Tractor
16-10-12, 09:00
I'm glad I have found this forum, as I never thought that I would end up in a position to need it. I'm a 31yr old male, married for 9yrs (together for 11), with 3 young children and a physical job working shifts.
From my parents splitting when I was young, through a number of attempts at suicide in my early teens, to 3 years of marriage troubles (and various other life-affecting events), I finally cracked a few days ago.
Uncontrollable shaking, crying at almost anything, not being able to eat more than a few crumbs even though I was starving and the inability to sleep for more than a few minutes - all this happened after a week in which I convinced myself that my wife didn't love me, her Grandfather got taken into hospital and died a couple of days after, my Grandmother got taken in to hospital at the other end of the country, my car broke down with a possible terminal fault and the celing came down in my daughters bedroom.
I had spoken to the Samaritains a few months ago, and after ringing them again the other day, I realised I needed more help than someone who could just listen. Luckily my work offers access to an independant counselling service, and from what the practictioner said, I rang just in time.
I have spoken with him 3 times now, and have been to my doctor who has prescribed me 4-weeks of Citalopram 20mg, and she is arranging an NHS counsellor and CBT. But I am scared about the side effects of the drug, as my wife is grieving and I don't want to add to her troubles.
But I know that I can beat this - it's not going to be easy, but I don't want to be feeling like this, so I will fight all the way to get to the other side. I have told a limited number of friends as I am not embarassed, and have been suprised that more than one has experience of similar problems (either themselves or their partner).
I look forward to forming friendships and helping not just myself, but others in the same situation.
From my parents splitting when I was young, through a number of attempts at suicide in my early teens, to 3 years of marriage troubles (and various other life-affecting events), I finally cracked a few days ago.
Uncontrollable shaking, crying at almost anything, not being able to eat more than a few crumbs even though I was starving and the inability to sleep for more than a few minutes - all this happened after a week in which I convinced myself that my wife didn't love me, her Grandfather got taken into hospital and died a couple of days after, my Grandmother got taken in to hospital at the other end of the country, my car broke down with a possible terminal fault and the celing came down in my daughters bedroom.
I had spoken to the Samaritains a few months ago, and after ringing them again the other day, I realised I needed more help than someone who could just listen. Luckily my work offers access to an independant counselling service, and from what the practictioner said, I rang just in time.
I have spoken with him 3 times now, and have been to my doctor who has prescribed me 4-weeks of Citalopram 20mg, and she is arranging an NHS counsellor and CBT. But I am scared about the side effects of the drug, as my wife is grieving and I don't want to add to her troubles.
But I know that I can beat this - it's not going to be easy, but I don't want to be feeling like this, so I will fight all the way to get to the other side. I have told a limited number of friends as I am not embarassed, and have been suprised that more than one has experience of similar problems (either themselves or their partner).
I look forward to forming friendships and helping not just myself, but others in the same situation.