Tomorrow is another day...but I am already anxious!

[Annie0904]

Tomorrow is my cousins 50th birthday and my Aunt is taking all the family for a meal. Restaurants are just the worst for me! Especially if it is one I haven't been to before and I haven't been to this one. I am doing the CBT4Panic and will go but it will be a BIG challenge for me. It is for both sides of their family so I won't even know everyone. I keep going through things like 'well I could just leave if it gets too much' I did that once before though when we went for a meal with friends and it took a long time for the meal to arrive so I only had a couple of mouthfuls and ran out to the car park. One of my friends came out and she knows about my anxiety and I told her just to go back in and I would be fine in the car park. I had a mild panic attack but couldn't stop crying. So how do I convince myself that the same thing won't happen tomorrow?

[BobbyDog]

I am not sure if you suffer from Social Anxiety Annie, I do so I can relate to this. I am sure you are aware that exposure is the only way to beat the panic, face the fear, it may not be pleasant, but it is the only way forward. I know from reading your post's and thread's that you are a strong lady and you can do this!:D

[paranoidtree]

i agree with bobbydog, you are a really strong person Annie. Yes tomorrow will be a challenge but not necessarily one you can't handle. Read the booklet from CBT4PANIC and maybe choose an affirmation to help you through (my counsellor sent me one the other day: Fear is only a feeling...it cannot hold me back and...it won't!). Are you able to look at the website for the place you are going? Perhaps they have some pictures so you can see where you are going and maybe a menu so you can plan what you are comfortable eating? Also, is your husband going with you? If so make sure he knows how you are feeling so he can hold your hand. And remember, if you need to leave there is nothing wrong with that either! I'll be thinking of you :hugs:

[Annie0904]

Thank you both, My husband is going with me and is always supportive. I don't really know if I would call mine social anxiety, it is more fear of the unknown. I am usually okay most places when I get there apart from restaurants. I think I associate most of my anxiety with food. At the time my anxiety and panic attacks started I was really ill a few times after going for a meal (running to the loo and being sick). Now I think it will happen every time I eat out. I can be eating and enjoying the meal then all of a sudden I panic and tell myself if I eat any more I will be sick! I am intolerant to certain foods as well so that doesn't help. I don't mind carverys so much because I just put a small amount on my plate. That is a good idea Paranoidtree to look it up on the internet...I will do that. Thank youi

[paranoidtree]

no problem Annie, i'm a bit like you. i get really anxious about food as i have such a fear of being sick/feeling nauseous and now avoid eating out. after a tummy bug monday i've been struggling with eating this week even with homecooked food which i know is safe! when i do go to eat out i normally try and research where i am going to at least put my mind at ease and normally choose something quite simple from the menu (like a salad, meat and two veg type thing). i think you are going to do just fine!

[Annie0904]

I found a menu and they do a roast dinner so I will have that. I try to stick to plain foods and panic if it is all fancy stuff in strange sauces!

[MRS STRESS ED]

I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow, i no how you feel ive got a party tomorrow there will be alot of people i dont no and that worries me ,but i really hope you have a good nightxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[paranoidtree]

mmm...i've not had a roast dinner in ages! Mouth is watering slightly, maybe that will go on the menu for this Sunday!

[Annie0904]

I don't mind going places where my brother in law (on my husband's side) is going because he has a big appetite and eats what I leave so it doesn't look as if I have left so much! once we were in a B&B and when they asked what we wanted for breakfast the woman must have thought I was mad because I was asking my brother in law what I wanted because he would be the one eating most of mine and his!!

[Elle-Kay]

I was going to suggest looking the restaurant up on the 'net too Annie. I see you've already done that, and a roast dinner sounds good - you can't go far wrong with a roast :) I have the same as you about going out for a meal. If we do, we tend to stick to familiar local restaurants so I feel as comfortable as possible.

It is a big challenge for you, but I'm quite sure that you will rise to it marvellously - you've been doing so well, especially with having the builders in to do your drive this week, and if you remember your CBT4Panic stuff tomorrow I think you might surprise yourself :) I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

[Annie0904]

Thank you Elle-Kay...I will let you know how I get on when I get back...hopefully it will go well. I was away with my husband once and we went to the restaurant to eat and I didn't even get through the door! I just burst into tears and we ended up going to the garage near the hotel and buying pot noodles to eat in our room!

[Elle-Kay]

I had a similar experience to that on our honeymoon, of all times! We booked into a really nice small hotel on the Chatsworth estate for a long weekend, but I couldn't eat in the restaurant at all and didn't want to waste money on room service (that's the Yorkshire blood in me! lol), so we ended up having pre-packed salad/pasta/sandwiches in our room after I burst into tears & said I wanted to go home (we didn't as it turned out). I felt so guilty though, but of course hubby was supportive - I think he was just happy to have something to eat! :)

[Annie0904]

If I cope with this tomorrow it will be a big achievement for me as restaurants are the worst places for me...I just feel trapped behind a table. Not so bad if I can be near a door. I have put my CBT4Panic booklet in my handbag ready for support :)
My ear ache has come back today and I know it is because I feel anxious about tomorrow. I spoke to my doc yesterday and told him again about the heartbeats in my ear and how they get worse when I am anxious. He said there is an artery going up there and the more anxious I get the more it affects my ear because of the increased blood flow. He just sits and smiles at me most of the time when I am telling him things and I just smile back and say "its just my anxiety isn't it?"

[loopylu86]

You can do it Annie! I get anxious just being invited to someone's house or them coming to me so know how brave you are to be going for the meal. I think you will sail through it!!! xx

[Annie0904]

I hope so...wish it was over with...I am going to try to be brave!! xx

[Edward_1980]

Annie, you can do this. Just try to remain positive. Everything will be fine. I will be thinking of you :)

[Annie0904]

Thank you Edward :)

[Edward_1980]

You are very welcome Annie...The very best of luck to you :)