PDA

View Full Version : Tackling social anxiety



NoPoet
11-10-12, 17:42
Hi all, I think this is my first foray into the world of social anxiety.

I was recently diagnosed with aspergers, which is a form of autism where you get extra horsepower in your brain (:D) but unfortunately have social problems (:ohmy:) in the form of social anxiety and difficulty handling relationships (romantic, friends, work).

It's flaring up at the moment because I've joined a web forum where I have done a lot of reviews which are not yet published. This should happen over the next couple of days. However some members of the forum can be aggressive and can turn on people and I now have reason to believe they won't like some of my opinions on a couple of things I've reviewed.

I can't rationally explain why this bothers me - but I'm getting the adrenaline and trembling which hasn't affected me for months now, and I'm already beating myself up and dreading the response to my reviews.

If anyone wants to talk about this stuff and how they deal with it, I'm all ears!

KK77
12-10-12, 04:37
This sounds more like anticipatory anxiety to me Poet. We will get criticism (and, yes, sometimes nonconstructive and nasty) in all walks of our lives, and it seems to me that once actually faced with this new challenge, you'll cope admirably and wonder what all the fuss was about.

I've done writing myself and suffer with GAD, but the best approach is to be on your guard but also have an air of aloofness and detachment. Remember, it's a lot easier for someone to criticise than actually write the darn book.

NoPoet
13-10-12, 22:57
Hi, thanks for the advice :)

Well the reviews went up, there was a flame war about one of them, but I actually wrote 17 and only 1 was really criticised. I guess I know how to get a response. Some people were against me, some for me, but on the internet you have to understand that if people have read something but not commented on it, it's probably acceptable. People only tend to complain about the reviews they didn't like. So you are pretty much guaranteed to get negative feedback.

I am much better at handling this now and I was able to smack down the critics, since they targeted me instead of my reviews. They were really insulting, turning on others and not just myself, so I used well-chosen words, explained my point of view, and held my nerve. I didn't insult people or call names or flame back, although one person was doing my head in and I eventually told him to "Get your head out of your arse, wash your mouth out and write some reviews before you criticise those who already have done. And read 'how to be a people person'".

The main thing is I faced it, I learned a crapload about writing reviews, and I will not forget this experience.