anon122
16-10-12, 00:12
i think i have had anxiety for a about 2 years now but i have only just recognised the symptoms as anxiety more than depression. its started to get worse.
i think to myself that i sound really silly because i havent even had a panic attack. - recently i feel like i am closer and closer to having one and i am ridiculously scared. im only 16 and a part of me feels like i am just attention seeking or something, i worry a lot that people will dismiss my feelings as hormonal or whatever. i cannot express to you enough how long i have just wanted to speak to someone about how i am feeling. i dont have any sort of sob story.. i havent been abused and ive had a normal childhood. recently after a stressful time for my mothers business - and in turn my household.. i started self harming (nothing serious) i have thoughts of suicide every hour of everyday. - im not ridiculously depressed because i smile and laugh and at times love being with my friends etc.
i think to myself a lot the reason for my anxiety is because i was brought up to think deeper into my thoughts and often find myself wishing i was a simple minded person. having said this i dont have to type of family i can speak to - not because they're horrible or whatever.. just because i know my mum/dad are also quite depressed people and my mum especially would dismiss my feelings as irrelevant/ over the top teenage stuff that ' i just need to get on with'
i know that i need help and that i need to see a doctor to get it - i dont particularly like the sound of medication but all i want is to talk to someone who will listen and take me seriously. the problem is that i cannot pluck up the courage to go to the doctors for the same reason i cant speak to my mum.
i have researched things like 'how to tell your doctor you have depression/anxiety' but im more concerned about actually making the appointment.. will they ask me what its for? what if they do? what would i say? id be embarrassed, ashamed .. what if i go to the doctor and he says im just over reacting? this will make me feel even more worthless than i already feel
all i know is its getting progressively worse.. feelings of fear, anger, i tense up and give my self headaches and make my self feel physically sick/faint and i know that this will eventually lead to a panick attack.. i would not like this to happen
how can i tell someone? (please dont tell me the usual cliche stuff)
im sorry for being so blunt, i also apologise for the poor grammer/punctuation.. please help me
i think to myself that i sound really silly because i havent even had a panic attack. - recently i feel like i am closer and closer to having one and i am ridiculously scared. im only 16 and a part of me feels like i am just attention seeking or something, i worry a lot that people will dismiss my feelings as hormonal or whatever. i cannot express to you enough how long i have just wanted to speak to someone about how i am feeling. i dont have any sort of sob story.. i havent been abused and ive had a normal childhood. recently after a stressful time for my mothers business - and in turn my household.. i started self harming (nothing serious) i have thoughts of suicide every hour of everyday. - im not ridiculously depressed because i smile and laugh and at times love being with my friends etc.
i think to myself a lot the reason for my anxiety is because i was brought up to think deeper into my thoughts and often find myself wishing i was a simple minded person. having said this i dont have to type of family i can speak to - not because they're horrible or whatever.. just because i know my mum/dad are also quite depressed people and my mum especially would dismiss my feelings as irrelevant/ over the top teenage stuff that ' i just need to get on with'
i know that i need help and that i need to see a doctor to get it - i dont particularly like the sound of medication but all i want is to talk to someone who will listen and take me seriously. the problem is that i cannot pluck up the courage to go to the doctors for the same reason i cant speak to my mum.
i have researched things like 'how to tell your doctor you have depression/anxiety' but im more concerned about actually making the appointment.. will they ask me what its for? what if they do? what would i say? id be embarrassed, ashamed .. what if i go to the doctor and he says im just over reacting? this will make me feel even more worthless than i already feel
all i know is its getting progressively worse.. feelings of fear, anger, i tense up and give my self headaches and make my self feel physically sick/faint and i know that this will eventually lead to a panick attack.. i would not like this to happen
how can i tell someone? (please dont tell me the usual cliche stuff)
im sorry for being so blunt, i also apologise for the poor grammer/punctuation.. please help me