Please Don't Judge Me Too Hard

[xtremx]

Right I am not a bad person or a Cruel father but I find myself in a vicious circle.


With my panic attacks when I get them as with most off us the symptoms we get scare the life out of us and then we try to avoid the what triggers them.
One of my triggers at the moment is the thought of having a panic attack and ending up spending the night in a&e as I have done twice with concerns of having a heart attack and losing my family.

But this is having a very bad effect on my temper I seem to lose it at the slightest thing mainly with my kids (I would never hurt them) but I do swear at them alot using the F bomb constantly as in shut the F up and be bloody F ing quite and stuff like that as for some reason it seem to take my mind away from my feelings.

But this is not good as my daughter is only 3 1/2 and my son 12 and my temper out bursts are daily sometimes every hour as I cannot stand the noise and stuff.

I really try not to but I start to feel my chest ache and my jaw and think that bad things are about to happen so I get into a outburst every night I think things must change but they never.

I have told my doctor and mental health worker about this and they just said it is something i just have to control but i find it damn hard.

I try to shut off from it all but that never works it just always the thought that the anxiety that a growing family is having on me is that i am going to have a major attack anf end up with the lights flashing on the way to a&e (and as we most know it is a scary place when you are all alone).

But when my anxiety symptoms start up it is always chest pain and jaw pain, But my doctor says it is just anxiety.

As I said Please Don't Judge Me Too Hard I really do try to stay calm

[k77be]

Anxiety and anger seem to go hand in hand. I've found myself flipping out over silly things and then feeling guilty about it, which then feeds the anxiety even more. I get loads of muscle aches as well, jaw, neck, shoulders. It's all muscle tension caused by the anxiety.

You been given any meds to help the anxiety?

You ever looked in to hypnotherapy? I have hypnotherapy and its definatly helped me, have more confidence now than I did and have some stratergies to help with things. I still have trouble with things but its more manageable.

[starlight78]

Not judging at all! Anxiety doesn't bring the best out of us and sometimes just coping with yourself is enough, let alone coping with youngsters also.

Do you talk to your little ones when you're calm?
I agree hypnotherapy and relaxationay help, and also meds if you aren't already on them?

Sending all best wishes to you

[MissHDynamite]

As said anxiety and anger, well i think it's more frustration come hand in hand most times. I have done it myself letting of steam, hurt and frustration.

Unfortunately as I know you know. otherwise you wouldn't have posted.. it is wrong and you need to seek help for your anxieties. It is incredibly hard to deal with small children and their noise, dogs, cats, and sometimes adults when you are in a world of anxiety so don't ever think you are on your own. And it is very brave of you to write that post so well done for recognising the problem just get down to that docs and get some support.

good luck x

[Laura123]

Hi. Sorry to hear how stressed you are right now. I am not judging you, I have kids too and I know how hard it can be dealing with anxiety and kids, it gets to us all at times. What I would say, and I am sure you already know this, is that your kids are building childhood memories, and the way we raise our kids is likely to be the way they will raise their kids, you have to set a good example and swearing at them even though you feel as bad as they do is only going to do them harm and perhaps make them anxious too. I know it sounds like I am judging but honest I am not, I make mistakes as a parent all the time, the trick is to learn from them. Next time you feel ready to swear or shout, go to the bathroom for 5 mins to cool down, also speak with your doctor about cbt which is really helpful at addressing the way you deal with pressure situations, I feel for you, like I said, I know only too well how hard it is. Remember, your kids love you and I know they would be over the moon to see you happy xx