A little about me.

[ricardo]

I desperately wanted to join this forum.I have suffered general panic disorder and extreme anxiety for 30 years ,had every available drug and therapy but to no avail. My spelling isn't great but I have had the old fashioned drugs like parnate and then various SSRI drugs, aquapuncture,hypnotherapy,counscelling, alternative homopeadic lotions and even saw a medium who said my subconscious will not allow me to get better.

I am an only child and in the space of three years lost both my parents,went through a messy divorce and lost my business.my doctor gave me librium and mogadon which he presscribed for 3 years instead of short term(which I only found out later)
.
I am in my sixties , married and now my youngest is developing my symptoms. nothing works and my quality of life is under 10% yet when people meet me they can't see it and never understand. I live abroad have a wonderful wife but am so lonely. I have nearly every symptom you describe and the causes.I have been to the doctors regularly and have nothing physically wrong with me accept an enlarged prostrate but my levels are quite normal.I have OCD,phobias and even when I do go out can manage one day but can't do the same thing the next day. I even suffer in my own home and spend hours on my own.

[fozzy is crying]

:welcome:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[nomorepanic]

Hi ricardo

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Annie0904]

Hi :welcome: You sound as if you have had a lot to go through...I hope you can find lots of help and support here :hugs:

[almamatters]

:welcome:. Hope you find it helpful, It's a great site!

[ricardo]

Thanks for the welcome. Browsing around I appear to be a little old to get help or advise but I am always willing to listen,being vunerable affects us all with this illness .I have always believed it is best not to get too many differing opinions when one needs help. Does anyone agree ?

[Annie0904]

Thanks for the welcome. Browsing around I appear to be a little old to get help or advise but I am always willing to listen,being vunerable affects us all with this illness .I have always believed it is best not to get too many differing opinions when one needs help. Does anyone agree ?

You are never too old to get help or to advise and there are people of all ages on this site..We are all here to help and support each other :)

[BobbyDog]

Thanks for the welcome. Browsing around I appear to be a little old to get help or advise but I am always willing to listen,being vunerable affects us all with this illness .I have always believed it is best not to get too many differing opinions when one needs help. Does anyone agree ?



I am of the opinion that many differing views on anxiety and how we deal with it are what makes this site so rich. Sometimes I get that "Eureka" moment from reading replies to threads and learn something new that I would never have thought of. We are never too old to learn.:D

[caroline-j]

Hi Ricardo Alot of what you have written in your post reminds me of myself. I have suffered from anxiety for many many years and like yourself I have tried absoulutley everything I possibly can to help myself. Just wished there was a miracle cure out there. Want to be free from anxiety and live a normal life. Its the physical symptoms that I find hard to cope with.(very draining) I do hope that you start to feel better soon. If you have any questions you would like to ask me please do. Take care xx

[ricardo]

I am of the opinion that many differing views on anxiety and how we deal with it are what makes this site so rich. Sometimes I get that "Eureka" moment from reading replies to threads and learn something new that I would never have thought of. We are never too old to learn.:D

I didn't make myself very clear. What I meant is that we all have differing symptoms and perhaps one can relate with others that have similar feelings.
A bad example in my case is that I am not afraid of the dentist yet 50% of people are,yet ask me on certain days to walk 30 feet down my road and all the physical symptoms set in that i can hardly walk at all.

---------- Post added at 21:34 ---------- Previous post was at 21:30 ----------


Hi Ricardo Alot of what you have written in your post reminds me of myself. I have suffered from anxiety for many many years and like yourself I have tried absoulutley everything I possibly can to help myself. Just wished there was a miracle cure out there. Want to be free from anxiety and live a normal life. Its the physical symptoms that I find hard to cope with.(very draining) I do hope that you start to feel better soon. If you have any questions you would like to ask me please do. Take care xx

The physical symptoms are so real.If I focus on my throat, i get the lump in the throat feeling which may last for weeks.I try and accept it and eventually it goes away and the symptoms focus elsewhere in my body.IMO even my GP who knows me well, can't begin to understand how I feel.

[bignik]

I dont think the symtoms are the problem Ricardo , its acceptance of them. I hate to go to the dentist but no problem walking.. same poblem in theory but ones different we have to overcome. I dont think identifying feelings is the problem , the problem is the problem, different source but same problem... and I know I said this on an earlier thread the only way to beat it is acceptance, despite how horrible the thought is , it has to be faced and accepted for what it is

[ricardo]

The only literature i have read that comes near to this thread is my bible "Self Help for Your nerves" by Dr.Claire Weeks. As you rightly say acceptance is the way forward.
I am dyslexic but reasonably intelligent and in some ways that doesn't help my condition as I over analyse my condition to the extent that people who know me have to be careful what they say to me.(wish you had a spell check on here :))

[bignik]

Dr Claire Weeks has a good outlook on anxiety, over analysing is not ( although something I do myself very often and hard habit to break), anxiety for me having suffered last 2 years , that bad I was in hospital 6 months , is learning all over again its a bit like being a baby , meet things new or upsetting and try and manipulate them into your life best you can slowly.

Anxiety will not go away , there is no magic pill ... it has to be you that addresses the issues and trys to put thm right.

[ricardo]

If I am posting on the wrong thread kindly let me know.
Since joining only yesterday I am still learning how to use this excellent site, andi am not that computer literate.
Something struck me reading Nicola's story.It was about her partner leaving her.My wife of 30 years has stuck by me and often has said would I have done the same, and she has a good point.My heart says yes.However she cares for me but cannot sit at home all day and goes out with our dogs a lot or maybe has lunch with the few friends she has.She doesn't believe I will ever get better but hopes my quality of life improves.
We have never done anything together as a family with our kids when they were growing up or even now and therefore they naturally always talk to her about most things,as they know no different,and it makes me feel like an outsider even though I understand it, it hurts.



Also as we live abroad there is very limited mental health help, at least in english and over the last 12 years (the 18 years prior, I was being treated at The Priory,but not on a regular basis)I have seen various people who all say when you tell them your history that they have the solution but invariably it's all about money to them, though I fully accept that I have to make the effort more than anyone.
After thirty years of this illness maybe I have slumped into a way of life just to accept my condition but i am not getting younger.
It is difficult to write on here for me to people reading,though they have similar problems cannot really get a full insight, as the written word is never the same as looking at someone face to face andd most importanly feeling comfortable to talk with them.
Finally my GP says i have 3 options.Take medication again (which usually doesn't agree with me) try talking to a pyschologist (which I did over 8 sessions and was extremely costly,but to no avail) or just fight through it myself .There is no free service over here.

Sorry to go on.This wasn't easy to write.

[caroline-j]

i understand exactly what you mean about the physical symptoms as one goes another one appears somewhere else in the body. I believe this happens to give parts of our body a rest.