I suddenly developed asthma, am I going to die? Of course I haven't, and of course I'm not.
I am however accepting that conquering this will take time. That I'm not any better than any of you and that I DO need this forum, at least so I can relate to you all and what you're going through, to share my own thoughts and fears. This forum / site has calmed me down, helped me breathe, and I hope it helps me to conquer those crazy thoughts that right now have the loudest voice.:)