Panic High Today After A Good Week

[Edward_1980]

So, today I woke up at around 11pm after being awake half the night with agitation. I found it nearly impossible to rest in bed last night and I kept getting these rushes of panic that would scare me half to death. Upon waking after a few hours this morning I was immediately filled with dread and had to get up out of bed very tired because I just couldn't lye there anymore. Throughout the morning my moods were really fluctuating, changing from normal to worried and then to highly anxious. Right now I am sweating really badly, tearing my hair out to cope with the agitation and constantly watching the clock in a very obsessive way. I'm terrified of the outside world and have locked all the doors and closed all the blinds. Even a car passing through the estate is enough to send me into panic mode. I was so bad earlier that when the postman dropped a letter in the door the sound of it sent me jumping. I'm still watching the clock, hoping that the day will just fly by and I can just take my medication tonight and try again to relax and just get at least a few hours rest from this state. I really don't want to sound negative, but it's too much to deal with today. That said, I am not remaining hopeless and I have taken a Valerian capsule along with an excessive amount of Bach Rescue Spray. The sweating isn't going away though and the anxiety is sky high. I feel trapped with no way out. This may sound very horrible of me, but I want to be on my own now and I am not looking forward to my partner coming home. I told him yesterday when he came home that I was hiding in the bedroom because my neighbor's kids were in the garden and they were making me panic. Just the sounds of their voices terrified me and I think he thought I was being silly. It wasn't silly for me when I was locked in a room and the feelings were very real to me. Still tearing my hair out now and the sounds from outside are really terrifying. Car doors banging and loud voices talking. I can't escape them. I am really nervous and anxious now and I'm beginning to cry and get upset over these feelings.

[bernie1977]

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious today Edward :hugs:

You're not being daft, you have an illness. Unfortunately not many people understand this illness which makes it worse for the sufferer.

I've felt like crap today. I woke up feeling nervous as I was due a visit from CPN. I get panic attacks when anyone other than my partner is in the house. As the morning went on I felt worse, I was trembling, felt sick, palpitations and kept having to go to the loo. In the end I cancelled the appointment and got back in bed. I know this was the wrong thing to do but I can't face the anxiety.

I know exactly what you mean about outside noises making you more anxious. I jumped a mile when my post came through the letterbox this morning! Like you i Have also done alot of crying today. As Scarlett said remember tomorrow is another day

[gypsywomen]

Your not being daft or anything like it ,,,this illness is a living nightmare ....like you somedays i wish the world would stop ,i have been to the place your in evrything is ten fold ,,,,,its like bing on a roller coaster not able to get off ,,,but you will gt better ,,, :)

[Edward_1980]

Hiya Bernie,

I am sorry you are also struggling today. I know exactly how you feel. Like you, I just am not able to face it today. There are too many feelings coming at me at once. Panic, dread, depression, agitation, paranoia, fits of crying. I feel so weak and stupid that I can't deal with them all. There's no way I can even leave the house today. I have already locked myself inside and the thought of even going into the garden fills me with panic. My partner just rang me from work and I tried my best to disguise what is happening. He would only laugh it off and tell me that I am being stupid. To be honest I don't know half of what he was talking about on the phone. My thoughts are racing and I kept getting distracted and lowered away from what he was saying. He is due home in an hour and a half and I really don't want him to find me in this state. I have nowhere to run though Bernie. I'm trapped and feel like there is a rope around my neck tightening my the minute. It's so hard to breath right now, but I'm using Bach every few minutes.

I'm sorry that you had to cancel your appointment today Bernie. I think we have both done a lot of crying today. How do I get myself out of this state in just an hour and a half? I feel ashamed if I am found in this state because I know my partner will see me as pathetic and babbling, which puts more pressure on me to have this matter resolved before he comes home. I'm still crying and sweating, but I have to be back to myself before he gets home. The question is how?

