Dreading The Psychiatrist Tomorrow

[Edward_1980]

I have to see Dr. Dooley tomorrow for a review and I am dreading the situation. The last time I was there two weeks ago there was a complete communication breakdown. She was whispering and I couldn't talk with anxiety and a lump in my throat and the session didn't go well. We just didn't understand each other and I came away feeling like I was a failure and that she just didn't undersatnd me. She also brought in an under study without my consent. I think I should have been asked before she brought him in. I really felt like the session was like a job interview. I have to see her again tomorrow and I am dreading it. I'm on a medical card and my sessions are public so I just have to see whatever Doctor is on that day. I wish I could go private, but we just can't afford it. I did look into a private Psychiatrist, but they charge a big amount and with me not working and about to be medically reviewed for Disability Allowence in the next few weeks, it just isn't possible. The trouble with being public and on the HSE, I just don't know which Doctor I am going to see. It's like "she's there, you see her". I know for a fact that I won't get any sleep tonight. I just feel terrible about tomorrow, but I am trying to remain positive like I have been over the past few days.

[Annie0904]

You have been doing really well Edward so don't let this get you down again. Try to relax tonight...you never know tomorrow might go a lot better than you think :) x

[Laura123]

Agree with Annie on this one, what have you got to lose, nothing, you never know, you may gel better next time round? Good luck tomorrow xxxx

[Edward_1980]

Thanks guys,

I don't mean to sound ungreatful, because I am, but she's awful. I just felt "questioned" the last time. It was horrible. She was "Instructing" her under study and even said, and I'm not one to be picky, "Engage Edd in conversation about his addiction to Valium and Ativan, ask him questions about his abusive use". I felt like I was a criminal in an interview. I know she's gonna be there tomorrow because she told me she would "See me in two weeks". I'm seriously thinking of not going. I'm not able to put up with her.

How dare she ask her understudy to question me about me addiction. I know I'm a recovering addict and I'm ashamed of that already. She didn't have to ask him, right in front of my eyes, to question me about. I am off that stuff now and on Lyrica for the GAD.

Still, if I do manage to go there tomorrow I will challenge her on this. I'm not going to come away feeling like crap again after a session with her.

[Wolfie]

Hi Ed,

I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I would have felt the same.

If the student is there, you are perfectly within your rights to say no to having the student in the same room - they should have asked out of respect and this is also a confedentiality issue.

You're far from ungreatful, it's just you never know what you're gunna get with docs or anyone in the medical profession, it takes a while to get through all the bad eggs just to find a good one to stick with.

Keep going and keep trying. Maybe even change your appointment to another day which she doesn't suggest so there's less chance of getting her. But, yeah, keep going and doing your best, don't let one psych put you off from getting help man.

Let us know how it all goes!

Chris

[fozzy is crying]

Actually they need to ask and get your permission for anyone else to be present and it is your legal right to say NO!!

So if someone else is there tell them you do not want them present if that is what you want.

Gordon

[Edward_1980]

Thank you so much Chris.

I guess my main agrument is that she just introduced him to me without my consent. I felt like a right fool being questioned like that. Do you know what she said? I think it was highly insulting that she said "While I write up the meds why don't you engage Edd in conversation about his addiction? I felt like a right fool in there.

I am going to go tomorrow Christ. If I get her again (You can't be picky on the public HSE promgramme) I will make my point clear. I'm sick to death of being accused of being an addict when my old GP in Cork put me on Diazepam, Xanax, Ativan and Stilnoct. To be honest, I didn't know about addiction until I became addicted to them over a course of over two years. I had to be weened down and tried to kill myself with an overdose because I couldn't cope with the withdrawal. I was sent to the local Psych ward to "Have a rest (Isn't that what they always tell you?). I'm over that now.

Chris, I just don't want to be subjected to the same thing I was two weeks ago :)

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it :)

[Wolfie]

Hey, no worries man.

I just hope they don't make you feel that way again! No one deserves to be made to feel bad in any way.

Hope it all goes well and like I said, please let us know how ya get on.

[Edward_1980]

I will update tomorrow when I am finished in there Chris :)

And thank you again.

[Serenitie]

Actually they need to ask and get your permission for anyone else to be present and it is your legal right to say NO!!

So if someone else is there tell them you do not want them present if that is what you want.

Gordon

True. Whether it is your GP, Psychiatrist or any medical or social care professional. No need to stress out about this. Just politely decline the student's presence.

