GP visit - waste of time

[Silly Blonde]

Went to docs last night as have been struggling with bad lower stomach ache, diarrhoea, lower back ache etc etc. I am trying really hard to tell myself that these are all just withdrawal symptoms from coming off my meds, but it ainlt working.

I burst into tears and told her I thought I had ovarian cancer. She didn;t do much to reassure me - in fact, I'm even more worried now. I had tried to tell myself that it is uncommon in younger women - but then she went and told me that it can occur in women under 50!!!

I'm mad at my psychiatrist too - he told me to step down my meds from 45mg to 35mg then finally to 15mg and stop. I did this over a period of 2 months and I feel dreadful. My GP advised (as Hayles mentioned) that I "should have" dropped doen even further to 15mg every other day and then one every third day etc etc. But she did say that as I took my last pill on Friday evening, there was "no going back" really and I ought to just go cold turkey.

I have crawled into work again, with crippling stomach ache and just want to go home, curl up and never wake up.:(

SB xx

[hayles]

Oh SB how truely terrible you are feeling so rough again!

Your GP sounds ****e! Where we live we have this charity thing called the Mary How Trust (live in West Sussex)
Now you can book in here and they do a health screen for all female cancers etc......you have bloods, urine and poo samples, a scan etc. This is all run by a charity and all you have to do is make a donation (I think I paid £50.00)

It beats paying about £400.00 for private, but Maybe if you search you may have soemthing like this in your area.....or if you are not far from me then maybe you could book one down here!???

Search in Google and you will find it....it may put your mind at rest with the female cancers!

Shame about the cold turkey.....but looks like you have no choice. Stick it out love....It cant get any worse can it!!!!

My docs has referred me for Physio as she thinks my head pains are caused by neck tension.....and she advised that if it was serious then it would have got progressively worse over the last 6 months!!!! and she defiantly thinks it is tension etc!!!!

Wonder How long i will accept that for!!!

keep your chin up and your immodium handy!!!!!

Big Hugs

Hay x

[reddevil]

Hi,

I have appointment today at 11:40 as I have lower back pain, stomach ache etc.

Red

[Silly Blonde]

Thanks for the replies. I'm still in work - feeling pretty shocking - stomach ache has now transformed into heartburn - so am now imagining that I have a huge tumour growing inside me that presses on different areas.

I know I know I only had a pelvic ultrasound in March (as I had similar symptoms then) and so I guess I have to accept that if it was clear then, it will be the same now.

Not sure I really want to put myself through a load more tests etc. I know I need to learn to reassure myself - but not easy!

Got appointment to see psychiatrist on Thurs and also one to see my psychologist on Thurs. Am going to read the riot act with both of them. I am prepared to work at this - but will not simply throw money at it.

Rant over...sorry!

SB x

[Silly Blonde]

Hi Hayles - just looked at the website re the trust you mentioned. I've had all the usual bloods done, smear came back normal, had a pelvic ultrasound to check for cysts etc......!!! Even got the t-shirt!!

So I guess after reading that - I do actually feel a little better (if a bit silly!!) - as I seem to have had most tests. And if I think logically - if a huge tumour is causing these symptoms - why did the ultrasound not spot it at the end of March (given that I had the same symptoms then).

My problem is that I just can't accept how powerful and nasty anxiety can be - If I get an ache or pain, I automatically think - "physical" and "serious" - and the cycle begins!!!

If I could just accept that I suffer from health anxiety - then maybe I could move on. But how on earth do I do this......??

"Hi, I'm a Silly Blonde and I am not dying from cancer, but I do have a nasty dose of health anxiety!"

Hmmmmmm.........any hints and tips most welcome!

SB xx

[hayles]

Hints and tips....like I have any.
I am just as dosey as the rest of us.

Hi, im Hay and i am not dying from a brain tumour, just a huge dose of health anxiety too!!!!

I too need to accept the fact that it is just health anxiety......
Oh if only life was easy!!!!!

Hay x

[vernon]

Hi blonde, most doctors are like that don’t seem to care or have the time for people with anxiety related illnesses. And as for the psychiatrist, I seen one on many occasions with no help at all they seemed less helpful than the GP. I have had real bad lower back and stomached/bowel problems for years now and at times its real bed, but a couple of years ago my GP sent me to a gastro specialist who done a load of tests, like, Barium enema. Chest x-rays, blood tests and a sygmoidoscopy and all these where clear, I was like you convinced it was bowel cancer, the tests where not nice but it did make me feel better knowing that is was IBS and not something real bad. I came off antidepressants a few years ago, but like you said I did reduce a little for a couple of months, then a little more for a couple of months, then when on the lowest dose I went to one every other day etc, after being on them for years I think even if it takes a year to come of them is better than coming off them to fast? Anyway hope you start to feel a bit better soon. Take care, Vernon

[Silly Blonde]

Thanks Hayles and Vernon. I have been on the meds for about 18 months (probably 12 months longer than I should have been) - so I guess coming off them in two months is kind of abrupt!!!

