Family!.. Am i Thinking Wrong Here?

[MissHDynamite]

Hi Guys... Sorry but it's me again!

This might be quite a long one but I would just like your thoughts...

I have 3 people in my life.. my partner (we don't live together), my dad who lives 100 mile round trip away and has a partner (my mum passed away 7 years ago) and my daughter who is 20, in her final year at Uni and has been with her boyfriend for over 3 years.

The problem is my dad and daughter don't like my partner although we have been together for over 12 years. I agree he did some horrible things years ago but hasn't for many years now.

So for the last 6 months my panic attacks have been horrendous both in the house, out the house and more so when I am on my own... this is where the problem lies.

For the 6 months my partner has pratically lived with me and taken care of me but when we asked for him to have a break for a couple of nights here and there, it never came. Two weeks ago he walked out as (and I understand) the pressure got too much for him. We haven't split he just desperate;y needed a couple of days break.

My daughter rang my dad to help and he came over for a few days... the problem I have now is that my dad and daughter say if he (partner) comes back they won't help anymore and that they're done! So for now (2 weeks) I have spoken to my partner but asked him to stay away for a while.

But today, I am feeling more down than ever as my dad and daughter have now suggested (after ignoring pleas for months, for my partner to have a little break now and again) that I go into some respite at the weekends so they can both do their own thing and they need a break!.. they won't have it at all that my partner comes instead.

I am at the point of getting in my car and dissapearing.. I am so annoyed that I am 47 and is this situation because of this complete phobia which has come out of nowhere and being "told" what I can do and what I can't.

I am feeling really angry and hurt about all this (not least about not seeing my partner for the 2 weeks). I am already hurting enough with not having a life and having this struggle of panic to get through each day.

Am I not thinking sensible about this or am I just being selfish?

So sorry for the long post.. Big Thanks for any thoughts xx

---------- Post added at 23:06 ---------- Previous post was at 20:15 ----------

Crikey!.. lots of people have viewed this post but no one has given me their thoughts... My way of thinking is that possibly my family would agree to disagree and help each other out aswell as help me at least get on my feet instead of being their way or no way... maybe I am wrong :doh:

[eternally optimistic]

Hi,

I guess you havent had many replies because your situation is quite personal and people like to respond to something they can completely relate to - so dont be offended by the lack of replies.

I most definitely dont think that you are being selfish, at all. Again, not knowing your full circumstances, it is difficult to comment.

Hopefully, your dad and daughter are reacting in the way they are because they truly love and care for you but, as you say, you are 47 and quite adult enough to make your own decisions.

If, despite having a "break" from your partner, you feel you want them in your life, then you really shouldnt have to choose between them and your family members. That seems a little unfair.

All that aside, are you having any support from a GP or counsellor?

I cant really offer you great words of wisdom but, I do hope you sort this out.

Take care and keep smiling.

Jackie

[Stormsky]

Like you said, your 47 !
You have to do what you want, what's best for you...your father and daughter have their own lives, theyre not going to spend their life with you as a partner would...so they shd let you live yours, whether they like your choice in partner or not!
As for the constant panic, what medical help are you getting to get your life back? As im sure you wish you don't need to rely on others..

[MissHDynamite]

Thanks guys.. and yes, Jackie your probably right about people not being able to relate.

I guess I just feel stuck at the moment... I seem to have to choose who's side to go on and it's not easy when you love them all!

And yes Storm I hate the fact that I am relying on them the moment... where this fear has come from I have no idea!

I am having regular updates with my gp and I have a counsellor... strangley enough it is my lack of decision making and lack of self worth that has got me here in the first place.. I am one of those who never speaks her mind and puts up with everything, always putting others and their feelings first :shrug:

note to self< toughen up love... lol thanks again and hope your both doing well :) x