What a day! Totally exhausted now.

[paranoidtree]

well after having a really bad tummy Monday night and feeling awful all day Tuesday, i was actually really positive yesterday and even this morning when i woke. i was nervous today as had a medical assessment appointment for my new job which was a 1/2 hour journey away but i prepared myself and felt i could even manage it without taking diazepam.

Well, that was until i went to get dressed and a spider crawled out of the clothes i had put on my bed. I'm terrified of the things but i found the strength and dealt with it. I posted about it on facebook but then someone i know commented something horrible and then that set me off really, i got to the appointment but had to take diazepam. I even managed to get through the appointment and the Occupational Health person said i was fit for the job and gave me a few ideas on how to help myself and the anxiety. I drove home and goodness knows how but managed to get a few bits from Morrisions (though forgot the milk) but i'm now home and feel exhausted. i feel tired, have a headache, still got the random pains in different areas of my tummy. it's like i've had the life sucked out of me.

I know she said i could handle the job but after today i'm not sure. Confidence at rock bottom at the moment :weep:

[loopylu86]

I have been out today and it really is a struggle isn't it? I went for a gentle walk for only 20 mins and recently I have had a 90 min nap in the day but have refrained and fought the urge to today because I want better sleep in the nights. I feel absolutely exhausted too!! I think this is normal with anxiety. At least the good thing is that the more stuff you do..the more normal and positive connections will be made and retrained in your brain and in time we will be doing these things with ease and not be so tired! Well done today!! xx

[cos123]

Hi loopylou 7 paranoidtree: the more stuff you do..the more normal and positive connections will be made and retrained in your brain. God Looplou that may be the phrase I needed today. I keep falling back in to my patterns of inertia and terror. It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon here and I'm still in my nightclothes. My brain keeps telling me even if I do little tasks and get out of the house I'm still going to feel like this so what's the point. Why are these patterns so hard to break when I know they get me nowhere. How do I get past that. You both are very brave and I applaud you both. Paranoid tree going for that interview was so great. Only us sufferers know how hard those things are to do with anxiety.
I upped my Cipralex to 10 mg the last three nights (day 15 of the cit)but I keep waking in the night with a start, that horrible rush of adreneline. Yesterday i went and got my hair cut, cooked supper now today I feel back at square 1.
Do you guys set goals for yourself for the day or how do you do it?
cos123

[loopylu86]

Hi loopylou 7 paranoidtree: the more stuff you do..the more normal and positive connections will be made and retrained in your brain. God Looplou that may be the phrase I needed today. I keep falling back in to my patterns of inertia and terror. It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon here and I'm still in my nightclothes. My brain keeps telling me even if I do little tasks and get out of the house I'm still going to feel like this so what's the point. Why are these patterns so hard to break when I know they get me nowhere. How do I get past that. You both are very brave and I applaud you both. Paranoid tree going for that interview was so great. Only us sufferers know how hard those things are to do with anxiety.
I upped my Cipralex to 10 mg the last three nights (day 15 of the cit)but I keep waking in the night with a start, that horrible rush of adreneline. Yesterday i went and got my hair cut, cooked supper now today I feel back at square 1.
Do you guys set goals for yourself for the day or how do you do it?
cos123

I upped from 10mg of cit (35 days in) 4 days ago to 20mg and I felt back to square one the last few days but I decided to stop researching so much and have really got stuck in with my knitting and watching movies and surfing the net for non-anxiety related stuff. I went for a 20 min walk to a local castle and walked the perimeter. There IS a point to getting ready and yes at first you will feel that way when out but you KNOW that you need to get out there to start the process of retraining your brain and making positive connections. The quicker you get out there and face the possibility of panic the quicker you will rcover. So strange how it works. When I had a panic attack on Sunday I spent Mon/Tues in the house. What I should of done...despite how hard...was got straight back out there. So get changed and go for a small walk. I felt woozy during but so much more relaxed this evening! xx

[cos123]

ok I'm going to wash my face, put some clothes on and go pick up my shoes at the repair shop.
thanks loopylou, stay strong

cos123

[paranoidtree]

thanks, it was incredible hard. the lady i saw was very nice though and helped put me at ease. my brain is having a hard time being re-trained. i do try to set tasks each day but i'm not always sure they are challenging enough or whether i give myself enough credit when i do them, at the moment always looking at the negative. just feel like i need to break the negativity habit :P