Can't stop thinking about bowel diseases

[Ventussi]

So it's me again. I've got terrible thoughts recently. Almost every time I have to go to the toilet, I'm looking at 'this thing' very thoroughly and looking for any signs of blood or mucus. None of them has been seen so far but every time I do it it's a kind of stress to me.

The worst thing is when I sometimes get a diarrhea - which I do, because I have IBS (i didn't have colonoscopy though, my doctor just told me it) - the red light appears in my head and you know the rest - i'm off totally for one day.

Unfortunately, I read too much about IBDs, like Crohn or Ulcerative Colitis and I just can't imagine what would I do if I was diagnosed with one of those. I've read about people with holes in belly due to complications, geez this sounds like a horror to me. I've had a few times stomach flu - I had to go to the toilet I don't know... maybe 10 times at most, during the day. And I was a wreck that time. I can't imagine, I could go there 30 times or more. I'd rather kill myself.

I've realized that I'm not afraid of death itself. I'm afraid of the suffering I'd have to pass through, afraid of pain, of discomfort of constant diarrhea, afraid of surgeries. I just can't stand how's that possible, that the body rebels against itself and does such horrible damage to the intestines, things like CD or CU :(

As far as I know, the Admin suffers from Crohn's. Nicola, you must be really brave to bare all these horror-like things. Geez... I hope one day somebody finds out what is the reason of autoimmune diseases and therefore, finds a way to stop this horrifying reaction of the body.

[almamatters]

Me too. As my earlier post today, have serious bowel worries at the moment, but it is only since I developed health anxiety that I have made such a habit of checking my bowel movements. Not going to even look at them tomorrow, until I have been to my GP appointment. I have been freaking out all day because of what happened this morning. My husband has Crohns and manages really well. He does not have health anxiety though and thinks of it as one of those things!

[nomorepanic]

I think that what happens is you learn to cope with it because you have no choice Ventussi.

There is no cure for Crohn's so I have to live with it sadly.

I did have a really bad time of things 4 years ago when I had the flareup and the heart attack and I could have died at the time as they could not operate due to the heart attack.

I had a tube in my abdomen draining pus filled abcesses for 7 months.

Yes it was a pretty horrendous time but I am now on very strong medication and the Crohn's is pretty calm.

I do have IBS and that causes me more problems.

I also have Diverticular Disease so I am collecting the set lol

I guess what I am saying is you cope because you have to. There is nothing else I can do until they find a cure for such things like you say.