Oh well - as my GP said (at least she was right about 1 thing) - I'm on Day 4 now of no meds at all - I really don't to go back and start taking them again - so I guess I just need to shut up and get on with it! Like you say Hayles, surely this can't get any worse.

Problem is - the meds supposedly helped me in the first place - but coming off them is making me feel so bad - I am worrying all over again! Typical.

Like you Hayles - we want to start a family soon-ish - so want to be drug free before we even contemplate it! Need to get myself some CBT fast!!!

[hayles]

hey.

You sound a bit lighter as the day has gone on so hopefully posting this morning has chilled you out a little.

Perservere, it will be worth it.

PM me anytime xxx

Hay x

[vernon]

Yes health anxiety can be so bad and at times silly little things most people (including us sometimes) just ignore. I have had pretty bad anxiety, phobias about so many things, and health anxiety for so many years now. I had eye surgery 18 months ago after cancelling it for about three years as the fears where so overwhelming. I was 100% sure that while having surgery I would die while under or die of fright even before the surgery. In the end I was just about totally blind and couldn’t see to do anything, Garden watch TV etc. I was so so scared but mostly about leaving my wife and kids behind, and this was so real as most on here would tell you. Anyway When I Arrived at the hospital I told the doctor who came around about my fear and I didn’t really want to go to sleep for the op, He gave me some sedatives and Wow they where great. I had the surgery without going to sleep and the next morning when the dressings where removed I could see my watch and could see peoples faces, TV etc, this was great better than winning the lotto. My sight isn’t as good as other people but life is great just being able to see a little after so many years with no sight. So, what I am saying is you are all pretty young and don’t do what I done spent years and years of a rubbish life worrying about our health, I have many times been fully sure what I had was going to kill me and hear I am at 57 still here. Just think what a waste off life all that worrying was? Its hard but try and ignore any illnesses and just enjoy your life, cos when our time comes it will come, and having a second chance with my sight really made me realise we can enjoy life or just keep worrying and ruin it all. Take care and hope you feel better soon, Vernon, SB what meds where you on? TC

[Silly Blonde]

Hi Vernon

Thanks so much for that - it does make sense - but I guess its easier said than done!

I've been on mirtazapine for over 18 months - I was on 45mg, dropped down to 30mg in June, then down to 15mg in July - I took my last 15mg on friday night and boy am I suffering!

I am soooooo mad with my psychiatrist:( - I was never told to reduce to one every other day, then every 3rd day etc etc - and I had no idea it came in liquid form!! If I had known - I wouldn't have been so silly.

I suppose even 15mg is a lot - as my GP explained, 15mg is actually a recognised dose, and I had been taking them for a long time.

I feel sick and dizzy all day, but worse when I wake up (kind of get that horrid adrenalin rush as soon as I open my eyes), crippling stomach pains and lower back ache and and not forgetting the diarroeah (never was very good at spelling!!)

When will I start to feel ok again?? A week, 10 days, 2 weeks?? Not sure I can cope with feeling like this for much longer. But now I'm off them - I'm NOT taking anymore!!!

Thanks SB xx

[hayles]

Hey,

Not sure how long it will take to feel good again.
I still get dizzy periods now and it has been nearly 4 weeks. But i think that is more to do with anxiety then anything else!!!!

Perservere.......I know you are going to NOT go back on them, but try and be patient, its your body adjusting......you know about drug addicts and the physical pain they go through when going into rehad etc....this is the same thing!

Hope you feel better soon xxx

Hay x

[Silly Blonde]

Thanks Hayles. I'm going to see my psych tomorrow - so am going to tell him exactly what I think of his poor advice re withdrawal. I'm not craving the tablets (not like cigarettes!!!) - just sick of feeling bad.

Felt really sick when I woke up and still feel nauseous now - with tummy ache and back ache. Really dodgy tummy - not that I'm a mum yet, but its like what they say about a newborn's first number 2!!!! Strange sense of satisfaction in knowing that this "thing" is now leaving my body for good!! [Sorry - perhaps a little too close to lunchtime!!]

I suppose you're right - my body has had this thing in it for over 18 months - so its not going to disappear overnight.

I'm just annoyed because my main problem (like everyone else on here) is that I get a symptom and worry about it. So now that I have all these withdrawal symptoms - hey presto - I'm worrying that it might be more, or that the drugs were keeping something at bay and now it has been brought to life.

My psych should know me by now - and I really feel let down - he should have minimised any chance of bad withdrawal symptoms to avoid me hitting the slippery slope of worrying again.

SB xx

[jackie]

i was wondering had you tried homeopathic or herbal alternatives SB

jackie