[bernie1977]

Oh Edward I don't know what to say. I've left a note in the kitchen for my partner saying I've gone to bed as I don't feel well. I know I can't snap myself out of this or try to hide my feelings as I feel so bad.

I worry that my partner will get fed up of me as I'm such a wreck and I don't know how I'd manage on my own as I rely on him for so much. He tells me he never will but I know I'm ruining his life.

Do you think a bath with some relaxing music would help you? You're probably thinking what a stupid suggestion to make! I can't think of anything to suggest as I know that when you feel like this there is nothing you can do and you feel under pressure because your partner will be home soon.

[MissHDynamite]

Hello Edward... It must be stress day today. I had a night similar to you and because I kept waking up in turmoil kept putting my head back under the covers worrying how am I going to get through today again!.. had to make myself get up and that was at 12 o'clock!

All that said, we have got through it before and we will again.. I think we are the strongest people we know.

Have you and can you take a calmer, diazepam type tablet to take the edge off? And have managed to put the tv or something on to distract you a little? xx

[Edward_1980]

Oh no Bernie, not at all. Right now I am open to any suggestions that come my way. I have some lavender oil left in the bedroom so I might take your advice and have a nice hot bath and try to relax.

I rely on my partner for nearly everything these days. Getting the shopping, collecting my medication, attending my many GP visits with me, cooking the dinner some nights because I am not well enough to do it.

The thing is that when I am well I can do all of these things myself, but days like today I am in such a panic that all I do is tear my hair out, watch the clock all the time, sweat, have trouble breathing and being genuinely terrified of every noise possible.


Gypsywomen - Thank you for your reply. I'm really hoping that I can find it in me to overcome this one. It's extremely bad today. I wish I would just snap out of it, calm down and stop sweating. It's rolling down my arms and I'm dreading my partner coming home, which is adding to this panic.

---------- Post added at 15:23 ---------- Previous post was at 15:21 ----------


Hello Edward... It must be stress day today. I had a night similar to you and because I kept waking up in turmoil kept putting my head back under the covers worrying how am I going to get through today again!.. had to make myself get up and that was at 12 o'clock!

All that said, we have got through it before and we will again.. I think we are the strongest people we know.

Have you and can you take a calmer, diazepam type tablet to take the edge off? And have managed to put the tv or something on to distract you a little? xx

Hiya Miss, I'm sorry you also had a bad night. It's times like this I wish I could take a Diazepam, but because of the addiction my GP, under the orders from my Psychiatrist and my Nurse, he is not allowed to give me anything like that. I have, though, taken two Valerian capsules and I am using my rescue spray, but it's beating me today.

[bernie1977]

Let us know how you get on later please Edward

[Edward_1980]

Going in for a lavender bath Bernie. Will let everyone know how I am in a while. And thank you for suggestion the bath. I wouldn't have thought of that myself in the middle of things :)

[joy]

Are any of you on medication

Joy

[bernie1977]

I'm on Trazodone as I can't tolerate SSRI's and SNRI's. I also have diazepam but I don't take it regularly as I don't want to get addicted. I've not been on the Trazodone for long

[Annie0904]

Hi Edward...just remind yourself of how positive you have been all last week. Today is just a little blip, probably because you had a bad night. I only got 4 hours sleep last night so really tired today and I think being tired makes you more anxious. Have that nice bath and then get that sausage and mash and veg cooked :) Sounds lovely...do you think you could send some over for me? I am just doing something quick and easy tonight because I am so tired...fish fingers and chips :) Don't forget, think of today as a little blip and tomorrow is another day and hopefully another positive one :hugs::hugs:

[Edward_1980]

Hiya guys,

Had my lavender bath and stayed in there for a half hour. I feel calmer now and I have talked things through with my partner. If only this associated depression would lift and go away now I'd be fine again.

Joy: I am on Zyprexa, Zispin and Lyrica.

Annie: I'm going to get a start on Dinner soon. I don't have an appetite after today, but I will force myself to eat. No point in going hungry. I just have to get over this blip today and look forward to another day tomorrow. I'm also sorry that you had a bad night also.