[Edward_1980]

Well, I didn't know that I had the choice in all fariness.

[Serenitie]

Your psychiatrist should have asked your permission to have the student present and should not instruct students on their conduct in your presence. This is highly unprofessional. I supervised mental health social work students and wouldn't dream of conducting appointments with clients in this way.

Make it clear that you do not want students to sit in on your sessions now that you have become aware of your rights regarding this matter.

[Edward_1980]

Hiya guys,

Thanks for all the advice. I did see Dr. Dooley again today and when she was bringing the student in I politely told her that I didn't want him sitting in on the session. I also told her that the last time she saw me I was highly disappointed, not in her really, but in myself because I felt that I didn't work hard enough in the session to come away feeling positive. We talked about this today along with my depressive and paraniod thoughts and she talked me through it and asked me why I was having those thoughts. I explained to her that I am afraid of people spying on me and plotting to harm me, even killing me and that it was hard for me to go there today because of those feelings. We didn't have time to talk about everything today because it is a public service and there was a waiting room full of people. I have no been upped to 25mg Zyprexa and 45mg Zispin. I don't know what they will do for me because I don't take them until the night, but I will report back in the Medication Forum. Basically, today was hard for me because of the people in the waiting room, but I did breathing and really tried to block out the anxiety and paraniod feelings. I think I achieved something today talking about my health and I came away feeling positive and relaxed in the thought that I had a good chat with her and got a few things off of my mind. I'm still positive now, though a little anxiety is kicking in about the highered dose of medication. I'll just have to stop worrying and take them tonight and see what happens. All in all, a good day so far and I really hope that everyone else is having one too :)

[Annie0904]

Pleased it went well for you today...Well done :)

[Edward_1980]

I was told to do my breathing excersises Elad. We even went as far as to do them together. She actually surprised me Elad, because she told me to place my left hand on my stomach and feel the air going in and out of my lungs. Then she told me to think of a beach with the sound of the ocean waves crashing on the shore.

The only thing she didn't like was me not being able to attend my Anxiety managment classes that start last Friday. I wasn't able to do it because of the crowds in the group. I even freaked out a little in the waiting room but I managed to get myself out of it and return to being calm.

She also told me that the feelings weren't real and no one was going to harm me. She asked me when I last went into a crowded place and I told her it was the other week when I went to see a movie with my partner for his birthday. I told how afraid I was that someone would harm me. She told me to hold on and asked me did anything happen to me. I told her that it didn't and she said "Exactly, nothing happened even though you were afraid of someone harming you". I agreed and she told me that the next time I go out to concentrate on nice thoughts about the day and what I am going through. I felt I got a lot out in 40mins.

---------- Post added at 16:36 ---------- Previous post was at 16:35 ----------


Pleased it went well for you today...Well done :)

Thank you so much Annie :)

[Edward_1980]

That's all that was said for this session Elad. I know the thoughts are bad. I also get told that all the time. We really haven't gone deep with this as of yet, but we are getting there. I'm so sorry you can't get anything out of my post and what happened today. I apologize for that.

[Wolfie]

Ah! Brilliant to hear that your visit went alot better today :) And even better that you came away feeling a bit of positivity too!

A sign of things on their way up, Ed, just remember to not be too hard on yourself and focus on positivity and getting better! And don't forget that you overcame any anxieties stemming from paranoia and you went today - victories like these show you can do it :)

[Edward_1980]

Thank you very much Wolfie :) I think remaining positive is the key to my recovery. Been positive all week now and laying to rest a lot of my anxiety and fears. I yet have to be diagnosed as to why I am very paraniod, but I'm not dwelling on that and putting it out of my mind. I will deal with that when it happens, but for now I am enjoying my life for the first time in a very long time.

[Sparkle1984]

I'm glad your session went well today. It sounds like you're on the road to recovery. Well done! :)

[Laura123]

Well done Edward, so glad you went. You are doing great keep it positive xxx

[Edward_1980]

Thanks Laura,

Yet another positive day today despite feeling a little down thanks to my meds being upped. I got on with things instead of letting this little blip get me down further. I'm eating again without the fear of choking and I'm really looking foward to my chips with cheese and mayo in a while. Yes, today I'm starving lol.

[Annie0904]

So pleased to hear that Edward :yahoo:

[Edward_1980]

Thank you Annie :)