Thanks to everyone for the advice given to me today. I followed it through (Bernie - Great idea about taking a bath:) ) and seem to be slowly getting back on track.

[Annie0904]

Pleased to hear you are calming down again :). I think I will have a bath with epsom salts and lavender later after we have had dinner. Will have a cup of chamomile tea and my bach rescue night and hope to sleep better tonight. Hope you have a better night Edward :hugs:

[Laura123]

Hi Edward, I too had an awful night, my son (9) came through in the middle if the night crying and feeling he couldn't breathe, he has started showing signs of anxiety the past year or so, he cuddled into bed with me and I just hugged him for ages rue assuring him. He eventually fell asleep but I lay awake all night freaking out about his little mind. I have spent the day feeling panicky and nauseated sweating too. Hun we are going to have good days and bad days. Doesn't mean it's a step back, we are recovering and that takes time. Stop pressurising yourself to feel better for your partner coming home, that's only going to make you feel worse. Xxxx

---------- Post added at 17:19 ---------- Previous post was at 17:16 ----------

Must have been something about last night, we all seem to have been through a hellish night. Group hug, strength in numbers guys :) xxxx

[Edward_1980]

Laura,

I'm so sorry that you had a bad night as well. What happened to us last night and today at all. I'm also sorry about your son. It must be terrible for him to be experiencing signs of anxiety at that age. I really hope that the two of ye feel a lot better soon. I hope that I didn't set anyone's anxiety off today with my thread. Group hug :)

Annie, that sounds very relaxing. I really hope you have a better night tonight :)

[MissHDynamite]

Get me in that group hug :bighug1:

What a journey we are on.. so glad to have wonderfully kind people to share it with.. and the next time someone says "i'm stressed" we can say.. "stressed! you don't know what the flipping word means" lol We do :D xx

[Edward_1980]

Get me in that group hug :bighug1:

What a journey we are on.. so glad to have wonderfully kind people to share it with.. and the next time someone says "i'm stressed" we can say.. "stressed! you don't know what the flipping word means" lol We do :D xx

Of course you are in on that group hug:hugs:

I agree....We should say "Stressed? You don't know the half of it".:D

[STEPHYUNO]

Hi Edward,

Firstly,You are certainly not being daft man, I have had similar thoughts and feelings, perhaps not quite on the scale you describe, but none the less they can be disturbing, then we feel there is something wrong with us and we are alone and the anxiety escalates.

Well you are not alone! you are however as you know experiencing some mental health issues as we all are on here to some extent.

It sounds liked a really heightened state of anxiety which makes anything seem like a big deal and also some related paranoia.

Be interesting to know what meds youre on and the dosage as it may increase anxiety, also I noticed you said about taking meds at bedtime. I have done that in past with prozac and citalopram and couldnt sleep, when I took them in morning, I couldbe anxious duing the day.

The best advice I can give and works for me is taking my meds with my dinner around 5pm, I can still sleep and function well during the daytime.

you can and will feel better, find what works for you, which for me isn't just medication, it is only part, I think other therapies like C.B.T. would help you too.

Wishing you all the best,
Steph :0

[Edward_1980]

Hiya Steph,

First of all thank you for the reply. It's good to know that there is someone else who can relate to these symptoms. I am on 25mg Zyprexa, 45mg Zispin and 300mg Lyrica. I take the Lyrica in the morning and night and the other two just before bed. I was told by my Psychiatrist that I had to take the Zispin before bed because of it's ability to sedate you and help you get a good night's sleep. I have yet to see it doing that for me.

I am going to take your advice from today on and take my medication with dinner around 6pm and see how that works out for me. It has to be somewhat better then taking it at bedtime and being awake half the night.

Thank you again for your reassuring reply. I didn't get that much sleep either last night, but today I am determined not to get myself worked up into the state I did yesterday. I'm feeling a bit embarrassed about it now to be honest.